RSS Feeds
'Us Weekly' Liveblogs Sarah Silverman's Post-Jimmy Kimmel-Breakup Brunch Of Despair
Posted by Seth at 6:35 AM on July 15, 2008
We don't know how many more young Hollywood power-couple breakups our hearts can bear: Days after learning that Drew Barrymore would never again look the Mac Guy in his built-in iSights, cooing, "You're so unbelievably special and have a huge, amazing heart. You really do have the soul of a manatee—free and strong and beautiful," out of the side of her mouth, comes word now that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's open-fucking-relationship is no longer. (Sure, this seems like Matt Damon's perfect opportunity to swoop in and bag the potty-mouthed Jewess of his dreams, but we'd argue that it was the illicit nature of their mini-bar rendezvous that really fuelled the affair. Now that she's available, we doubt we'll be hearing any musical odes to fat Damon moustache rides.) While their flacks would only offer, "Jimmy and Sarah will have no further comment," usmagazine.com spotted Silverman with "a male friend" at WeHo bruncherie Hugo's, where they obsessively chronicled her every menu choice, facial expression, and A-list tableside condolence:
"She really looked like she was in good spirits," an observer tells Us. "She was laughing and smiling. Very animated."
But a few minutes later, Silverman - who ate organic quinoa topped with fresh fruit - grew somber and became enthralled in a heart-to-heart conversation with her pal."She was talking and it looked like he was listening and then advising her," the onlooker tells Us. "This went on for around 20 minutes."
Mutual friend Jonah Hill - who has appeared in comedy skits on Kimmel's ABC show - was dining in the restaurant and also stopped by to say hello.
"Jonah's appearance definitely had an effect on her," a witness tells Us. "They spoke for just a minute. And after he left, Sarah looked momentarily pensive."
We'll spare you their breathtaking coverage of what Silverman's eyebrows were doing when she asked for a coffee refill, and analysis of the sounds coming from the women's bathroom (muffled sobs, streaming liquid) after she briefly excused herself from the table. The last thing anyone wants or needs after a difficult breakup is to have their every move scrutinized—particularly any pensiveness one might experience after a close friend with romantic designs offers, "You want a shoulder to cry on? Or a funny shlub who actually knows what he's doing in the sack? You call me, Sar. Enjoy the quinoa. Works wonders on the colon," before smiling empathetically and sailing out the doors.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Passwordforgetter
Posted 7:42 AM 15/7/08
Ehh, something tells me banging Sarah Silverman would get old pretty quick. And to "TheQuestion": What world are You living on ?
Passwordforgetter
enriquez the water bottle
Posted 7:30 AM 15/7/08
@NoGrumpys: And JAG.
enriquez the water bottle
NoGrumpys
Posted 7:23 AM 15/7/08
when Sarah made a comment on Jimmy's Comedy Central Roast that Adam Corrola's balls were slapping against his chin - I knew the relationship wouldn't last.
I still can't belive Sarah appeared on an episode of ST: Voyager
NoGrumpys
NoWireHangers
Posted 7:11 AM 15/7/08
Yes, but did she salt and/or pepper her food? How often did she use her napkin? Can we get a body language expert in on this? What type of pattern did her lipstick stains leave on the glass?
NoWireHangers
EuroDad
Posted 6:57 AM 15/7/08
methinks it won't be too long 'til we see the "other" I'm Fucking Matt Damon video she's sending Jimmy right now from her Iphone
EuroDad
TheQuestion
Posted 6:47 AM 15/7/08
Kind of a bummer for Kimmel - doubtful that he's famous enough to bag anyone that hot again. And, come on, doesn't Sarah Silverman's whold deal just scream "I'm the freak you never thought you'd score!" Points for rockin' the cleavage, SS.
TheQuestion
Old No.7
Posted 6:46 AM 15/7/08
Sounds like he dumped her ass. Nice work, Kimmel.
Old No.7
RocketRockit
Posted 6:45 AM 15/7/08
I honestly can't stand either of them, so whatevs to this.
RocketRockit
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 6:41 AM 15/7/08
I'd comment on this in an animated way but I am being momentarily pensive. BTW, I am having a caesar salad with extra croutons. At my desk. Alone.
Little Mintz Sunshine
WGARefugee
Posted 8:17 AM 15/7/08
You guys are right. She's nothing but trouble. Everyone should avoid her (Psst, Sarah--call me).
WGARefugee
RocketRockit
Posted 7:50 AM 15/7/08
@Passwordforgetter: Thank you for saying what I was thinking.
RocketRockit
LBJeffries
Posted 8:51 AM 15/7/08
I can't believe she was having an earnest conversation with a person. That's what I don't believe.
LBJeffries
HandsomeBwonderful
Posted 8:42 AM 15/7/08
If those two couldn't make it work, what hope do any of us have? Alas, they will emerge renewed and with purpose and upgrade to newer models. But, there is one question, in the 213's world of starfuckery, how was it possible that two people can date BENEATH each other at the same time. Freaky.
HandsomeBwonderful
majikthise
Posted 9:08 AM 15/7/08
"they" said they'd never get married until gays could get married. gays can now get married in CA. maybe someone pushed the issue that someone else was using as an excuse?
majikthise
NoGrumpys
Posted 9:02 AM 15/7/08
btw
I'm fucking Matt Damon
NoGrumpys
rtisovec
Posted 9:34 AM 15/7/08
Is Fran Drescher still alive? Seems like a natural rebound for Kimmel.
rtisovec
DrAftershave
Posted 9:58 AM 15/7/08
@majikthise: ever think about the fact that maybe Sarah was trying to tell us something? with gay marriage legal, she's sticking to her word. she's going to get married. i'm just saying that Jimmy's role would not work in a gay marriage. wonder who the lucky lady is?
DrAftershave
el smrtmnky
Posted 10:57 AM 15/7/08
ack! need to learn how to drink and type better. Anyhoo...
i imagined the entire story as written by the El Pollo Loco pitchman. i think US has raised the bar, people. I think we need to aspire to that quality in our Privacy Watch posting.
el smrtmnky
el smrtmnky
Posted 10:56 AM 15/7/08
i imagined the entire i think US has raised the bar, people. I think we need to aspire to that quality in our Privacy Watch posting. Quinoa or not,
el smrtmnky
Mr-Busy
Posted 11:28 AM 15/7/08
Doesn't anyone here have Sirius radio? Didn't the Kimmel/Silverman couple JUST vacation with his majesty Stern and the future Beth O'Stern?
Mr-Busy
HappyBlues
Posted 11:55 AM 15/7/08
I think She's hot... but imagine a full blown relationship! I hear ya' Jimmy.
HappyBlues
raincoaster
Posted 3:48 PM 15/7/08
@raincoaster: "was"* not "what," duh. I need a keyboard with actual letters on it!
raincoaster
raincoaster
Posted 3:47 PM 15/7/08
@enriquez the water bottle: and what the whiny girlfriend in School of Rock.
raincoaster
YourGoldKeith
Posted 10:49 PM 15/7/08
Two wretched and overly humorless people break up?!? Shouldn't we be celebrating?
YourGoldKeith
regisgoat
Posted 12:04 AM 16/7/08
It was a good thing in the sense that it made two people miserable instead of four. I sense that she'll get a rebound rematch with "Tiggles" (women sometimes turn to each other in times of stress or breakup, or so I've read in the supermarket line). The chemistry between them was electric in that episode.
Anyway, I'm glad she isn't standing on chairs and belting "The Winner Takes It All".
regisgoat
NoGrumpys
Posted 1:00 AM 16/7/08
@el smrtmnky:
"as written by the El Pollo Loco pitchman"
he's a bigger flame then the ones under the grill
NoGrumpys
CaveatLector
Posted 4:00 AM 16/7/08
Why did I think he was 'dating' SS while he was still married to his first wife? You get what you get.
CaveatLector
el smrtmnky
Posted 4:52 AM 16/7/08
and the the ex mrs. kimmel got a nice kitchen on HGTV
el smrtmnky