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Lindsay Lohan Celebrates Another Year Of Just Barely Keeping It Together
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:50 AM on July 4, 2008
America isn't the only one having a birthday this week. Last night, Lindsay Lohan — everyone's favourite freckle-faced, raspy-voiced, psychologically-damaged, naked-picture-taking, gossip-column-filling, potential-half-sister-having, secretly-lesbian actress — turned 22 years old. It's truly mind boggling to imagine she's that young. Lohan's got so many miles of bad road behind her that I pegged her for at least 35. But no, 22— only one year past the legal drinking age which she's certainly never adhered to. So, how did Linds celebrate this momentous occasion? By throwing an 80's-prom-themed bash at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel, of course. Check in after the jump for more party deets than you can shake a stick at.
"What luminaries attended this Capote-esque soiree?" you ask. Why only the brightest lights this town has to offer. We're talking Joel and Benji Madden (gasp!), Audrina Partridge (swoon!), Sean Stewart (who?), Evan Ross (double who?), Jamie Lynn Sigler (meh), and David Spade (WAY too old). Even E! reality stars Dina and Ali Lohan managed to sneak past the bouncers.
Yet, behind that velvet rope the party turned out to be pretty mild. Lindsay stuck to drinking Red Bull all evening, and according to People Magazine, "Just after midnight, Teddy's wheeled out a large pink sheet cake featuring a picture of Marilyn Monroe in her iconic wind-blown white dress. The entire lounge sang "Happy Birthday" and Lohan obligingly blew out the candles."
Kind of boring, eh? Well to make up for such an uneventful evening, we feel it is our duty to tell you that Star Magazine is reporting that Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan have been seen buying sex toys together! Feel a little more titillated now? Good. That's what we're here for.
[Photo Credit: X17]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
inkydinkydo
Posted 3:52 AM 4/7/08
Ronson -- rethink that French waiter wardrobe. It's getting old faster than Lilo.
inkydinkydo
Old No.7
Posted 3:40 AM 4/7/08
What, no reporters embedded in the bathroom stalls? Star Magazine, where art thou journalist credibility?
Old No.7
kookla
Posted 3:34 AM 4/7/08
This beats the old days of puking in the halls at The Chateau Marmont, passing out behind the wheel of a car, and wearing someone else's cokepants.
kookla
SaphocratSam
Posted 3:30 AM 4/7/08
hey, a theme of "just barely keeping it together" sounds a hell of a lot more fun than the previous years theme "everything falling apart, and now the fucking hot water is being turned off"
SaphocratSam
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 3:27 AM 4/7/08
@derby: Her "style" isn't helping all that much, either.
Hubert Cumberdale
derby
Posted 3:22 AM 4/7/08
Samantha Ronson is not attractive. Everyone have a nice 4th!
derby
Desk_hack
Posted 3:16 AM 4/7/08
Jamie Lynn Sigler would go to the opening of a Sprinkles box. Jamie, start saying "no" once in a while.
Desk_hack
pettyhooker
Posted 3:15 AM 4/7/08
Maddens were there without their Simple Life lady friends? Interesting. Almost!
Can I agree with Turdblossom? Or do we get the "We don't do that here" scolding and pink slips? Or is this still Defamer, home of the free?
pettyhooker
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 3:10 AM 4/7/08
She's already dead.
Hubert Cumberdale
NoWireHangers
Posted 3:09 AM 4/7/08
What is it with the train wrecks of Hollywood and their creepy Marilyn obsessions? When you die there won't be no "Candle in the Wind" for you.
NoWireHangers
TurdBlossom
Posted 3:05 AM 4/7/08
She looks like she's pushing 40.
TurdBlossom
NoWireHangers
Posted 4:39 AM 4/7/08
@TheStarterWife: Meanwhile, off-Broadway...
[www.awesome80sprom.com]
NoWireHangers
TheStarterWife
Posted 4:24 AM 4/7/08
Maybe it's just me, but does it feel like there have been more "80's Proms" in the past few years than there was during, you know, the '80's.
TheStarterWife
JimRockford
Posted 4:21 AM 4/7/08
In keeping with the '80s prom theme, Sam was sporting a "Ducky-from-'Pretty In Pink'" look.
JimRockford
DrAftershave
Posted 5:28 AM 4/7/08
@derby: because she's the man in the relationship. feminine looks go out the window when it comes to that.
DrAftershave
TheQuestion
Posted 6:08 AM 4/7/08
What the hell is LiLo wearing under that skirt? Jogging shorts? Boxers? Wow, when she decides to wear underwear, she doesn't mess around!
TheQuestion
Losin_it
Posted 8:33 AM 4/7/08
Goodbye Lindsay Dee
I surely don't know you at all
but your parents looked at you
and saw a million bucks,
and they whispered in your brain
"Linds, you can be a big superstar!"
So they sacrificed your childhood
and you wound up always on TMZ
But it seems to me
that you live your life
like a little whore, Linds
the drugs and sex are ruining you
and now dementia will set in
you look like you're forty
and very fucking ill
you'll be washed up long before
your sister Ali ever will.
Having all that dough was tough?
The toughest role you ever played
was in Disney's Herbie flick
Hollywood gave you lots of money
and you threw it all away
living with booze drugs and drama
Your problems go far beyond
just poor Wilmer Valderamma
'Cuz it seems to me
that you lived your life
like a little whore, Linds
when someday you'll know the truth...
your own grandmother tried to tell you
but you were just a kid:
Your father went nuts long before
your asshole mother did.
(Thanks to Nowirehangers for the idea)
Losin_it
Desk_hack
Posted 9:29 AM 4/7/08
@Losin_it: "A" for effort.
Desk_hack
raincoaster
Posted 9:23 AM 4/7/08
MY Eighties prom didn't have RedBull. We had to make do with spiked punch. It was Canada, so everyone brought a bottle of something and just dumped it in. Let me tell you, creme de menthe does NOT work with rye.
raincoaster
Losin_it
Posted 10:00 AM 4/7/08
@Desk_hack: Thanks. It did seem better when I was humming it in my head. Ah well.
Losin_it
crankymediaguy
Posted 6:36 PM 4/7/08
For a moment there, I wasn't sure if that was Lindsay or Dina.
22? Yeah, in dog years.
crankymediaguy