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Keira Knightley's Breasts Officially Unmarketable
Posted by STV at 7:35 AM on July 29, 2008
After an intense period of debate, stroppy siren Keira Knightley has reportedly rejected Paramount Vantage's request to digitally enhance her breasts in publicity photos for its fall drama The Duchess. It's a devastating blow to what remains of the studio's thinning clout, what with pink slips subbing for napkins in the cafeteria, its Oscar legacy threatened by a genre-mediocrity torrent to come, and one of its biggest stars steadfastly refusing to be... well, one of its biggest stars. It's not like there's not precedent here, however. Follow the jump for more, including a glimpse at Knightley's previous brush with the 'brush.
A little research at Vantage would likely have revealed Touchstone's own means of dealing with rack challenged starlets, as recalled over the weekend in published reports: Photoshop first, and ask questions later:
The actress drew negative attention in 2004 with her larger-than-usual breasts in publicity stills for King Arthur.
"Those things certainly weren't mine," Fox News quoted her as saying in 2006. According to Knightley, the studio marketing team was behind her suddenly C-cup breasts, but gave her final approval on the photos.
"I was like, 'OK, fine. I honestly don't give a s—-,'" she recalled.
Alas, after laying off the top-secret crew whose muscular augmentation of Daniel Day-Lewis's moustache put There Will Be Blood over the top in 2007, Vantage brass have lost their secret weapons in the even more subtle art of bosom heaving — a craft having long since fallen out of favour with critics from Scarlett Johansson to Liz Smith. But it could be worse — like that time Into the Wild attempted to pass off Emile Hirsch as a leading man? There are some miracles not even Photoshop can approximate.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
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Breadbowl
Posted 10:48 AM 29/7/08
Can you digitally enhance charisma?
Breadbowl
el smrtmnky
Posted 10:43 AM 29/7/08
@Old No.7 and WGARefugee: if they'd really taken into account the needs of the straight male readers, they should have had pix of hot babes like Megan Fox or Orlando Bloom
el smrtmnky
WGARefugee
Posted 10:08 AM 29/7/08
@Sloan: I think this well-intentioned educational diagram from Wikipedia should clarify the issue for all of us:
[en.wikipedia.org]
WGARefugee
Sloan
Posted 9:53 AM 29/7/08
PEOPLE, she's wearing a corset. This is way worse than some sort of false photoshop crime.
Sloan
eXXX
Posted 9:37 AM 29/7/08
@TryThisAtHome: Yeah it's great she said no, but she's still a horrible actress.
eXXX
kookla
Posted 9:36 AM 29/7/08
So, no word on whether Keira will let them digitally shorten that freaky-azzed jaw of hers?
kookla
Old No.7
Posted 9:19 AM 29/7/08
@el smrtmnky: No, this actually puts them even more in arrears. Wait, that didn't sound right either.
Old No.7
NoWireHangers
Posted 9:09 AM 29/7/08
She should try enhancing her breasts the old fashioned way: eating.
NoWireHangers
WGARefugee
Posted 9:01 AM 29/7/08
@el smrtmnky: Yes and it's about time that someone around here threw us a bone. Wait a minute, that didn't sound right.
WGARefugee
el smrtmnky
Posted 8:54 AM 29/7/08
@brechtgirl: i think this kinda makes up for the Nekkid Bale-fest 08 from last week for straight male readership.
el smrtmnky
TryThisAtHome
Posted 8:25 AM 29/7/08
I give her credit. I think it's great that she said no.
TryThisAtHome
brechtgirl
Posted 8:23 AM 29/7/08
man, you guys sure love that king arthur poster:
gawker.com/360608/keira-knightley-at-the-forefront-of-breast-technology
defamer.com/hollywood/diary/keira-knightley-bazoomed-for-king-arthur-promotion-17426.php
brechtgirl
WGARefugee
Posted 8:02 AM 29/7/08
When I'm running Paramount, it'll be like the Playboy mansion. No more of this namby-pamby retouching: Dolly Parton FFs across the board.
WGARefugee
Shumina
Posted 7:59 AM 29/7/08
It's her tomboy looks and her acting that got her started anyway in Bend. Okay, so maybe just her tomboy looks. Still, no need to toss away what works. Bravo, Keira!
Shumina
Sloan
Posted 12:41 PM 29/7/08
@WGARefugee:
Exactly! Pictures do not lie. Imagine, if you will for a moment, the pubic fat pad hidden under that voluminous skirt of hers, bulging proudly. Yes, even skinny girls.
Sloan
Werrick
Posted 9:20 PM 29/7/08
@TryThisAtHome:
I think it's cool that she said no too.
Unfortunately she works in a business where her appearance is supposed to be part of the draw to her movies and, quite frankly... well... you know where I'm going with this.
And given the fact that (in my opinion, anyway) she's the most wooden actor I've seen in years I fail to see what could possibly make me want to see anything she's in.
Every time she had a line of dialogue in Pirates of the Caribean I cringed... She could fight well, I enjoyed those scened, she can really do a good fight scene... but aside from that I have no interest whatsoever in having anything to do with her movies.
Werrick
aloysius
Posted 1:24 AM 30/7/08
didn't care for her until Pride & Prejudice, in which I thought she was perfect - much better suited to the character than Jennifer Ehle was - and showed nice range.
aloysius