In Honour of The 4th of July, Megan Fox Wins Her Independence From Brian Austin Green

I remember the first time I heard about Megan Fox. “Man, this chick has it all,” I thought to myself. She’s hot, not a terrible actress, uh… did I mention hot? In fact there was only one problem with her. Her fiancé was a douchebag. And not just any douchebag, but Brian Austin Green! The whole B.A.G. affair was such an affront to my sensibilities that it tainted Megan Fox as a whole. She couldn’t be that great if she was into a dude who not only devirginized Donna on 90210 but also released a terrible rap album entitled One Stop Carnival. But now that’s all changed, thanks to this little tidbit of information: Megan Fox has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green! [cue Handel's Messiah, ring church bells, light fireworks]

According to the tabloids, she alerted her business associates of the sad happy news. An insider chimes in, “Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realises she’s too young to marry him.”

In other words, Megan has wised up and realised that hanging out with B.A.G. made her 60% less hot. Not only that, her career was on the rise while his was over many eons ago. It’s the classic Hillary Swank/Chad Lowe dynamic. No one wants to marry someone who’ll always be begging for a role in their next movie. So, congratulations, Megan. There is now officially nothing wrong with you. Just get ready for everyone from George Clooney to David Spade to come a-knockin’.

[Photo Credit: FHM]

• TRANSFORMERS – REPORT – FOX ENDS ENGAGEMENT