Shirley MacLaine Wishes She’d Killed Elisabeth Hasselbeck In A Past Life

By Seth on July 23, 2008 at 8:00 AM

Today, friends, is one that brings us deep concern for the ladies of The View. First, we learned that outspoken pro-life activist Sherri Shepherd “had more abortions than I would like to count.” (How many, we wonder, would she have had no problem with counting?) Then came this uncomfortable exchange between veteran nutjob Shirley MacLaine—who, let’s face it, hasn’t been playing with a full Mah Jong set since somewhere around the Hoover administration—and Elisabeth Hasselbeck:

Segueing effortlessly from some light daytime TV chatter about what made Adolph Hitler tick, Hasselbeck then introduces the topic of Radionics. Radionics is a fringe health voodoo supposedly subscribed to by MacLaine that believes you can cure people from afar using a fancy machine and samples of “urine, sterile water, spores, dogs hair”—basically anything cleared out of Rosie O’Donnell’s dressing room shower drain after her huffy departure. Pressed on for specifics (”Is it just like a really hairy smoothie?”), MacLaine—who can barely keep track of any dozen of the literally hundreds of quack practices that fill up her busy transmogrification schedule at any one time—finally cut the persistent yapper off with one tug of an invisible choke collar, saying, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Which, as you may or may not know, is merely reincarnationist speak for, “Drop it now, or I’ll squash you like the little potato gnat that you are in the next life, honey.”

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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • AnnahRyche
    July 24, 2008 at 12:50 AM

    Maybe this Albert Abrams( the inventor of this Radonic thing)dude should have hooked up with L Rob Hubbard. (creator of the e-meter)

    Who knows what would have happened then!!!

    Permalink Reply
  • Chad Weswick
    May 3, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a waste of skin. When will she die and go away?

    Permalink Reply

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