Miley Cyrus (’Slut!’) And Seven Other Casting Ideas For MTV’s ‘Rocky Horror’ Remake

As we briefly touched upon a post or so ago, MTV has announced they’ll be producing a remake of midnight movie classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which struck us as a slightly less onerous addition to our ever-growing End of Ideas library. (Perhaps it was the delightful image of a whole new generation of Rocky disciples chanting, “Lips! Lips! Lips!” in anticipation of Audrina Patridge’s ladyparts’ soulful rendition of “Science Fiction, Double Feature” that did it.) Variety has the details:

Lou Adler, exec producer of the original film, is partnering with BermanBraun and Fox Television Studios on the new rendition. Two-hour remake will use the original screenplay by Jim Sharman and Richard O’Brien but may also include music not featured in the original.
“I’d like to see it shown a year from this coming Halloween, but that’s up to MTV,” Adler said.

Our casting ideas after the jump!

Keeping mindful of MTV’s youth-skewed, pop-star-friendly demographic, we did some brainstorming and came up with the following suggestions for all the principal roles. No need to thank us; we do it only for the joy it brings you, in addition to our regular industry-standard casting fees and contingencies, due in full upon delivery.

Frank N Furter: Seth Green. Excels at every genre; has the drag and dismemberment experience from Disco Bloodbath.
Brad: Zac Efron. Kind or a no-brainer. Just give him a pair of Buddy Hollys and a silk robe and let him do his thing.
Janet: Miley Cyrus. She can convincingly convey Ms. Weiss’s journey from churchgoing virgin to touch-a touch-a touch-a slutbag.
Magenta: Pink. Same colour family—close enough.
Riff Raff: Pete Wentz. Just creepily calculated enough. Will likely be bald in the next few years if he keeps relaxing his hair.
Columbia: Kelly Osbourne. Suitably Betty Boopish.
Eddie: Jack Black. He’s our Meatloaf. There is no one else.
Dr. Everett Von Scott: James Lipton. We know he has fishnets on underneath that Inside the Actor’s Studio desk.
Rocky: Madonna. Bruce Vilanch. Levi Alves McConaughey. Or anyone besides Mario Lopez, who’s currently doing gravity-boot crunches and demanding over speaker phone that his agent get him an audition.

• MTV readies ‘Rocky Horror’ redux [Variety]