RSS Feeds
Shirley MacLaine Wishes She'd Killed Elisabeth Hasselbeck In A Past Life
Posted by Seth at 8:00 AM on July 23, 2008
Today, friends, is one that brings us deep concern for the ladies of The View. First, we learned that outspoken pro-life activist Sherri Shepherd "had more abortions than I would like to count." (How many, we wonder, would she have had no problem with counting?) Then came this uncomfortable exchange between veteran nutjob Shirley MacLaine—who, let's face it, hasn't been playing with a full Mah Jong set since somewhere around the Hoover administration—and Elisabeth Hasselbeck:
Today, friends, is one that brings us deep concern for the ladies of The View. First, we learned that outspoken pro-life activist Sherri Shepherd
Segueing effortlessly from some light daytime TV chatter about what made Adolph Hitler tick, Hasselbeck then introduces the topic of Radionics. Radionics is a fringe health voodoo supposedly subscribed to by MacLaine that believes you can cure people from afar using a fancy machine and samples of "urine, sterile water, spores, dogs hair"—basically anything cleared out of Rosie O'Donnell's dressing room shower drain after her huffy departure. Pressed on for specifics ("Is it just like a really hairy smoothie?"), MacLaine—who can barely keep track of any dozen of the literally hundreds of quack practices that fill up her busy transmogrification schedule at any one time—finally cut the persistent yapper off with one tug of an invisible choke collar, saying, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Which, as you may or may not know, is merely reincarnationist speak for, "Drop it now, or I'll squash you like the little potato gnat that you are in the next life, honey."
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
AnnahRyche
Posted July 24, 2008 12:50 AM
Maybe this Albert Abrams( the inventor of this Radonic thing)dude should have hooked up with L Rob Hubbard. (creator of the e-meter)
Who knows what would have happened then!!!
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 10:07 AM 23/7/08
Sadly for America, Sherri's mother missed the cut-off(out?) date.
Little Mintz Sunshine
blue lanugo
Posted 8:57 AM 23/7/08
I'm going to ask for a dog hair and urine "boost" in my next Razmattazz
blue lanugo
EuroDad
Posted 8:50 AM 23/7/08
@mothrafairy:
wait, are you saying she's an idiot or cheap and easy? eh, you say potato...
EuroDad
kookla
Posted 8:49 AM 23/7/08
I would never know to avoid The View if it weren't for these awesome posts. Keep up the good work!
kookla
Old No.7
Posted 8:39 AM 23/7/08
Since Sherri thinks the world is flat, I'm guessing her math counting skills end with the five plump little sausages on her right hand.
Old No.7
mothrafairy
Posted 8:38 AM 23/7/08
Seriously, it takes a real idiot to blithely admit in public to "countless" abortions in an age when birth control has been cheap and easy to come by...just like Sherri herself, coincidentally.
mothrafairy
taraniso
Posted 8:26 AM 23/7/08
If only Kathy Griffin had been on! Elizabeth is a-scared of Oscar winners.
taraniso
OldTowneTavern
Posted 8:19 AM 23/7/08
I don't know how you people can watch The View. I'd rather hear Ben Lyons' ruminations on Last Year in Marienbad.
OldTowneTavern
Mel Gibstein
Posted 8:14 AM 23/7/08
Books about Piss-Flavored Slurpees? Pondering "Great Hitler Mysteries"? Pancakey-ironed face?
I miss Brando.
Mel Gibstein
LLH
Posted 8:13 AM 23/7/08
so wait, shirley is pulling a "million little pieces" on us? only she doesn't remember what she "researched" or "wrote" in "her" book? NICE one!
LLH
metroville
Posted 8:13 AM 23/7/08
I'm willing to bet that Muppet Lady doesn't like to count anything.
metroville
VanMorrisonFan
Posted 8:12 AM 23/7/08
Maybe Starbucks or Jamba Juice will offer this health concoction for all to enjoy!
VanMorrisonFan
roxybebop
Posted 11:42 AM 23/7/08
@Little Mintz Sunshine: aaaaah!
roxybebop
raincoaster
Posted 12:55 PM 23/7/08
@EuroDad: With her, it's really not either/or.
raincoaster
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 1:23 PM 23/7/08
@roxybebop: That was my safety as being a honky I'm not able to channel the great Samuel L. Jackson by stating "Sherri's got more excuses than a niggah going to jail".
Little Mintz Sunshine
MrsBurden
Posted 12:13 AM 24/7/08
If anyone is interested, homeopathic medicine is made in a similar manner to what is being described. If you've ever used homeopathic remedies, you'll know that they work! And on babies, too, who don't fall victim to the placebo effect. I think Shirley just realized that stupid Hasselbeck was trying to make her out to be a freakshow, and shut her down.
And if you're going to talk about ingesting stuff made from icky things, let's talk about Premarin, mmm-kay? Thanks.
MrsBurden
kylo4
Posted 12:04 AM 24/7/08
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is capable of annoying me the way no one else can. I cannot stand her at all.
kylo4
Losin_it
Posted 12:56 AM 24/7/08
@MrsBurden: I don't think the science behind homeopathic remedies is actually all that solid, anecdotal experience aside. People should probably tread carefully where actual evidence in these things is lacking.
Losin_it
spanktastic
Posted 1:11 AM 24/7/08
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is proof positive, that it takes no talent to be a host on the View. Do your homework before you regurgitate what's on a card. (Wouldn't you love to be the intern writing her cards?!!!)
It was clear her motive was to make Crazy Lady look even more crazy except crazy turned the tables and made Lizzy look even more like a fool.
spanktastic
Oxycontinmoron
Posted 2:07 AM 24/7/08
Shirley needs to sell crazy someplace else. They're ALL FULL up in the View!
Oxycontinmoron
Gallant Patsy
Posted 3:10 AM 24/7/08
'basically anything cleared out of Rosie's shower...'
brilliant, but maybe a little too close the hairy smoothie for my taste.
Gallant Patsy