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Reality TV Takes Turn For Worse, Goes To Dogs
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:50 AM on July 12, 2008
This is the true story of twelve competitors, picked to live a house, compete in elimination challenges and have their lives taped, to find out what happens, when dogs stop being polite and start getting real. Yes, canines are the newest craze in reality television, and frankly, it's about time. Who wants to watch overly-tanned, underly-informed humans panting and smelling competitors asses, when you have the opportunity - no, privilege - to watch dogs do it? For a full 30 minutes! Allow CBS to present Greatest American Dog.
After the network deemed the unsuccessful runs of Pirate Master and Kid Nation too high brow for American viewers, Greatest American Dog will surely become the feather in its cap. GAD is a brilliant idea, because there's nothing more riveting than simultaneously playing ball with your dog while watching someone play ball with his dog on national television!
Each week, the lovable pups and their owners compete in a Dog Bone Challenge. The winner gets extra-special kibble served in their luxury suite, while the loser must 'ruff' it in the outdoor dog house. How compelling! Of course, no show can claim to be a reality show without including an elimination challenge, because elimination challenges are real. Each week, the dogs and owners are asked to perform in a Best In Show Challenge in front of a panel of distinguished judges. And if little Moochie or Hadley can't raise a paw on command, then he can kiss that future appearance on I Love New York goodbye. And, unfortunately, last night Michael and Boston terrier Esmerelda (call her Ezzie!) were sent to the dogs.
The last dog standing walks away with the title Greatest American Dog and $250,000, presumably to purchase a life-long (8 years!) supply of pig's ears and Peanut Puppers. Of course, with instant fame comes inevitable heartbreak, and our once floppy-eared pal will end up spending his days licking himself and doing meth. Or worse, he'll end up in a sex tape with one of Hilton's mutts.
- Greatest American Dog [CBS]
- Snap Judgement: CBS'Greatest American Dog [E! Online]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
MAVERICK
Posted September 16, 2008 3:09 PM
Laugh as you will about the 'riveting' nature of training dogs - but I for one really enjoyed this series.
A lot of the things were crap, but it gave me some inspiration in a lot of areas of my own dogs' training. (for all of you detractors, how do YOU think your dog would handle an elephant running at them, or traversing an elevated balance beam.)
For me, it didn't show so much as specific dog abilities/training, more the bond the owners enjoyed with their dogs, and the unquestioning obedience from their pets.
10/10 from me.
Desk_hack
Posted 7:35 AM 12/7/08
This doesn't hold a candle to Puppy Bowl.
Desk_hack
franimaljones
Posted 7:23 AM 12/7/08
Good LORD. Here come the Visigoths to conquer our civilization.
franimaljones
el smrtmnky
Posted 7:20 AM 12/7/08
went to a party last week and one of the housepets and its owner were there. the host asked if i wanted to meet the dog and i said, 'no, i want to meet the owner.'
'because he's hot?'the host asked.
'No. i just want to experience the crazy.'
el smrtmnky
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 7:17 AM 12/7/08
@Huge Tracts of Land: And smarter, definitely.
Tiger_Tanaka
Old No.7
Posted 7:07 AM 12/7/08
This looks like a very entertaining show.
FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!
Old No.7
kookla
Posted 6:58 AM 12/7/08
$250K? Where do I get a dog costume?
kookla
Huge Tracts of Land
Posted 6:54 AM 12/7/08
More butt sniffing than an episode of A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila? Maybe less.
Huge Tracts of Land
BoHan
Posted 8:01 AM 12/7/08
I dunno. It's kind've like some sort of hilariously weird satire of "Project Runway," right down to the judges and the shocking elimination of Ezzie the Boston, when it was overwhelmingly clear one of the untalented, over-dressed poodles needed to go. Therefore, I enjoyed it. But I was also drunk and made my Boston pour drinks for me.
BoHan
mothrafairy
Posted 7:45 AM 12/7/08
I would say that we've got ourselves a case of poor writing all the way around.
mothrafairy
gangrenejean
Posted 7:42 AM 12/7/08
@Old No.7: oooooh, you beat me to it!
gangrenejean
Losin_it
Posted 8:40 AM 12/7/08
Let the doggie drama and behind-the-scenes backstabbing begin. Pretty soon Rover will be getting thrown over the bus by a really pissed off Pomeranian.
Losin_it
mhedgesjr
Posted 9:11 AM 12/7/08
BoHan, I think you should try to get on this show, where you can demonstrate why you feel your dog's ability to fellate you qualifies it as America's greatest dog. I don't know what type of dog you have, but I have the utmost confidence that you've been successful in training it to deepthroat your unusually diminutive genitalia (which reportedly has been mistaken for an atypically large clitoris by many a male suitor). And while man's best friend taps your taint with its tail, you can regale the judges with one of your profound soliloquies on any of the wide variety of subjects in which you are a self proclaimed expert.
I figure it happens nightly anyway, so you may as well use it to expand the audience of people on whom you generously impart your unsolicited and inane opinion. It would also provide you with a forum to showcase your Masters in Verbal Diarrhea, earned while studying abroad at "Boca de Mierda Universidad".
mhedgesjr
BoHan
Posted 9:42 AM 12/7/08
@mhedgesjr: Lord. What goes around comes around. McAleer, stop it!
BoHan
Losin_it
Posted 10:20 AM 12/7/08
@mhedgesjr: You are glib, Earthling. You have a way with words.
Losin_it
Cacafuego
Posted 11:08 AM 12/7/08
Excuse me, that should read "I would rather watch dogs THAN people."
Cacafuego
Cacafuego
Posted 11:07 AM 12/7/08
Hey, I would rather watch dogs that people. At least the dogs can't help it.
Cacafuego
raincoaster
Posted 3:52 PM 12/7/08
@mhedgesjr: You obviously don't understand what makes anyone or anything popular.
raincoaster
BoHan
Posted 4:08 PM 13/7/08
a href="#c6640826">mhedgesjr:Yo dude or dudette, if you're going to flame (via a convenient fake commenter nickname that won't really execute you completely), the small penis insult is fu*king boring, like some Word Micosoft Template, which you can click on right after the opening of "MS word, file, new, open, templates, "casual boring f*cking flame.", and which always signals the mark of an amateur. Snooze. Your and your video mistress gang bore me. Get original.Thanks Raincoaster. I miss BC and you, especially when it's 110 degrees in the shade in Southern hell. Say hello to Hez for me. I want a booby-squeeze from that hot chick, so let me know when the LaBatt party starts in the West End.
BoHan
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 8:34 AM 14/7/08
Mhedgesjr has no friends.
Tiger_Tanaka