Do You See What Melbourne Confidential Did There, Thorpey?

Whether we like it or not (and I don’t), and particularly since he’s stopped swimming competitively and tends to hang out at fashion events and on Australia’s Next Top Model, Ian Thorpe’s sexuality has become a hotly debated topic of conversation amongst the gossip set.

To wit, this piece from today’s Herald Sun Confidential, which is a run-on from discussing an interview Thorpe gave in Who in which he was evasive about his love life:

Gender specifics aside, the real test may come when the Foxtel personality appears on Rove to promote the History Channel’s swimming special this Sunday night.

How will Thorpe respond to Rove’s trademark question “Who would you turn gay for?”

What would be great would be if Thorpey turned up clutching a handbag, squealed about Armani and Liza Minelli all night, and then hollered “BARBRA STREISAND!!” when Rove asks said question, before dumping a bucket of porridge on Rove’s head, shouting “punk’d!” and then performing Judas Priest’s Breakin’ The Law as a torch song backed by the Tony Bartuccio Dancers.

That ought to at least shut them up through the powers of extreme confusion if nothing else.