Seemingly even before the virtual newsprint ink had dried on some of the most shameless punning headlines in recent memory - "Kerr-Splat", "Kerr-Bloom Kerr-Put", "Love's Bloom Is Lost" - it seems that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom's apparent split (and further, her alleged seeking of solace in the arms of Brandon "Oily Peanut Butter Elvis" Davis) was little more than a scurrilous rumour.

We know this because Miranda's little brother has come out guns blazing!

22-year-old Matthew Kerr is in a solid position to denounce the rumours - he was with his famous sister when she was chatting to Davis at the venue.

"We were just out with a few other friends from Australia having a good time and we bumped into Brandon while we were at 10ak," Matthew said.

"They have been friends for a while and we just said hi, chatted for a bit and that was it," he said.

"There definitely wasn't any kissing - nothing could be further from the truth."

As though that wasn't enough, Mama Kerr then also poured cold water on the rumours, mentioning casually that Bloom and Kerr were about to spend a romantic holiday in Paris (the Gallic paparazzo contingent no doubt thanks her for the heads up).

However, not to be outdone, the Daily Telegraph and news.com.au found the time to squeeze in one last double whammy of punning excellence, with the titles of these linked-in galleries:

# Pictures: Kerriffic
# Pictures: Phwoarlando

Thank you, Daily Telegraph, for keeping the dream alive.

 

Tags: au | celeb non-breakups | miranda kerr | orlando bloom | puntastic!