August 5, 2008

When Tania Zaetta Is Not Drinking Lemon Detox, She Likes To Film Ninja Movies In Geelong

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 1:20 PM on August 5, 2008

tania_zaetta_l.jpgAfter starring in the decade's most memorable celebrity endorsement deal ("Accused of banging the entire Australian Army? Try Lemon Detox!"), Tania Zaetta has done what most would do in her situation and returned to work - however, her latest project is not another Bollywood hit, but an action movie - to be filmed in none other than Australia's cultural, G-Banger.

Is Geelong the new Hollywood? Only time will tell!

Geelong film buff Rob Baard says he is close to securing $6 million from backers for his debut feature film, The Ninja.

The production will use North Geelong's Mill Markets as a studio with scenes shot around the city's streets.

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Daniel MacPherson Is The New 'Dancing' Host; Somewhere, Larry Emdur Cries Quietly

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 12:10 PM on August 5, 2008

Tina and Daniel.jpgAfter praying to God/Buddha/Gary Ablett that either Larry Emdur or Andrew O'Keefe (or, indeed, Tina Sparkle) would get the Dancing With The Stars hosting gig in Daryl Somers' stead, the show has casually slipped itself back into the irrelevance folder (in the Defamer Australia household, at least) by announcing Daniel MacPherson as the host.

We're so... whelmed that we'll let Daniel do the talking, and isn't this the most spontaneous and self-effacing quote you've ever read in your life:

"Professionally I thrive on challenges. For me, live TV is sort of the pinnacle of entertainment. You risk so much. You risk your personal and professional reputation every time you go out there, particularly in a vehicle that's as huge as Dancing.''

Only last month MacPherson spoke of his disinterest in hosting a television series after The X Factor bombed in 2005.

"Drama has always been my true goal ... Nah, I can't see myself hosting in the near future,'' he said in July.

Oh good! Can't see yourself hosting, can you? Neither can we! And while you're at it, get your hands off our Tina Sparkle, please.

Back to lighting candles in the vain hope that The Late Andrew O'Keefe will be greenlit, then.

Chris Rock's F*&%ing Night At The Roxbury

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 11:52 AM on August 5, 2008

chris_rock375.jpgGood to see Australian audiences keeping up our rep as comedy fans on the edge of the edgy: Chris Rock has caused an outbreak of the sooky la las after getting blue at a surprise gig in Sydney. What were they expecting, Adam Hills & The Cuddly Fun Nanna Hour (with Rove on warm-up duties)?

According to Confidential spies, the 25-minute routine featured the "f" word more times than a Ramsay cooking episode - playing fun with everything from Barack Obama to Australia's origins as a convict country.

Ahead of his first tour of Australia, Rock, known for his no-limits, confrontational style, was accompanied by an entourage of seven and the star was dressed smartly in a black trench coat.

Roxbury Hotel staffer Chris Strickland said he thought the venue was being "punked" when Aussie promoter Artie Lang called on the night to arrange the secret slot.

The Saturday Night Live star did not explain his motives for the impromptu, preview gig, but it proved a cheap thrill for the lucky 100 in the pub on the night.

Ha ha, that use of "punked" in inverted commas says it all, really. Top work, Chris Strickland - to the top of the Jazz Randyboy class go you! In any case, now seems as good a time as ever to share one of my favourite Chris Rock Show highlights with you all, How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police - over the jump.

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Bad News For Reggie from Big Brother...

Posted by Jess McGuire at 10:26 AM on August 5, 2008

Sad news - apparently former Big Brother winner Reggie "I done a poo!" Bird (well, her surname is now Sorensen but anyway...) is going blind.

Reggie says she is suffering from retinitis pigmentosa (RP), an inherited, degenerative condition that affects just one in 3000 Australians. Reggie, 34, told Woman's Day magazine it's only a matter of time before she loses her sight completely.

Poor Reggie :(

Madonna's New Face Turns The 'Volume' All The Way Up To 11

Posted by STV at 10:20 AM on August 5, 2008

Madonna's publicist isn't talking about what her clients like the Material Girl and Cher are doing to their faces ("I have never represented anyone who has spoken to me about plastic surgery. Nor have I asked them. I don't want to know!"), but that doesn't mean the doctors, the "dermatologists" and other illustrious characters in the pageant of A-list cosmetic surgery aren't offering up a ghastly state of the union regarding their trade in this week's New York Magazine. Which naturally includes Madonna, the issue's cover girl and unauthorized representative of the New New Face — as opposed to the "Old" New Faces belonging to the mishandled likes of Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan.

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Who's Creepier: Joe Simpson, Billy Ray Cyrus, Or Hulk Hogan?

Posted by Seth at 10:00 AM on August 5, 2008

· We think it's the one who shows up to spring break with your professional beer-bongist Uncle Knobs in tow. [Brooke Knows Best]
· We could spend all day reading the various captions beneath identical tabloid photos of Sylvester Stallone's veiny forearms. [Daily Mail]
· There's something about Sawyer weighing in on the Chosen Blobs photos that kind of kills the whole Lost mystique—we just can't put our fingers on what that is. [ET Online]
· If we told you we had access to footage of Hitler singing one of the greatest TV theme songs of all time, is that something you might be interested in? [WOW Report]
· "Molly McAleer is the cute, adorably sassy, camera-friendly personality on defamer.com. We are a website looking for our Molly McAleer." We'll trade her for a pack of Marlb Meds and a handicap parking pass. [Craigslist]

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Hollywood Forever: Long Live Jane Fonda's Boobs

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:45 AM on August 5, 2008


Every group of friends has a Movie Nazi. You know this person: they buy the tickets a day in advance; they send the email two weeks beforehand, organizing everyone; they insist you get there at least a half hour early so you can get the best seats. You grumble, but in the end you are grateful for the Movie Nazi, especially when the movie event in question is at the Cinespia outdoor film series at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Follow along as we break down an evening spent with thousands of our closest friends for a screening of the '60s camp classic Barbarella.

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YouTube Clip Of The Day

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:38 AM on August 5, 2008

Okay, okay, Rachael Leigh Cook! I won't touch heroin, I swear to god!

(rocks back and forth)

She was much more jovial in Josie & The Pussycats.

Helen Mirren's Award Winning Abs

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:37 AM on August 5, 2008

Congratulations to Oscar winning sixty-something year old actress Dame Helen Mirren whose never ending hotness - remember? - has led to her enviably flat stomach being declared the third sexiest tummy on the planet, as judged by the makers of a "stomach flattening supplement" called AntiBloat (and can you imagine better folk to assess celeb torsos? I cannot...)

The 63-year-old actress - who recently wowed onlookers with her trim physique when she donned a bikini while on holiday in the Italian Riviera - came third in the poll.

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Britpop Flashback!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:31 AM on August 5, 2008

I don't think Sleeper was a huge band over in Australia, but I remember being in London in 1996 and hearing their track 'Sale Of The Century' on the radio and loving it very much.

Unfortunately I can't find a clip to publish right here for your convenient viewing pleasure (embedding disabled, I hate you!) but click on the picture below and you can go soak it up in your own time.

sleepervid.jpg

Quite good, don't you think?

Is This The Fight That Ends 'The Two Coreys?'

Posted by Seth at 9:25 AM on August 5, 2008

The incessant squabbling between Corey Feldman and Corey Haim reached its logical conclusion on last night's The Two Coreys, when Haim—fresh off a botched chance at career resuscitation on the set of Lost Boys 2—was cornered by Pauly Shore and Todd Bridges for an intervention/'80s-TV-theme-singalong gone terrible wrong (video after the jump). What comes next is something so horrible—worse even than Feldman's ear-shredding poolside recital—that our shaking hands can barely type the words to describe it: A note left inside one of Haim's sneakers (nice touch, story editing department!) leads to a nuclear showdown between the two soured bromance partners and Mrs. Susie Sprague-Feldman. Does this mark the very end for the two lifelong friends? Will they never again stand-by-side, posing playfully with Popsicles as if they were lit stogies? We pray that's not the case, but we fail to see how they'll ever be able to replace the smoking rubble where once stood sturdy bridges. Until next season, at least.

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Some Perfectly Executed MySpazz Satire For Your Tuesday

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:13 AM on August 5, 2008

So I have a chum who has created a MySpazz persona and begun blogging about rock music. They are a music writer (it's not our Associate Editor though), but have sworn me to keep their identity a secret. Whatever. I will keep their real name under wraps, but I really must direct you to their latest blog post "The Top 10 Most Overrated Albums of All Time" which was clearly penned with the goal of scoring as many outraged MySpace blog comments from coolsie kids as possible - and good lord, didn't they succeed!

Amongst the list of "overrated" albums are Exile On Main Street, Nevermind, Blonde on Blonde, and Hendrix's Are You Experienced? (how's this for a gem - "Listen up, Jimi Hendrix, I've played Guitar Hero and I can tell you, YOU ARE HOLDING IT THE WRONG WAY AROUND. You are clearly not at all experienced, now are you?")

Needless to say, the post has already scored 460+ comments (approximately 455 of them screaming "DIE" or an equivalent insult). Not only is the blog entry itself rather rib-tickling, but the comments have had me in stitches.

Go check it out for yourself. Kudos (2 of 'em) to you, "Vonette Cherry".

Can't wait to see what your next blog entry is about.

Couch Jumper Richard Simmons Stops Just Shy of Declaring Love for Katie Holmes

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:05 AM on August 5, 2008

David Letterman's Late Night couch has become the one-stop shop for celebrity revelations these days, whether it's Mindy Kaling breaking out her trusty Apu impression or Rosie Perez mistaking her co-star for a popular follicle stimulant. Late Show mainstay Richard Simmons at first seems poised for a similar breakthrough moment as he pulls a Tom Cruise, climbing aboard Dave's couch in this clip (preserved after the jump). However, instead of shouting out his adoration for a CW starlet, the exercise guru makes an impassioned plea for...physical education. Head in hands, Simmons' long-suffering publicist put in a reassuring call to Blake Lively ("The plan is still on — I swear!") and booked a romantic do-over on the next episode of Tyra. [CBS]

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Discuss: Charlie Sheen Makes $800,000 Per Episode of 'Two and a Half Men'

Posted by STV at 8:25 AM on August 5, 2008

For vivid proof of the weakening dollar, look no further that the annual salary survey in the forthcoming issue of TV Guide: After two years of slumming alongside the likes of Zach Braff and seeing everyone from William Petersen ($600,000 per episode) to the Simpsons cast (each $400,000 per episode) pass him by, Charlie Sheen has reclaimed his spot at the top of the prime-time cash heap, earning $800,000 per 30-minute episode of Two and a Half Men. Granted, it's not seven-figure Friends money (which Sheen originally asked for in negotiations back in 2006), but we still think it bears repeating: Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. Join us in getting our heads around it (and a few other hot-ticket raises) after the jump.

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'Mole' Lover Neil Patrick Harris Confesses His Crush on Silver Fox Anderson Cooper

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:00 AM on August 5, 2008

Most gay men celebrate their coming out experience with increasing self-confidence and visibility (sometimes followed by a dark period that could be dubbed the "Fiesta Cantina stage"), and How I Met Your Mother star Neil Patrick Harris is no exception. On the heels of flamboyant moves like starring in internet musicals and dressing up as a shoe fairy, the universally-adored actor has finally lost his gay press virginity, consenting to his first cover story in Out magazine. Though he admits to some trepidation (mostly fearing that his words will be taken out of context — why, who would do that?), he's not afraid to express his affection for a certain gray-haired anchorman:

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Posted by Seth at 7:35 AM on August 5, 2008

BREAKING! This just in from Trisha Gregory, Senior PR Manager for luxury footwear house Salvatore Ferragamo: "Dear All: I am writing to inform you that actor Zac Efron wore a pair of black calf ankle-boots with a strap, which wraps around the ankle and a gancini buckle, to the 2008 Teen Choice Awards held on Sunday, August 3rd 2008 in Los Angeles (please see picture attached)." Please do not flood our inbox for more information; those are all the details we have for you at the moment. [ferragamo.com]

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Posted by STV at 7:25 AM on August 5, 2008

Adventures in Procrastination: We might have found just the thing to make these long, early August weekdays tolerable: the Parallel Universe Film Guide, a sort-of comprehensive database of movies bearing uncanny likenesses to classics and not-so-classics cataloged by IMDB. We're stunned to find new favourites like 1972's The Lovablest Mafia Family in the World, the 1985 culture clash Suddenly Amish, the award-winning drama My Wild Irish Invalid and the unfinished silent classic The Night Jerker among many others, all neatly cross-referenced by star, director and even memorable quotes. If you can browse the PUFG and manage to get any more work done today, then you're just not paying attention. [PUFG via Snobsite]

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Fox's Reality Sweatshop 'Dance' Puts Two In Hospital

Posted by Seth at 7:05 AM on August 5, 2008

Celebrity Hospitalization Week continues here at Defamer with some distressing news from the sweat-soaked-leotard world of So You Think You Can Dance. No sooner did we note that Fox had picked up another season of the series—a reality competition seeking America's Top Krumping Ballroom Cha Cha Champion—comes news that two of the final four contestants were hospitalized for failing to keep up with the grueling demands of the show's whip-cracking, belegwarmered creator, Nigel Lythgoe. From People.com:

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Lindsay Lohan To Plan Elaborate Gay Wedding, Divorce?

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:45 AM on August 5, 2008

After "going gay" for Samantha Ronson, is there anything left in the tabloid till for cinema alumna Lindsay Lohan? According to the ever-reliable UK fishwrap News of the World, there is: in a bid to retake the headlines stolen by little sister Ali, Lindsay and her sapphic sweetheart Sam are planning to get hitched (an anniversary present that somehow eluded our suggestions). Says the excitable Rav Singh:

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'Price Is Right' Horny For Younger Eyeballs

Posted by Seth at 5:55 AM on August 5, 2008

·First they try to Poochie-up Ebert & Other Guy, now this: In a bid to appeal to a younger audience, Beauty and the Geek host Mike Richards has been hired to take over showrunning duties on The Price is Right. Which strikes us as just plain wrong: white trash grandmas and TPIR go together like mayonnaise and cold hot dogs. (But if that's really the plan, they might want to start with canning Drew Carey, who we literally noticed nodding off during a not-particularly-gripping round of Mountain Climber recently.) [Variety]
·The TCA—whom we've suggested might best be taken off life-support and sent to that all-expense-paid junket in the sky—will come three weeks later next year, in the hopes of giving the critics attending some idea of what it is they are covering. [Variety]
· E! has paid New Line $7 million for rights to broadcast the Sex and the City movie, The Women, and He's Just Not That Into You, with an eye towards launching a new weekly program entitled Ryan Seacrest Presents: My Favourite Movies of All Time. [Variety]
· Disney purchased the rights to Monster Attack Network, a graphic novel set on a tropical island inhabited by giant monsters which they assure us will be adapted into a kick-arse monster island movie, not "the artsy farty Spike Jonze thing over at Warner Bros." [THR]
· Fox has picked up another season of So You Think You Can Dance, and EP/judge/longwinded-speechifier Nigel Lythgoe has reportedly left American Idol after seven seasons to concentrate solely on it. [THR]

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Verne Troyer Lawsuit Goes to the (Allegedly Abused) Dogs

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 5:35 AM on August 5, 2008

Just when it seemed that the Verne Troyer abuse imbroglio couldn't sink any lower, his ex, Ranae Shrider, drops a new bombshell: the diminutive actor used to attack her dogs with his reaching stick! Says Shider's rep, Holly Bannon, to Us Weekly:

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Christina Applegate, Bernie Mac Among Latest Celeb Hospitalizations

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2008

It's a bad day to be a celebrity: as Morgan Freeman recovers from a car accident that left him in serious condition, actors Christina Applegate and Bernie Mac grapple with health problems of their own. People has the Applegate scoop:

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Anne Hathaway Nude Pictures Emerge as Latest FollieriGate Treasure

Posted by STV at 4:35 AM on August 5, 2008

The hits keep on coming in the doomed romance between Anne Hathaway and Raffaello Follieri, from the latter of whose New York penthouse the feds have purged everything from abandoned dogs to Hathaway's diaries and now, if rumours are true, a collection of Hathaway soft-core commissioned by Follieri himself. It's nothing we haven't seen before in Brokeback Mountain or Havoc, presumably, but God's CFO wants what God's CFO wants. Tastefully smutty details after the jump.

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Posted by Seth at 4:20 AM on August 5, 2008

A Morgan Freeman Car Accident Update, in Which Things Don't Sound As Dire As We Feared: News reports claim the star of Wanted and The Dark Knight was "lucid, conscious," at the time of the rescue. "He was talking, joking with some of the rescue workers at one point." When someone tried to take a mobile phone picture at the accident site, he joked, "No freebies, no freebies." His condition is still listed as serious, with only a broken arm specified among his various injuries. Fellow wreck survivor Shia—his own hand currently "crushed" but recovering—is giving him a fist-bump from the heart. [commercialappeal.com]

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Behold, The Chosen Blobs

Posted by Seth at 4:05 AM on August 5, 2008

As we teased Friday, courtesy of the deep, deep pockets of the celebrity-baby-photo-crazy people at People, we bring you the first electronically captured and distributed images of The Chosen Blobs, the second and third genetically flawless products of Angelina Jolie's overtaxed loins. Similar in golden hue to their older sister—but providing twice the miraculous healing and war-ending properties—little Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline are pictured napping peacefully beneath their enraptured parents, cute enough to be devoured like two tiny, butter-poached escargots.

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Wisecracks and Wyverns: It's the Animated 'Buffy' That Never Was

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:00 AM on August 5, 2008

Like the blood-sucking vampires dramatized by their idol, fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon are always hungry, letting no series, comic book or musical web-blog go unconsumed. Into their gaping maw, then, we throw this: a just-surfaced clip from the pilot presentation for Whedon's aborted, animated Buffy spinoff. The gang's all here (sans series star Sarah Michelle Gellar), and even though the project was terminated years ago, it's a nostalgic hoot. Plus, cartoon Giles? Strangely alluring.

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Blonsky vs. Golden: Let's Go to the Videotape!

Posted by STV at 3:40 AM on August 5, 2008

While the early eyewitness accounts of last week's Blonsky Family Reunion and Airport Rumble yielded enough specifics to suss young star Nikki Blonsky's injuries, it wasn't until today that we've finally seen the video that we knew would surface in the bloody aftermath. And what a scene it is, featuring Blonsky's Long Island nemesis and America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden standing firm as the Hairspray actress is dragged away, yelping for charges to be pressed. But what really makes the sparring special is the camerawoman's inspired commentary: "She done decked the girl out, Tracy Turnblad... She won't be dancing around here today." No kidding: Both Blonsky and Golden were later charged with actual bodily harm (which, according to People Magazine, carries a maximum sentence of two years), while Blonsky's father Carl faces even sterner judgment — a five-year maximum on charges of grievous bodily harm. And at the end of it all stands the steely-eyed Golden, prompting us to wonder exactly how such a lithe beauty could ever outmaneuver the infamous Blonsky Sandwich. So many questions! For now, though, follow the jump and bask in the play-by-play joy, live from Turks and Caicos. [TMZ]

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To Evade Unflattering Prison Stripes, Mary-Kate Olsen Seeks Immunity in Heath Ledger Drug Inquiry

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:20 AM on August 5, 2008

Uncle Jesse would be very disappointed: according to the New York Post, Mary-Kate Olsen is refusing to speak (wait, they talk?) with federal investigators looking into the death of Heath Ledger — that is, until she receives immunity from prosecution. It seems the feds are making inquiries to determine when and from who Ledger obtained the drugs that may have led to his death, and Olsen (who, as you'll recall, was the first person called when Ledger's masseuse discovered the body) is the only one who isn't talking:

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Biff! Bam! Pow! The 'Dark Knight' Backlash Hits Full Swing

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:50 AM on August 5, 2008

Undeterred by a signal on the moonlit sky shaped like a persnickety film critic hanging from a noose, a few courageous media voices are rising up in opposition to The Dark Knight, daring to suggest that the greatest movie ever made might actually, y'know, not be. First came the AP, which devoted a whole article to Christian Bale's throaty Batman voice, asking, "Why so sonorous?" Now, in a scene that recalls The Dark Knight's ferry-set climax, even more brave voices souls are daring to speak up, suggesting continuity goofs and asking important questions like, "No, seriously: what was up with that Scarecrow cameo?" The Detroit News breaks down ten of The Dark Knight's biggest head-scratchers, excerpted after the jump:

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BREAKING: Morgan Freeman In Serious Car Wreck

Posted by Seth at 2:34 AM on August 5, 2008

Terrible news: Morgan Freeman is in "serious condition" after the jaws of life were used to pry him out of a severe car wreck near his home in Mississippi:

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'Tropic Thunder' Braces For 'Retard' Backlash

Posted by STV at 2:20 AM on August 5, 2008

Several months ago, the red-band trailer for Tropic Thunder suggested that not only could Ben Stiller's Hollywood satire be summer's most surefire gutbuster, but also that its trailer-within-a-trailer — featuring Stiller as the developmentally disabled title character of the Oscar-bait drama Simple Jack — portended perhaps the best movie never made. (And look! It even has its own Web site!) But having seen Thunder and thus the degree to which Simple Jack plays a role in the story, we think we got our fill: "You went full retard, man" Robert Downey Jr.'s Method actor (in blackface!) tells Stiller's slumping action hero. "Never go full retard."


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'Dark Knight' A Golden Guano Machine

Posted by Seth at 2:00 AM on August 5, 2008

Welcome to August, where besides you and that weird dude in the mailroom who collects signed photos of the Howard Stern Wack Pack, the office is eerily devoid of life. Comfort yourselves with some box office numbers:

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