RSS Feeds
Diablo Cody, The People's Oscar Winner, Will Gladly Sign Your Testisatchel
Posted by Seth at 3:00 AM on July 12, 2008
Looking for something to do tonight? Juno screenwriter/ unhealthy-Defamer -preoccupation topic Diablo Cody is curating the New Beverly schedule for the next two weeks, in a programme she calls MONDO DIABLO: Season of the Bitch!. "Call it a festival, a season, or just TWO SOLID WEEKS OF FUCKING RAD SHIT," she writes on her MySpace blog. The fun kicks off tonight with a Reitman family reunion, as both Ivan and Jason will be on hand to answer all your Stripes and Thank You for Smoking-related questions. To sweeten the pot—as if that fucking rad shit-filled pot needed sweetening—Cody has offered to sign your Juno DVDs and Blu-Rays, or your scrotum:
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE COME. I'll sign your DVD. I'll sign your nutsack!
Now before a line of beaming, tracksuit-pants-wearing gentlemen of all ages and sizes starts winding its way around Fairfax, we'd like to remind everyone that Diablo's generous, nutsack-autographing offer was not meant to titillate cheap-thrill seekers. Handlers will ensure that the line move swiftly as possible, and while she'll do her best to oblige any requests, demands that she scrawl, "Your balls are the cheese to my macaroni. Love, Diablo" with a fine-point Sharpie across one's low-hanging nether-regions will most likely not be obliged.
- MONDO DIABLO: Season of the Bitch! [Diablo Cody's MySpace]
Tags: diablo cody | jason reitman | john hancocks | juno
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
CourageousCoward
Posted 4:24 AM 12/7/08
@Jasper Lamar Crabb: According to her blog, that is on her vagenda.
CourageousCoward
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 4:13 AM 12/7/08
Once. Twice. Three times a fucking nutsack signing lady.
Little Mintz Sunshine
TenTimesFiltered
Posted 4:04 AM 12/7/08
What, no love for taint autographs?
TenTimesFiltered
Jasper Lamar Crabb
Posted 3:55 AM 12/7/08
I'm readying my nutsack for her John Hancock, but what about the ladies? Will she signa their vaginas?
Jasper Lamar Crabb
Sloth
Posted 3:52 AM 12/7/08
I think Jesse Jackson might have some nuts she could sign soon.
Sloth
Hubert Cumberdale
Posted 3:45 AM 12/7/08
MySpace blog: classy.
Hubert Cumberdale
CourageousCoward
Posted 3:34 AM 12/7/08
"I found someone who treats me kind and doesn't only love me from behind."
Her friends are as talented as she is.
CourageousCoward
jerebo
Posted 4:51 AM 12/7/08
I'm actually excited to see Fright Night and Elm Street 3 on the big screen? Anyone else?
jerebo
NoWireHangers
Posted 4:47 AM 12/7/08
What will she sign with? I don't know that Sharpies are up to such an olfactory offending task. Signing sweaty fanballs will be like using crayons to write on a dry erase board.
NoWireHangers
Leviticus_71
Posted 4:37 AM 12/7/08
@Hubert Cumberdale: Never assuem a stripper is classy. Assume she likes you for the dollar in her mouth. And assume she smells like Cotton Candy, as any stripper worth her salt should.
Leviticus_71
DanLar75
Posted 5:32 AM 12/7/08
Would travel, buy Bluray (though I don't have a player) and bring my own pen if I thought I would actually get her name on my nads!
Hotness!
DanLar75
Douglas Reinhardt
Posted 5:26 AM 12/7/08
I guess I better shave for this one.
Douglas Reinhardt
MartyPants
Posted 5:19 AM 12/7/08
@Leviticus_71: Man...I'm still wondering about those cotton-candy-scented strippers. I really had no idea!
MartyPants
LLH
Posted 5:18 AM 12/7/08
@NoWireHangers: nice. anyone have any brillo pads so i can scrub that image out of my brain.
LLH
Truculent
Posted 6:05 AM 12/7/08
Can an gentleman "extend" himself for an easier-to-read autograph?
Truculent
Old No.7
Posted 5:40 AM 12/7/08
I think I'm in love.
Old No.7
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 8:12 AM 12/7/08
Hasn't she gone away yet?
Sweet Panda Love
gangrenejean
Posted 8:08 AM 12/7/08
@jerebo: Yes! So excited! And I'm there for Xanadu too, though I have a suspicion she's only showing that because her bf Edgar Wright loves it. But sucking up to the guy you're f**king by showing a disco roller rink film featuring Gene Kelley ain't bad in my book.
gangrenejean
the_other_argento_kid
Posted 9:14 AM 12/7/08
@gangrenejean: Nah, Diablo's loved Xanadu for ages. She's a big ELO fan.
the_other_argento_kid
gwendemarco
Posted 10:02 AM 12/7/08
It's so rad! It's the raddiest. If rad were mildly amusing, what we could license in such short notice, seen on cable every fucking week type of fucking rad shit.
gwendemarco