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The Defamer Guide To The Whole Madonna / A-Rod / Lenny Kravitz Situation
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:45 AM on July 4, 2008
If you've looked at the Internet at all this past week, you've probably gleaned that there's something going on with Madonna, Guy Ritchie, A-Rod and, most recently, Lenny Kravitz. A lot has happened in a very short time and, quite possibly, many of you haven't been able to keep up. But don't feel ashamed, that's what we're here for! Just read our handy dandy guide to the action after the jump and you'll have plenty to talk about at your 4th of July BBQ.
· Towards the end of June, reports started surfacing that Madonna and Guy Ritchie were getting a divorce.
· Soon after, it came out that Madonna was having an affair with A-Rod, a married baseball player on the much-hated Yankees. Madonna's publicist issued a denial, which means that it's totally true.
· Then, it was reported that A-Rod's wife, Cynthia Rodriguez, was "spending a lot of time" with Lenny Kravitz, who, coincidentally, has also banged Madonna.
· And to top it all off, today, announcements surfaced that A-Rod and his wife were separating, thereby adding credence to both the Madonna rumours and the Lenny Kravitz rumors.
See, it's not that complicated after all. And it looks like everybody's getting what they want in the end. Madonna's got A-Rod, C-Rod's got Lenny Kravitz, and Guy Ritchie... well, he's got his mildly successful film career. Hooray!
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
EuroDad
Posted 10:45 AM 4/7/08
@Losin_it:
maybe she ends up w/ Guy Ritchie; a nice little bookend on the trifecta
EuroDad
Losin_it
Posted 10:37 AM 4/7/08
Meanwhile, does no one care how Lisa Bonet is reacting to all of this?
Losin_it
EuroDad
Posted 10:16 AM 4/7/08
ummm, i'll take C-Rod over Madonna anyday
EuroDad
Scoregasm
Posted 10:01 AM 4/7/08
Even if it's over, they'll always have Kabbalah. Hold fast to your Jewish mystic dream!
Scoregasm
Old No.7
Posted 10:01 AM 4/7/08
This sounds like a wonderful idea for a show on CBS that I'll never watch.
Old No.7
WGARefugee
Posted 9:57 AM 4/7/08
The whole experience sounds pretty overwhelming, for their crabs.
WGARefugee
el smrtmnky
Posted 11:14 AM 4/7/08
madonna was just hoping to snag the two rodriguez kids in the affair
el smrtmnky
SanFranBetsu
Posted 11:48 AM 4/7/08
They don't call her 'Madge the Vag' for nothin'!
Cynthia Rodriguez got the best of that deal.
SanFranBetsu
MrRewrite
Posted 2:11 PM 4/7/08
wait, if the linds gets her singing and hetero mojo back, she can go out with guy, i'm pretty sure. have her people call guy's peeps
MrRewrite
MrRewrite
Posted 2:19 PM 4/7/08
omg, i forgot to end with 'in bed'...and it would have been apropos too
MrRewrite
Reason
Posted 5:50 PM 4/7/08
@SanFranBetsu: Really? I think Guy is coming out of this smelling the best. Literally.
Reason
fractal_elves
Posted 11:32 PM 4/7/08
Lenny Kravitz just said in a statement he's just helping out a friend by letting her stay in his Paris apartment. I think this is what happened:
Madge and ARod are having an affair; CRod hit her last draw, split town and holed up with LK, who's a genuine friend. Guy Ritchie came to NY to have a 3-some.
fractal_elves
bichon
Posted 12:30 AM 5/7/08
I'm w/ CRod, much much nicer than Madge but perhaps ARod just a star-fucker. Maybe they're all just stupid.
bichon
Losin_it
Posted 2:24 AM 5/7/08
Today the media is informing us that A-Rod is being "brainwashed" by Maddona and her knowledge of Kabbalah. I call bullshit on this story--I find it very unlikely that A-Hole actually a brain that can be washed.
When most wives leave their husbands, they stay with their parents in Queens or their sister in The Bronx. Not C-Rod. It's Lenny Kravitz and Paris for her.
Losin_it
"Good" Crazy...
Posted 10:38 AM 5/7/08
... that last bit was a bit off for Defamer I know, but his movies after Lock.. and Snatch are frankly mediocre at best. Madge, you kicked ass for a good long time and deserve your respect, but I get a frightening premonition that you'll somehow drift musically into Vocoder-Cher territory in the end.
If nothing else, i suppose we should totally harass them to tears as payback for Swept Away.
They just totally raped a jewel of a foriegn film, really raped it.
"Good" Crazy...
"Good" Crazy...
Posted 10:22 AM 5/7/08
Blah blah.. Oh Lenny Kravitz, err, just as a mutual ex-fuckfriend blah blah...
Team Couldn't Care Less.
"Good" Crazy...
charles_barrett
Posted 11:14 AM 5/7/08
So I guess the historic high-water mark for Madonna and Guy's colaborative union will be an ad for a BMW sedan a year or two ago...??? Well, the lack of a prenup would seem to imply Guy will be laughing all the way to the bank...
charles_barrett
mr hotpants
Posted 7:15 PM 5/7/08
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought I saw somewhere that Madonna and Guy don't have a pre-nup. He doesn't seem douchey enough to make a big spectacle of things but I kind of hope she gets taken to the cleaners. And whatever happened to the Malawian boy? Did she keep him?
Either way, A-Rod is going to get his ass handed to him in court...get ready to fork over a shitload of money in sweet, sweet alimony.
mr hotpants
JacobFreeze
Posted 8:07 AM 6/7/08
Madge wins, because all the laws of the Universe demand that Madge always wins, and A-Rod is just a silly puppet of the Tzimtzum!
JacobFreeze
CourageousCoward
Posted 2:49 AM 8/7/08
@yoko: Privacywatch sightings belong where, class?
CourageousCoward
yoko
Posted 2:39 AM 8/7/08
@Losin_it: As luck would have it I saw Lisa Bonet in a restaurant in Boulder, Colorado this past weekend. She was be-dreadlocked, clad in a voluminous sheaves of gray organic cotton, and wearing wire-frame sunglasses. She appears to still be a hippie.
yoko
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 3:23 AM 8/7/08
Some how, some way Sienna Miller is involved in this.
Little Mintz Sunshine
yoko
Posted 4:09 AM 8/7/08
@CourageousCoward: Boulder, CO counts? Sorry. I thought only Aspen & Vail were the only two map dots eligible in flyover country. Where are my manners?!
yoko
CourageousCoward
Posted 5:56 AM 8/7/08
@yoko: You missed my point, but I missed what you were actually responding to as Losin_It had two posts. (Your response seemed totally irrelevant to the one post and read more like a Celeb Privacywatch comment.)
CourageousCoward