Tatum O’Neal Ticketed $95 For Trying To Spend Twice That On Crack

Rescued from the precipice by the courageous members of NYPD’s Anti ‘Former Child Stars Trying To Score in a Park From Some Homeless Dude ‘ Vice Squad, Tatum O’Neal has finally learned what her sentence will be for trying to drown her Scottie-losing sorrows in the arms of her former lover, crack. Brace yourselves. This is not pretty:

Tatum O’Neal has pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with her June cocaine possession arrest in lower Manhattan.

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Elisa Koenderman (KEN’-dehr-man) has ordered the 44-year-old actress to spend two half-day sessions in a drug treatment program and pay a $95 surcharge.

Thanks, AP! We almost read that as KONE-dur-muhn, which would have totally miscolored our perception of this sentencing as having been yet another example of a famous white person evading justice.

• Tatum O’Neal Pleads Guilty to Disorderly Conduct [AP]