Ian Thorpe Disappoints All By Dating A Lady

After Melbourne’s Herald Sun Confidential made it clear that the hopes of the nation (i.e. their hopes for a brand new gay icon) were resting on the shoulders of Ian Thorpe, the Thorpedo has gone and dashed their hopes on the craggy rocks of heterosexuality. He is, it seems, dating a woman.

Can’t you just feel their disappointment?

Former swimming champion Ian Thorpe has nudged one step closer to diving into the deep end of his famously private love life.

But it may not create the splash most were anticipating.

After quitting his swimming career to get a life and lessen the intense media scrutiny, the Thorpedo has once again created ripples after last week announcing he was in love with “a special someone”.

After initially refusing to reveal the gender of his “newbie” love, the master of suspense yesterday announced it was indeed a female who has caught his eye.

“I am in a new relationship and I am very happy … except she lives on the other side of the world,” Thorpe told Woman’s Day.

It’s surprising to think that the Confidential crowd haven’t gotten over the idea that a man who likes fashion and tanning and occasionally wears pearl necklaces isn’t necessarily gay, but there you have it.

It’s okay, Confidential, call LifeLine or something.