While health inspectors may have fallen head over heels in love with Pixar's restaurant impresario "Little Chef", it seems they can't stomach a vermin infestation at mold-friendly Newsroom Cafe. The eatery, favoured by pseudo vegetarian starlets, went from achieving average status to full-blown suspension in a shake of a rat's tail. The restaurant is understandably befuddled after receiving the notice of closure since the soup-diving, steak tartare-preparing rats appeared so lovable on screen. But, the now relevantly monikered establishment plans to turn things around.

Newsroom's course of action to once again regain its status as the official celebu-haunt serving overpriced, mildly edible fare is radical, if not brilliant. The Verminators won't be needed here. Instead, we hear that Paris Hilton will be outfitted with a bullhorn, and her adorably, giggly, child-like voice will lure the rats away from the restaurant to the nearest production company, where one lucky rat will compete to become her new BFF. The losers will be killed and fed to her army of chihuahuas.

• Newsroom Cafe: I Smell A Rat [TMZ.com]