August 6, 2008

Sophie Monk Trades The GC Volvo In For A Maroon Jaguar

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 3:19 PM on August 6, 2008

Sophie Monk is certainly aware of the concept of "trading up": after breaking her engagement with Good Charlotte's cuddly tattoo artists' pin-cushion Benji Madden, she has apparently been macking with Maroon 5's lead dude and ladies' man Adam Levine. So sayeth the US gossips:

The Aussie, who was said to be in a relationship with American Idol host Ryan Seacrest, was reportedly seen having a pash with Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine in Los Angeles.

"They were on the patio at the Chateau Marmont, and they kissed," a source told The New York Post.

And that's all we've got on that story for the time being, so I've taken the liberty of creating an artist's impression of what I believe the events at the Chateau Marmont looked like:

sophieadam.jpg

I think you'll agree it is quite true to life.

YouTube Clip Of The Day

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 1:11 PM on August 6, 2008

This movie looks amazing. It's playing on Sunday at the Melbourne International Film Festival and I will be making a concerted effort to attend.

Scotty's Final Mission Ends in Weary, Waterlogged Disgrace

Posted by STV at 10:50 AM on August 6, 2008

Amid all the fuss of Century City bomb threats and advances in 'retard'-positive cinema, we regret overlooking the genuinely awful news that recently befell the family of late Star Trek actor James Doohan. To wit: Old Scotty's ashes, previously intended for a intergalactic resting place via a SpaceX rocket, made it exactly no miles above the Earth before crashing into the Pacific Ocean with scores of other folks' cremains — 208 in all. But Doohan was the only one whose son, upon the third and final attempt to successfully launch the craft, was invited to write a eulogy for Boing Boing:

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Error-Riddled TMZ Story Righted By Vigilant Comments Section

Posted by Seth at 10:30 AM on August 6, 2008

In lieu of simply noting the facts of this TMZ story on a lawsuit involving former Malcolm in the Middle star Justin Berfield and his producing partners on an is-it-real-or-is-it-Entourage? Pablo Escobar biopic, we thought we'd instead check in with the 24 Hr. TMZ Fact-Checking Dept.—i.e. their unpoliced comments section—for oversights, omissions, and general findings of note. Defamer's Crack Copy-Editing Team, meanwhile, presents the following with a sprawling blanket [sic]:

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In New Video, Paris Hilton Rebukes McCain, Successfully Pronounces Big Words

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 10:15 AM on August 6, 2008

First we were forced to give reluctant props to reality wannabe Khloe Kardashian, and now this: Paris Hilton has starred in a new video rebutting John McCain's "Celeb" ad, and it's...sigh, not that bad. Sure, we can give the lion's share of credit to writer Adam McKay (though he didn't help Step Brothers any), but the dim-bulb heiress totally nails her lines, forcing our grudging admiration. Just one bit of advice, Paris: though your proposed energy plan is intriguing, you'd better stay away from Tyra as VP.


Watch the video, after the jump:

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'Disaster Movie' Tactfully Sets Premiere Date on Third Anniversary of Katrina Disaster

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:40 AM on August 6, 2008

While you might expect to be mildly offended by the people behind Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, it's usually because they're coming out with more movies rather than because of anything in the films themselves. Now, though, they've made the classy move of premiering their latest spoof, Disaster Movie, on August 29th — the third anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

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No, Sherioushly, Anna Coren Lovesh You...

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:32 AM on August 6, 2008

Anna Coren concerned face.jpgSomehow we missed this amazing little item yesterday: Anna Coren and the rest of the Today Tonight crew took a break from telling us about the fat immigrant landlords who are ripping off our sick kids' bank managers (or words to that effect; rinse, repeat) to get blotto and have a little "turn" on the dancefloor. And wouldn't you love to have been this particular little Confidential "spy":

Coren, dressed in a "very, very short" minidress, was flirtatious and fiery after knocking back several rounds of shots bought for the group, according to one barfly who witnessed the event.

"At one stage Anna came back from the bar with more than 15 shots and as soon as they were polished off another 15 were ordered," the spy told Confidential.

"Anna even gave me a wink and said hi when I saw her at the bar. They were totally cutting loose.

"They were still partying when I left in the early hours of Saturday morning."

Ooh, a wink and a "hi"? And did she then ask for 40c so she could call her parents and tell them she'd met "the one"? Or ask the bar staff if they had a Band-Aid so she could stick it over her heart that was breaking because she'd just seen the most beautiful man in the world? Or say "Get your coat, you've pulled"??

Gwyneth Paltrow Not Exactly Helping Obama Combat Those 'Elitist' Charges

Posted by Mark Graham at 9:20 AM on August 6, 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow has worked really hard at ditching her snottier-than-thou attitude this year. Not only did she go to great lengths to sex up her image during the seemingly endless Iron Man press tour by donning a series of towering heels and flashing ample amounts of thigh, her admission that she's raising a pair of cross-dressing toddlers might even earn a nod of approval from the Lou Reed and David Johansen's of the world. But all of the inroads she's built look like they could come crashing down, thanks to her appearance in a hoity-toity political ad airing overseas now.

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Fifi Leaves Radio For The Box

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:07 AM on August 6, 2008

Fifi Box.jpgAfter hearing her voice thrown into the "who'll get the Dancing With The Stars gig?" mix a few times (and as we all know, Daniel MacPherson got it; yay.), you could've been forgiven for thinking Fifi Box was launching an assault on the televisual world - and, had you thought that, you would've ended up correct. The brassy (and yet, strangely lovable) radio personality will be leaving Triple M at the end of the year and running into the open arms of Channel Seven, where she will present a "wacky" weather segment a la Grant Denyer (who is too busy driving brrm brrm cars now, or something):

Channel 7 continued to deny a rift between Doyle and co-host David Koch over salaries, stating Box's appointment was an addition, not replacement, to the Sunrise team.

Box said she was "absolutely thrilled" to be joining the TV show.

"Television is an exciting new challenge for me and the chance to work with (the Sunrise team) Mel, Kochie, Nat and Beretts, who have been wonderful friends to me over the years, was an opportunity I could not resist," she said.

"I'm over the moon - I'm still pinching myself."

Spare a thought (oh, okay, don't) for the lads of The Shebang, the Triple M breakfast show Box has left in her wake, which will be packing up its meagre belongings in a red-spotted hankie tied to a stick at the end of the year, and trundling off down the road. The entertainment industry's a harsh mistress!

E! Host Giuliana Rancic Sues WMA For Daring to Employ Other Clients

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:00 AM on August 6, 2008

There are certain universal truths about Hollywood agents: namely, that they never pick up your phone calls, deal with you mostly through their assistants, and always seem to be finding work for people who aren't you. Sadly, E! bobblehead Giuliana Rancic (who we last saw announcing the death of "Brad Redfro" while dressed in a somber tube top) has failed to grasp that last tenet — in fact, she's suing her agents at William Morris for having the audacity to focus on anyone but her. Says Page Six:

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Posted by Seth at 8:45 AM on August 6, 2008

Suck It, Seacrest. Here's a pathetic little statistic for you: 300 people attended American Idol's first-ever audition in Puerto Rico. How's Simon Cowell supposed to work with that? It's not nearly as fun tearing apart some deluded young gay's dreams when there aren't 47,000 more deluded young gays waiting nervously outside the door for their own shot at humiliation. You guys barely even gave Paula a chance to get drunk! (PS: Puerto Rico, you are the coolest place in the greater U.S. and its territories right now. Own that. No one can take it away from you.) [UPI]

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Victor Announced In Defamer's 'Cast The Subway 911-Caller' Sweepstakes

Posted by Seth at 8:12 AM on August 6, 2008

We are humbled—truly, humbled—by the singular talents of you, our astute readership. Shortly after petitioning you to find the perfect man or woman to assume the psychologically complex role of Reginald Peterson—the sandwich-dressing-deprived Subway patron who boldly tried to take on the system and lost—and combing through your many suggestions (surprisingly, Abigail Breslin's name never came up), one casting idea came through the Defamer tipbox that towered above all others. The clear winner is after the jump.

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DreamWorks Goes 'No Retard,' Yanks 'Simple Jack' Site

Posted by STV at 7:40 AM on August 6, 2008

Well, that was fast: Mere days after first drawing attention on a disability issues blog (and eventually going under magnifying glasses at the NY Times and here at Defamer HQ), DreamWorks's mock Web site for Simple Jack is gone. The site had been part of the studio's complex interweaving of Tropic Thunder tie-ins, with its "Once upon a time... there was a retard" tagline tipping the story of a disabled farmhand whom Ben Stiller's character portrays in pursuit of an Oscar. But activist Patricia Bauer's vigil continued, culminating late Monday with a handy restitution checklist for Stiller, DreamWorks and their distribution partners at Paramount:

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Downey Jr.'s Nodding-Off Attributed To Debbie Matenopoulos's Droning Voice, Not A Heroin Relapse

Posted by Seth at 7:20 AM on August 6, 2008

We have been overcome today by a tidal wave of sympathy for everyone's favourite non-silly-voiced summer superhero Robert Downey Jr., who just can't seem to catch a break on his Tropic Thunder press junket. No sooner had he been ambushed by a rogue reporter from the I'm A Drunken Stoned Moron Entertainment News Syndicate, he then came face to face with E!'s Debbie Matenopoulos.

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Help Us Cast The Subway Sandwich 911-Caller MOW

Posted by Seth at 6:40 AM on August 6, 2008

Upon learning of the crimes of Jacksonville, Fl. native Reginald Peterson—who placed two 911 calls demanding local police locate and return a missing sandwich dressing to its rightful place atop his Subway spicy Italian sub—we were instantly reminded of Thelma Dennis, the Patron Defamer Saint of Emergency Phone Services Squandering, who phoned in fake bomb threats for 24 years.

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ThinkFilm Schmogul Experimenting With Bold 'Pay No One' Strategy

Posted by STV at 5:50 AM on August 6, 2008

It's been a while since we last heard from David Bergstein, the embattled studio chieftain whose cash-challenged Capitol/ThinkFilm operation has withstood everything from repeated production stoppages to lawsuit flurries in recent months. In the time since Variety caught up with him on his yacht at Cannes, however, he's been plenty busy polishing his brass balls, today unveiling his secret comeback plan in The Hollywood Reporter. Follow the jump for more specifics on the schmogul's no-cost rebuilding strategy:

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Warners Buys 'Drink, Play, F@&k' On Strength Of Title Alone

Posted by Seth at 5:10 AM on August 6, 2008

· Warner Bros. purchased the rights to the upcoming book Drink, Play, F@#K, a parody of chick-lit bestseller Eat, Pray, Love, in which a man "goes on a bender in Ireland, takes a gambling jaunt to Las Vegas and a embarks on a sex-tourism trip to Thailand." The hope is to launch a new guy-friendly franchise, with a sequel—Puke, Broke, AIDS—already in the works. [THR]
· Incomprehensible-pirate-trilogy-directing genius Gore Verbinski has a signed a three-year deal with Universal, where his adaptation of the videogame Bioshock is currently in development. [Variety]
· Mark Ruffalo, last of the great Ruffalos that once covered the majestic American plains, will direct Sympathy for Delicious, about "a paralyzed DJ struggling to survive in his wheelchair on the streets of L.A." We think we can picture it: Sort of Wheels meets Glitter. [Variety]
· Aging tween idol Amanda Bynes has shaken free of CAA's deathlock embrace, disappointed that the best material they've brought her in the past six months is a script for She's The Man 2: Basic Training and an opportunity to parody the Nikki Blonsky airport beatdown on Mad TV. [THR]
·CBS is hoping to develop a series based on the book Confessions of a Contractor, but producers keep pushing up the pilot finish date and demanding more money if they expect the wiring to meet city standards. (Honk!) [Variety]

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Tyra Dresses Up as Obama, Solves Iraq War With Walk-Off

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:20 AM on August 6, 2008

John McCain is going to love this: in what is apparently an inadvertent attempt to further the "Obama is a celebrity" meme, everyone's favourite slut rehabilitator Tyra Banks has turned up in the pages of next month's Harper's Bazaar, dressed as a Michelle Obama-ish First Lady (complete with a Barack-a-like and First Kid). Forget Tyra's Oprah envy — it's clear now that Ty-Ty has been taking her social-climbing tips from model-turned-First Lady Carla Bruni. Needless to say, the nation is not smiling with its eyes. Says Page Six (which calls the whole shoot "vaguely unsettling"):

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BREAKING: Bomb Threats Spur Evacuations at MGM Tower

Posted by STV at 3:59 AM on August 6, 2008

And we don't mean Valkyrie: Word into Defamer HQ reveals that a bomb threat has been received by multiple tenants at MGM Tower, indicating that "the device would be activated at noon." The LAPD has been notified, evidently, but with the threat having yet to be verified, the building superintendents are reportedly evacuating the building from 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. We hear ICM is out already.
Follow the jump for the full memo, and best wishes to those affected in Century City. Developing...

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Posted by STV at 3:45 AM on August 6, 2008

BREAKING BATNEWS: Word just over the transom says The Dark Knight has broken $400 million in domestic box office in just its 18th day of release — a new record surpassing Shrek 2's previous 43-day milestone. Defamer sources attribute yesterday's nudge to Al Gorman, a 44-year old plumber from Columbus, Ohio, in whose name Warner Bros. commemorated "the Gorman Seat" at the AMC Lennox Town Centre 24 with a special plaque and new black upholstery. Gorman's health insurer, meanwhile, promptly canceled his coverage on account of his newly accursed exposure to drug overdoses, car rolling and kin-assaults. [Variety]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Confused by New 'Terminator' Footage, Robot Ambiguity

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:25 AM on August 6, 2008

Busy accepting Bollywood paychecks, offering tank rides to children, and occasionally running the state of Colly-fornia, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has somehow carved time into his schedule to screen footage from the upcoming, unessential McG sequel Terminator: Salvation, starring Christian Bale as John Connor (and virtual unknown Sam Worthington as an amnesiac maybe-Terminator). So, does he give the new film a molten steel-dipped "thumbs up"? According to the LAT, not so much:

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Superhero to Be Seth Rogen Vomits His Way to Fighting Shape

Posted by STV at 3:05 AM on August 6, 2008

Seth Rogen adds another dimension of career versatility this week with Pineapple Express, audiences' first glimpse at his impressive action chops. As explained to David Letterman in no uncertain terms on Monday night, however, the Power Schlub — who is starting out preparations for his title role in The Green Hornet — still has a ways to go before achieving the muscular standard of his genre counterparts. For starters, we don't imagine Daniel Craig struggles as mightily with crunches as Rogen has, and even Tobey Maguire seems to have overcome the training anguish to which Rogen claims he's succumbed as unglamourously as possible. But look on the bright side, Seth: If ever Hollywood had a quick fix for a fitter, thinner you, stomach-emptying is indeed as tried-and-true a method as any. Ask anyone — and keep at it! [CBS]

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How to Derail a Junket: Ask Robert Downey Jr. Who He'd Like To 'Smoke a Blunt With'

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:40 AM on August 6, 2008

Can't a little movie like Tropic Thunder catch a break? The Ben Stiller comedy has thus far managed to survive racism, ratings, "retards," and American Idol — and that's before it's even come out (Wednesday, August 13!). Still, all that was child's play compared to the newest Tropic trouble, instigated by an overzealous radio DJ who crashed the film's junket to ask Robert Downey Jr. some of the most inane questions Iron Man has ever had to face. Listen in horror as the notoriously rehabbed actor is asked which costar he'd like to "drink a brew and smoke a blunt with" (only the first of many, many stupid questions) — we've even provided a helpful assortment of what we can only imagine were Jack Black and Ben Stiller's reaction shots. Enjoy!

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Deepak Chopra Comes Clean, Admits He Hated 'Love Guru'

Posted by STV at 2:20 AM on August 6, 2008

It seems like only yesterday that Deepak Chopra flexed his philosophical muscle in the name of The Love Guru, deflecting rumours of its anti-Hindu undercurrents in a zinger of an essay on BeliefNet: "Silliness often has wisdom hidden just beneath the surface — perhaps The Love Guru will, also, since Myers laced his Austin Powers farce with a message about tolerance — but if you can't accept silliness in the first place, you are likely to be immune to wisdom, too."

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