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Matthew 'Matty Cakes' Broderick Caught Red-Handed While Cheating, But Does SJP Really Care?
Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:05 AM on July 25, 2008
Unlike most adulterous celebrity scandals, the latest claim that Most Awkward On-Screen Sex Partner Matthew Broderick has pulled a Beckham / Phillippe / Hawke by getting involved in a long-term affair with a 25-year old redhead is actually filled to the brim with hilariously kinky details. The Star exclusive includes all sorts of juicy and slightly nauseating allegations, making Pat O'Brien's "I want to fucking eat you!" sweet nothings seem tame in comparison. As sad as any remaining fans of Ferris may be to hear it, the mag's sources claim newly mole-less SJP's hubby is fond of popping 'round his do-gooder mistress' bedroom, darting out after 30 minutes, and leaving the girl "passed out on her bed in her panties." But is this really so shocking? After the jump, we cover the many times Parker has hinted that the long-married couple has serious issues, from her comments that he's always "secretly manipulating you," to the time she confessed she just adores seeing him "have great chemistry" with other women:
Beginning in 2001, when she forgot to thank her husband during her Best Actress speech at the Golden Globes, Parker has been blabbing to many a tab about just how "treacherous" her 11-year marriage is. Just two years ago, she said in an interview, "I feel bad that he's not on the market...He's just getting to his prime and I'm holding him back. Every now and then I see him with a woman and she's really smart and beautiful and I'm like, 'God they have great chemistry. They'd be great together.'" Not to mention her recent delight in telling NY Mag that he "doesn't have enough friends." Ultimately, the fact that Broderick has been trysting all over town making late-night visits to the mystery woman's bedroom (and lasting 30 minutes, no less!) sounds like a dream come true for SJP. All her wishes have come true: on the market? Check. More friends? Nailed one. Plus, her remark in the same NYM piece that "Broderick says, 'That's your fault!' when he sees a thong poking up from low-slung jeans" must feel oh-so-satisfying. Parker can even claim responsibility for Matty Cakes' newfound happiness inside those thongs he apparently stares at every time they leave the house together!
[Photo credit: Splash]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
el smrtmnky
Posted 8:06 AM 25/7/08
i just love how the mags have to state that it's a 25-year old woman
el smrtmnky
OldTowneTavern
Posted 7:41 AM 25/7/08
@Victor Ward: I'm with you Victor. She seems like a great gal.
OldTowneTavern
showboat
Posted 7:38 AM 25/7/08
Why is this story here? If Matty B were stepping out on SJP to hook up with a Joan's on Third waitress behind the Marty Tregnan Golf Academy, then I could understand why this was on Defamer. This is clearly NY-centric Gawker material.
showboat
GuyBitchy
Posted 7:16 AM 25/7/08
@WGARefugee: Ha-ha! Spot on.
GuyBitchy
Greasy Thumb Guzik
Posted 7:01 AM 25/7/08
@Old No.7:
If SJP's sire was Mr. Ed, who was her dam?
Greasy Thumb Guzik
Readsforaliving
Posted 6:59 AM 25/7/08
@Little Mintz Sunshine: John Wilkes...Broderick. Oh, that made laugh. Of course, the name they did give him is no less dorky, although slightly less...menacing.
Readsforaliving
MCU
Posted 6:54 AM 25/7/08
I'm not sure SJP could get back onto the dating scene. And I mean that in an I-don't-mean-to-judge but it-takes-two-to-tango sort of way.
MCU
Old No.7
Posted 6:52 AM 25/7/08
Can't blame him. Horsemeat is notoriously tough.
Old No.7
NoGrumpys
Posted 6:49 AM 25/7/08
...seems like Nathan Lane is rubbing off on him
...it is contagious you know
wouldn't be funny if Matty Cakes was doing it with a stable hand...?!
NoGrumpys
PersonOfInterest
Posted 6:44 AM 25/7/08
I don't care about either of them, but it is always disappointing when people use affairs to end their marriages. Can't you just get a divorce first?
PersonOfInterest
Victor Ward
Posted 6:43 AM 25/7/08
Who knew that this weekend, while in Manhattan on Perry street singing "Sarah can you hear me" in the least creepy way possible, all of this had been going on?
I'm not typically one to defend a celebrity, but in every interview I've seen, she's been the most polite and endearing little thing I can imagine.
I hope she kicks his ass.
Victor Ward
Kerfuffled
Posted 6:37 AM 25/7/08
@Little Mintz Sunshine: Gawd, can you imagine SJP on the dating scene? That would be far too cruel for the entertainment-viewing public.
Kerfuffled
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 6:34 AM 25/7/08
I'm going to wish them the best in salvaging their allegedly horrendous relationship for the sake of their child. Frankly, I don't really care too much about little John Wilkes, I just don't want to hear SJP prattle on anymore about dating, etc.
Little Mintz Sunshine
TryThisAtHome
Posted 6:31 AM 25/7/08
"After meeting in a bar, Matthew began text messaging the 25-year-old youth counselor, says the woman's pal. "
Maybe he is mentoring her...just giving her tips into the minds of the youth that she councils. You know, all that insider information that only Ferris Bueller would know.
TryThisAtHome
TurdBlossom
Posted 6:26 AM 25/7/08
30 minutes? Clearly not that into "it" if you get my drift and I think that you do.
TurdBlossom
WGARefugee
Posted 6:14 AM 25/7/08
Looks like operation "I'm not really gay" was a resounding success.
WGARefugee
kookla
Posted 6:14 AM 25/7/08
Ironic then that SJP is also responsible for He's Just Not That Into You.
kookla
sassypants
Posted 6:13 AM 25/7/08
Yup....still couldn't care less about either of them. Beyond calling her irretrievably stupid.
sassypants
Losin_it
Posted 10:56 AM 25/7/08
The Daily Racing Form indicates SJP's bloodline is: Secretariat-Sarah Parker, by Gold Digger.
Losin_it
rtisovec
Posted 11:13 AM 25/7/08
Look at the bright side, place still paid $3.20, show was only $1.80
rtisovec
solipsister
Posted 11:09 AM 25/7/08
If I'm MB, I'm taking all the light, tight quarter-life flesh I can get. Because I'm Ferris. And I can.
solipsister
"Good" Crazy...
Posted 11:34 AM 25/7/08
From the horses' mouth eh?
...It really was just too easy not to.
"Good" Crazy...
Aaron Poehler
Posted 1:40 AM 26/7/08
Everyone needs a day off now and again.
Aaron Poehler
CaveatLector
Posted 3:06 AM 26/7/08
Love her; always thought he was gay. Still do.
CaveatLector
IKnowThings
Posted 4:25 AM 26/7/08
This is just a fake story to downplay the 'Ferris is gay' rumors, right? Like a few weeks ago when Kenny Chesney said he would rather people think he was gay than know he cheated on Renee with a groupie?
IKnowThings
DanLar75
Posted 6:33 AM 26/7/08
Hes gay and shes a horse.... Sexual issues... naaaaaaaah!
DanLar75
dluvvly
Posted 12:52 AM 27/7/08
For awhile there it doesn't say that the redhead is a woman...
dluvvly