Conversion is not really the biggest issue if they already had a baby out of wedlock.

EleanorRigby

converted, not coverted. coverted is why he changed his name I guess...

lizzybennet

I don't know if Liz Taylor coverted for her first Jewish husband (and the one true love of her life, she used to say), Mike Todd.

lizzybennet

Wonder what Tom Arnold would advise Isla on converting.

redreb

Let's not forget Sammy Davis Jr. when we're toastin' with Manischevitz here.

encinoman

I thought it was spelled "goyim", with the "im" being the plural modifier (i.e. Hasidim, seraphim, Antonio Carlos Jobim....)

A Pimp Named DaveR

Umm...you don't shatter the chuppah, you shatter the glass. Just sayin'....

geekish

Wasn't Claire Danes in the process of converting for Ben Lee when she dumped him to break up Billy Crudup and Mary-Louise Parker?

Snowflake

@sarrible: Why? There are lots of couples who are mixed religion. He doesn't seem especially devout, a la the Baron Cohens.

hummingpenguin

Is Leslie Mann a convert? Married to Judd Apatow I would guess she'd have to be, if she wasn't born, ah, chosen.

sarrible

Oh, baby, you're the one. I love you so much. I love you just the way you are...

So long as you officially renounce your religion and conform unconditionally to mine.

That's right...

I love you, you're perfect, now convert.

GuyBitchy

They're "Jewish" like I'm "Supermodel Countess of Everything Really Cool." Oh, wait...you go JAPs.

gwendemarco

@geekish:
what kind of boring-ass Jewish weddings do YOU go to???

lizzybennet

"We don't roll on Shabbos!"

Cultmember

I don't get it. If you convert, then get divorced, do you automatically revert to your previous religion, or are you Jewish for the rest of your life?

Also, didn't Marilyn Monroe convert for Arthur Miller?

NotReadyForPrimeTime

And such an usual spelling for the Hannukah top. Is the author really a Jew?

Seeräuber Jenny

@lizzybennet:

I went to an outdoor wedding in which the rabbi looked not unlike Indiana Jones. The wedding party still stood under the chuppa.

Seeräuber Jenny

anyone remember 'converted rice'? those were the days, oy.

MrRewrite

Ugh, those lucky bitches. They get to be all chosen and whatever without the nose.

Elkie

@Seeräuber Jenny:
A rabbi who looked like Indiana Jones I'd have raped. Under the chuppa, over it, to the side of it, shattering it.

lizzybennet

You'd think his parents would object as much to his knocking up a non-Jewish girl as marrying one.

MissyMiss

You can convert all you want, but I doubt you're ever really accepted, know what I'm sayin'?

Tiger_Tanaka

@Seeräuber Jenny: Dradle dradle dradle, I made you out of shrimp.
And when you're dry and ready,
I'll roll you up in some prosciutto and eat you.
('Cause I'm not really a Jew!)

DorothyMantooth

But...do you have to convert for Defamer? That's what I want to know. I'm Irish Catholic by DNA and I ordered whitefish the other day and I don't even know what that is!

raincoaster

@A Pimp Named DaveR: A writer with the last name of Friedman doesn't know how to spell dreidel?!

scroll_lock

Sascha Baron Cohen isn't even very religious, he considers himself "culturally Jewish", whatever that means. He discussed it at length in an interview on NPR's Fresh Air when the Borat movie came out.

@A Pimp Named DaveR:, @scroll_lock: The Jews, not known as a spelling people?

@raincoaster: c'mon, what Catholic knows their religious history?

Juancho

@Juancho: "culturally Jewish": in it for the rituals, not the rules.

bookfan

@Juancho: They may be the chosen people, but not for the spelling bee!

scroll_lock

Wait, she put something off to go shopping? Sounds Jewish to me!

CourageousCoward

She already got the baby from him. Why still go through all the fuss and bother to marry?

Scout

@NotReadyForPrimeTime: Indeed she did convert for Arthur Miller, which is interesting because Mr. Miller wasn't a particularly observant practitioner of the Jewish faith.

In one of her last interviews, maybe the Life Magazine one that appeared the week before she died, she described herself as a 'Jewish agnostic' so she apparently still considered herself Jewish even after she and Miller divorced.

gwendolyn

@Seeräuber Jenny: Didn't see your comment first. A checking of a union card would be in order.

scroll_lock

@bookfan: I've always wondered why Jews are the only ones who do this; you never heard someone say I'm "culturally Catholic".

Except maybe some Italians. Nevermind.

Juancho

@bookfan: @Juancho: Or, more precisely, someone who reviles those bagels your co-worker brings to work on Fridays; would never eat a sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise; knows several Yiddish phrases (mostly curses and how to tell someone to "shut up and sit down!"); and uses his religion instead of country when asked what they are. But doesn't go to schul on Friday nights.

See also: Jewish guilt from one's mother. "Mom, I'm 'culturally Jewish.'" "So's my yogurt. Zetsn zikh!"

CourageousCoward

@Juancho:

If Catholicism came with better food and lots of midweek holidays, the "cultural Catholic" trend would totally take off.

City_Dater

The spelling errors in this piece have me schvitzing all over the place!!

SharyBobbins

Great. There goes my weekend. Now I have to change my bumper sticker to read "I'm here. I'm culturally Presbyterian. Get used to it." Luckily, I'm not doing anything on Sunday.

Little Mintz Sunshine

1) Marilyn Monroe consdered herself Jewish even after she divorced Miller.

2) Liz Taylor not only convered, but when she and then-hubby Richard Burton were considering adopting a girl from a German orphange, when told the mother had specified Protestant parents, Liz said, "I can't do it then. I'm Jewish."

HK_Guy

@CourageousCoward: I love that you have chosen to acknowledge, nay, embrace this hypocrisy. Mazel Tov!

In Catholocism, we do have the Twice a Year Catholics, aka C & Es. Easily spotted by not knowing how to do their Catholic calisthenics or forgetting little tasks like how to perform the Sign of the Cross.

Juancho

@Little Mintz Sunshine: Except that "Get used to it" is far too forward for the Presbs. More like, "I'm here. I'm culturally Presbyterian. If you think you could perhaps interrupt your obviously busy schedule to take note, that would be lovely."

Desk_hack

@Juancho: I don't see it as "embracing hypocrisy" when there are people out there who will march you into an oven or drop a bomb on your ass because your family is of Jewish decent. As far as they're concerned, you're Jewish, whether or not you celebrate the holidays, had a bar mitzvah or go to temple.

Organized religion is the true hypocrisy in my opinion.

CourageousCoward

I belong to the Church of Me. The world started when I was born, and will end when I die. No one wants to march me into a gas chamber, except for the mother of my daughter...but that's more a child support issue than a religious one.

Losin_it