Not Even A Boob Reduction Can Help Jordan Fit In With The Snooty Inhabitants Of The Polo World

Tragic news from the United Kingdom, with revelations in the Daily Mail that Australia’s favourite daughter-in-law, the cantastic and currently brunette Jordan, has recently been the victim of a hurtful snub by members of the polo world, with the snotty horse-loving bastards deciding she is simply too “chav” for their social engagements. But she had her rack size reduced! She’s not blonde anymore! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM HER?!

The reality TV star has been banned from the most prestigious event in the polo calendar because, insiders say, she is simply ‘too chavvy’.

Jordan – now a bestselling author, albeit one who doesn’t actually write her own books – is said to be ‘incredibly upset’ after she was told she would not be welcome at today’s exclusive Cartier International Polo contest in Windsor.

The snub comes despite her self-made wealth and her ardent love of horses. She has always been a keen rider and learned to play polo earlier this year.

Katie Price, as she now prefers to be known, believes she is the victim of a personal vendetta after being denied access to the event at the Guards Polo Club, where The Prince of Wales Team will play Hurlingham for The Golden Jubilee Trophy and England will take on Australia for the Coronation Cup, presented by Prince Charles.

An anti-Jordan conspiracy? Well, I never.

Last night the model’s agent Claire Powell said: ‘It’s true, Cartier didn’t want Katie there. We cannot understand it because Katie has worked with Cartier before. She’s been in the presence of Royalty before; she’s met the Queen and appeared at the Royal Variety Performance. It’s a big shock and Katie is incredibly upset.

‘It wasn’t about her wanting to mingle with the rich and famous, it’s because she’s a fan of the sport.

‘We can only assume that someone has got it in for Katie. She thinks it’s really sad. She’s worked hard to transform her image.’

Hunt them down and kill them, Katie. Or dance the anger out, Flight Of The Conchords style.

In other news -

(I’m so sorry)