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Still Pregnant Angelina Jolie Demands Salmon, Refuses To Shower; Twins Understandably Stay Put
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:25 AM on July 11, 2008
It seems that Nice's favourite "very, very nice" patient and her well-appointed womb has taken a turn toward Grumpyville. Nearing the end of her seemingly endless gestation period, Angelina Jolie has grown tired of her hospital/hotel and its Michelin Star-less menu and has started demanding that salmon be brought in from other Clooney-approved restaurants. And, more ominously, reports have surfaced that Jolie has abandoned her strict one-shower-a-day regimen. A collective gasp...
It's been a week since the hoards of press gathered at the Jolie-approved press conference to learn that nothing has happened, is happening, will happen for "weeks to come." And without vital information such as this, the media was forced to gather these stories from the next best source: disgruntled hospital staff.
"I think she's in meltdown mode. She's been getting upset if there's not enough ice in her glass."
To be fair, an adequate amount of ice, a perfect drink makes.
But far worse, Jolie has abandoned her typical Jolie behaviour like tatoo-ing Mr. Jolie's back or proudly commending Maddox on his Charlton Heston-y ways and instead, has morphed into some sort of mousy-haired housewife from Kansas:
She's not walking around anymore. She doesn't even take a shower early in the morning. She just stays in bed, talking on her phone, typing on her computer, reading magazines and watching TV.
Luckily, Jolie will soon return to her Benetton-approved family and enjoy adequately iced beverages because the World's Most Important Pregnancy is scheduled to conclude via c-section on Tuesday.
"Shit," said the unborn twins.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Lala11_7
Posted 5:20 AM 11/7/08
@Old No.7: Ever since Brad hooked up with Angie...all of the intrigue, interest and sexiness has been sucked out of his body, like money from any ATM machine I use...
His level of "hotness" depletion corresponds perfectly with each child that joins their household...I figure after these next two, Brad Pitt will have all of the seductive attractiveness of the senior aged fry cook that works at the McDonald's near my home...
Lala11_7
majikthise
Posted 5:20 AM 11/7/08
it says she stopped taking showers "early in the morning" - not "she stopped taking showers - period" so what? i shower at night, big effen deal . .
majikthise
hummingpenguin
Posted 5:19 AM 11/7/08
@RocketRockit: Yeah, I'm not a fan of hers, but she gets a pass for bad behavior after this 18-month pregnancy.
hummingpenguin
raghead
Posted 5:19 AM 11/7/08
@Old No.7:
Best Freudian slip ever. What? Bitch is so full of herself. Have kids in Namibia, I'd like to see her try that shit in Compton.
raghead
Leviticus_71
Posted 5:11 AM 11/7/08
@Old No.7: HA! I just got that. I was just wondering who's belly was bigger.
Leviticus_71
RocketRockit
Posted 5:11 AM 11/7/08
If I was hauling around two little beasts in my belly, you can bet your bottom dollar I would have stopped showering 6 months ago.
RocketRockit
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 5:07 AM 11/7/08
@Hubert Cumberdale: *glass. Fuck.
Hubert Cumberdale
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 5:07 AM 11/7/08
If she gave me any shit about the level of ice in her class, I'd punch her smugass right in the stomach. I really would.
Hubert Cumberdale
Old No.7
Posted 5:05 AM 11/7/08
Brad looks like shit in that photo. Stress kills!
Old No.7
heidiho
Posted 5:02 AM 11/7/08
She doesn't even take a shower early in the morning. She just stays in bed, talking on her phone, typing on her computer, reading magazines and watching TV.
Isn't that also called Sunday?
heidiho
kookla
Posted 4:59 AM 11/7/08
If she's not showering anymore, then she fits in perfectly in France. Yeah, I went there.
kookla
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 4:58 AM 11/7/08
Moo.
Hubert Cumberdale
strega
Posted 6:10 AM 11/7/08
What the hell does Clooney have to do with this or did he donate the sperm and blame Pitt?
strega
Victor Ward
Posted 5:52 AM 11/7/08
I would kill to live that life (minus the pregnancy and possibly alleged not showering at all).
Victor Ward
pumpkinsoup
Posted 6:32 AM 11/7/08
Egads. She's in the hospital, on bed rest, and she's NOT getting up to take a SHOWER. Alert the media. Oh wait...
pumpkinsoup
crackbabyjesus
Posted 6:19 AM 11/7/08
@raghead:
Hopefully she isn't using up the only hospital in the damn city like she did last time. God forbid some poor Namibian woman was about to pop one out at the same time-homegirl took over the entire effing hospital. She couldn't be more of a narcissist. Blech.
crackbabyjesus
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 6:54 AM 11/7/08
@pureblarney: I'm pregnant with twins right now. In yo' face!
Hubert Cumberdale
pureblarney
Posted 6:41 AM 11/7/08
Apparently none of you has ever been pregnant, let alone with twins.
@Hubert Cumberdale: Especially you. Please to be not making jokes about punching unborn babies. Srsly.
pureblarney
Stubs
Posted 5:02 AM 11/7/08
maybe she's not showering to be like Brad. I hear for how hot he is he smells like ass
Stubs
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 7:24 AM 11/7/08
Salmon?!? Bed rest?!? What this girl needs is Mexican food and a fast car ride.
Little Mintz Sunshine
Truculent
Posted 7:12 AM 11/7/08
Ewwww. Unwashed and eating fish in bed. El Stinko!
Truculent
raincoaster
Posted 6:30 PM 11/7/08
I was born in France, so I feel quite comfortable saying that not showering daily is just going to make her better-loved by locals. They don't trust people who don't smell.
Trust me.
raincoaster
Sophieindeed
Posted 12:30 AM 14/7/08
Um, when you're 2000 months pregnant, with twins, having sharp pains every ten minutes the last few weeks of your pregnancy (yeah, the stuff they don't tell you about pregnancy) along with crazy heartburn, you should be expected to not be irritable and just be as mobile as usual.
Sophieindeed
Shazzer
Posted 7:51 PM 14/7/08
I've lived in Europe for more than six years now and I have yet to see an adequate amount of ice in any drink that I didn't make myself. Nice to know I'm in such good company.
Shazzer