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Eight Things Every Aspiring Paparazzo Should Be Aware Of
Posted by Seth at 7:25 AM on July 25, 2008
On the surface, the life of the average paparazzo seems almost impossibly glamorous and adventuresome—spent loitering outside one of L.A.'s many ultra-exclusive social establishments, or ducking sniper fire on the branch of an electrified fig tree trying to capture a Chosen Twins double-breast-feeding session. But there are several things we felt you should know before dropping your lucrative dermatology practice to follow your dreams of running away with the pap circus; Defamer videorobics instructor Molly McAleer has generously compiled them all here for you here, along with A/V supporting evidence. Just watch it. That's all we're saying. And keep one eye on that Cash Warren character. Getting Jessica Alba pregnant isn't his only trick shot.
On the surface, the life of the average paparazzo seems almost impossibly glamorous and adventuresome—spent loitering outside one of L.A.'s many ultra-exclusive social establishments, or ducking sniper fire on the branch of an electrified fig tree trying to capture a Chosen Twins double-breast-feeding session. But there are several things we felt you should know before dropping your lucrative dermatology practice to follow your dreams of running away with the pap circus; Defamer videorobics instructor Molly McAleer has generously compiled them all here for you here, along with A/V supporting evidence. Just watch it. That's all we're saying. And keep one eye on that Cash Warren character. Getting Jessica Alba pregnant isn't his only trick shot.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Imnotatnbc
Posted 10:03 AM 25/7/08
Q. They're all a bunch of moronic, intrusive, self-important, law-breaking, douchey car parking anywhere, too much cologne wearing, bottom feeding, cigarette butt flicking, pieces of shit.
A. Papparazzi
B. Network Executives
C. Publicists
D. All of the above
Imnotatnbc
Shadowy Figure
Posted 9:07 AM 25/7/08
Yeah, Cruise is officially out of his mind, so he should have beat holy hell out of that 30 year-old child. What grown man carries a water gun?
Shadowy Figure
kookla
Posted 9:04 AM 25/7/08
@battydiva: Agreed. I didn't find it funny at the time, but I was still nervous about 9/11 and bioterrorist threats.
kookla
avocats
Posted 9:02 AM 25/7/08
Sorry,that wasn't funny--for all he knew, at the instant it happened--it was acid. Paparazzi are scum, and I'm hopeful that LA will soon do something about them. Making people's lives miserable, including chasing them when they have their kids with them, is not a job.
avocats
battydiva
Posted 8:54 AM 25/7/08
I am not a Tom Cruise fan so hate to state this but...how many celebs would have reacted so calmly had they been spritzed in the face by a photog? Anyone else would have popped that guy...
battydiva
Oxycontinmoron
Posted 8:19 AM 25/7/08
Tom, I've done the research. Don't be glib. That was funny! It's funny because you're ego is the size of Jupiter and I just knocked you down a few pegs. Want me to show you again?
Oxycontinmoron
NoWireHangers
Posted 8:16 AM 25/7/08
"What's so funny about that?" Oh, TOM.
The video makes me feel sorry for the paps, because they are so loathed. I've always kinda been of the opinion that stars need to realize that the term "star" means that you will be photographed, chased, etc. Granted, [as Jerri Blank would say] things can get a little out of hand. But the Star System is rooted in Old Hollywood. Back in the day the studios literally owned the actors, and star power was used to draw crowds, sell/market movies, and over time has resulted in big paychecks for actors. That said, if you don't want paps then you don't want US Magazine, press junkets, top billing, and fat paychecks. If you're willing to give that up Hollywood, then goodbye paps. But I think we all know that this is a host/parasite relationship in which each needs the other to survive.
NoWireHangers
Leviticus_71
Posted 8:10 AM 25/7/08
I love Tom Cruise...what's so funny is that he's so mad he was sprayed with water! At least it wasn't piss Tom! Is he upset cause Scientology has special water to bathe in? Poor whack nut Cruise...
Leviticus_71
OldTowneTavern
Posted 8:07 AM 25/7/08
Boy, when Bjork claims "you'll face an army of me" she's not kidding around. She rattled the sugar cubes out of that one.
OldTowneTavern
Losin_it
Posted 10:11 AM 25/7/08
Paps suck, obviously, but I think most of the possible cures would be worse than the disease. I don't want to scrap the First Amendment so Britney Spears can go on a late night Cheese-Whiz and Doritos run without having her picture taken.
Losin_it
Evil Tortie's Mom
Posted 11:58 AM 25/7/08
I hadn't seen that Bjork clip before. Day-um. Must be embarrassing for that pap in front of his colleagues now -- "hey, aren't you the guy Bjork beat the crap out of?"
Evil Tortie's Mom
Itsjustcatnip
Posted 11:48 AM 25/7/08
9. Everyone hates you- needs what you do, but hates you.
Itsjustcatnip
shag_carpet_bomb
Posted 1:48 PM 25/7/08
@Evil Tortie's Mom: It was actually a woman. She was pestering her after a 21 hour flight, and Bjork lost it.
shag_carpet_bomb
MissFiFi
Posted 2:17 PM 25/7/08
Some stars know how to keep a low profile, others likes the paps. I myself have no desire to deal with the paps, especially as a normal citizen. I always say, if I was out shopping and the store decided to close the store to regular folks so a "star" can shop and I must leave?? It is go time. Not all of us are enamored by those who act.
MissFiFi
mossdale
Posted 11:06 PM 25/7/08
pictures, fine, so long as they keep some reasonable distance. the yelling idiotic questions and asshole comments simply to elicit angry responses are what get me.
mossdale
raincoaster
Posted 8:20 AM 26/7/08
Sigh. I miss Rance.
raincoaster