'Flunky' Hero of 'Kung Fu Panda' Apparently Bears No Resemblance to Actual Chinese
Posted by STV at 11:10 AM on July 29, 2008
On one hand, we're sort of ashamed to have doubled our knowledge of Chinese culture today with one glance at the Los Angeles Times. On the other, a spoonful of sugar — or, more specifically, of Kung Fu Panda — made the medicine go down that much easier as we learned the deep angst gripping China in the wake of the film's success. It's not frustrating enough, evidently, that DreamWorks usurped Chinese authority over everything from animation to the sacred panda itself; rather, the hero Po's abject laziness and mild prurience has an angry 1.2 billion souls searching as we speak:
The idea of making a film in which the hero, a Chinese national symbol, is a bit of a slouch just doesn't wash. Which is also something Po isn't particularly good at.
"Both Asia and the West have elite culture, but in China, Confucian forms dominate," said Zhang Nian, a culture critic. "This panda is a flunky who haggles for his own selfish ends."
Chinese film heroes are generally long on perfection and short on foibles. The men are handsome and robust and the women fair and graceful. And they generally don't have Po's willpower problem, eating disorders or tendency to run from danger. ...
Added to the no-no list for Chinese animators is raciness, particularly in a children's movie. Witness Po's joking use of noodle bowls to simulate breasts and his bid to protect his family jewels — known in Chinese as "little brothers" — in the middle of a fight.
And that's the toned-down version — by fired writer Dan Harmon's infamous account, perhaps the 60th or 65th script draft in a process that once included thinly veiled references to co-star Angelina Jolie's "big sister" and featured Po kicking opium cold turkey in a second-act training montage. And then there was the whole unused Sharon Stone subplot... Seriously, China, it could have been so much worse.

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Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 12:58 PM 29/7/08
In an effort to appease the country that lovingly handcrafts all of its merchandise in sweatshops, Disney will add a scene at the end where Po is run over by a tank.
Little Mintz Sunshine
Palmerlime
Posted 12:49 PM 29/7/08
@WGARefugee: YEAH!! Like finally cranking out another FAB- u- lous SHREK movie. Wait. Better yet...
ICE AGE VERSUS SHREK.
WOO HOO!!! A Goldmine, indeed.
Palmerlime
WGARefugee
Posted 11:42 AM 29/7/08
Looking on the bright side, if the Chinese find some way to execute the executives behind this masterpiece, their organs will be sold to someone who might actually do something meaningful with them.
WGARefugee
Breadbowl
Posted 11:23 AM 29/7/08
I thought the part when Po karate chops his way out of the sweatshop **SPOILER ALERT** only to die in a maoist reeducation camp was handled remarkably well...there is just no pleasing those people.
Breadbowl
Werrick
Posted 9:10 PM 29/7/08
We were offended by the repeated human rights abuses. We were offended by the abject poverty of most of the countries citizens. We were offended by lead in our children's toys.
Nobody cares what China thinks about shit like this, although it sure is fun to listen to them bitch.
Dear, China;
Suck it up.
Love;
-Werrick
Werrick
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 3:54 AM 30/7/08
I say this with a heart full of sweet panda love, but pandas are lazy, dull and wouldn't know what to do with their dicks unless the zookeeper showed 'em porn first.
Maybe China should work a little harder on making sure their national symbol doesn't go extinct due to habitat loss - which might be embarrassing, y'know - and less time bitching about an animated chubby panda.
Sweet Panda Love
Oxycontinmoron
Posted 6:49 AM 30/7/08
+ Watch video
Oxycontinmoron