Dave McCormack love continues here at Defamer Australia. Just had a squizz at my new BFF's MySpazz blog and laughed my arse off at this entry.

Cooking and health on the road......

Current mood: hungry
Category: Food and Restaurants

Being a hugely successful rock star and media identity means a lot of travel. And travelling means grabbing whatever food you can, whenever you can. Over the years, I have developed many handy tips and tricks for eating right and feeling good on the road. After a sweaty gig and with a belly full of booze, it is tempting to head for the nearest kebab or burger or pizza or cheesecake. Instead, why not head straight back to the hotel room. Every hotel room contains all we need for a fully fledged rock and roll kitchen; a hairdryer, a jug for boiling water and an iron. With these handy implements and a bit of forethought, a tasty, nourishing midnight meal is only seconds away.
First thing to do is to get your hands on a nice leg of lamb. We all know lamb has been a celebrated dish for centuries - lamb is served at weddings in the Middle East, Jews love it for Passsover and it has been a Christian Easter favourite for longer than I can remember. Avoid mutton if possible. Good quality lamb is available all year round and you should have no problem getting a leg or two from the 7-11 as your drive back to the hotel in your Tarago after the gig.

Simply grab the lamb and push it neatly into the electric jug until it is in far enough to close the top. The lamb should make a tender squelching sound and be soft to the touch when it is fully enclosed. Turn the jug on and then run yourself a nice hot bath. By the time you pull your wrinkly soaked body from the tub, your lamb will be done to perfection. Feel free to chuck a few sprigs of rosemary and a bit of garlic in there with it for extra seasoning.

For those with a sweet tooth, simply grab some vanilla beans, some ripe figs, 3 tablespoons of cream and about 100ml (enough to cover a small baby's head) of Cognac or Armagnac. Get yourself a hotel pillow case (discard the pillow itself for now) and throw in all the ingredients. Lift the bulging sack above your head and swing it round like a helicopter rotor blade. When fully combined, open the end of the pillow case and give it a blast with the hairdryer (make sure it is set to maximum) for about 10 minutes. Allow to sit for 30 minutes and you will have a tradition rock and roll "soggy pillow" dessert. If you don't like the texture of uncooked figs, use poached figs. Nice.

Finally, for a meal in a second, grab some squid, 2 large tomatoes and some vermouth or white wine. From the cupboard, extract the ironing board and the little folder of information that you find in every hotel room. Remove some pages and spread the ingredients out, placing another page on top, a bit like a sandwich. Vigorously iron the mixture for about 5 minutes. Once again, the iron must be on maximum. Taste and adjust seasoning, sprinkle with parsley. Serve with sliced sourdough bread.

So there you have it. Using a little bit of knowledge and ingredients readily available from service stations, truck stops, adult novelty stores and convenience stores throughout the land, you will be the envy of all your band mates and fans.

Remember, cook responsibly.

Love,

David

The man is a genius.

 

Tags: au | cooking with the stars | dave mccormack | myspazz