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Condom Company Recruits Miley Cyrus As Another Make-Out Session Is Caught On Camera
Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:00 AM on July 29, 2008
Astonishing as it is, Miley Cyrus — the little tween queen ofsexy "private" pictures that keep somehow keep becoming public — is currently at the centre of three separate scandalous stories. Last week, the 15-year old Jesus-loving and shirt-eating mini-millionaire not only accidentally (of course!) found herself the victim of an iPhone hacker who published naughty wet t-shirt shower photos of her on the web, in addition to being the provacateur of a YouTube revenge video against Disney rival Selena Gomez. But there is so much more! Not only has Miley instructed her publicist to apologise for her role in said video, but the belly-baring icon of all young Christians has just been targeted as Lifestyles Condoms' newest spokeswoman because a brand rep feels she's "relatable to the afflicted set," and another clever blogger has unveiled yet another borderline-scandalous series of photos featuring the husky-voiced star getting hot and heavy with yet another ex-boyfriend — and we can't help noticing just how well-timed this particular "leak" is with regard to enemy Gomez' recent hook-up to that man-boy in the middle of their rift, Nick Jonas:
Unlike those many photos of Miley kissing recently stolen ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas, Hilary Duff and some rando old man, Cyrus was mysteriously photographed in a series of heavy lip-locks with the not-so-famous fellow crooner Thomas Sturges this month, a little-known singer who is said to be another ex of the apparently quite experienced Miley. We don't know about you, but when we were 15, we were still trying to get the tall blond boy who doodled cartoons during chem lab to at least lock eyes with us just once, let alone come within tongue-twisting distance. But luckily for Miley, all these presumably distressing photo leaks have landed her a potentially lucrative spokesperson job offer for Lifestyles Condoms, who claim her virgin-esque image is ideal as an "influential" face for the brand. Plus, they're offering the uber-mature tween a lifetime supply, "for when the time is right." Which, we have to assume, was approximately one year ago. The silver lining? Miley is "super sorry" about ripping rival Selena Gomez apart on YouTube! Because, like, "Elvis said imitation is the greatest form of flattery!" And, like, Miley is way richer than Elvis and way more important, so quoting him quoting an 18th century writer sounds way smart and stuff!
[Photo credits: Oceanup.com via Celebslam]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
Stan
Posted July 29, 2008 2:03 PM
Miley should wait until Selena or Demi actually say they are upset or hurt by Miley Youtube parody video before she apologizes. As far as she know they laughed their butts off watching it. The only people who seem upset are some uptight fans and some Gossip sites and Blogs. If Selena and Demi aren't upset enought to publicly say anything then everyone should butt out and Miley should with hold her apology.
Breadbowl
Posted 10:49 AM 29/7/08
Miley's starting to make the Spears sisters look wholesome.
Breadbowl
kookla
Posted 9:38 AM 29/7/08
I'm confused. Are you saying Miley swapped spit with Elvis?
kookla
Old No.7
Posted 9:09 AM 29/7/08
At this point, I don't think there is any teen heartthrob that Miley has not mugged down with, including Billy Ray.
Old No.7
Leviticus_71
Posted 8:22 AM 29/7/08
As Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri so colorfully put it..."Sex can wait, Mas-tur-bate!"
Leviticus_71
Losin_it
Posted 8:14 AM 29/7/08
Copying someone is a form of flattery when you are trying to emulate them, not when you are trying to laugh at them. But who can really expect much brain power from any member of the Cyrus clan.
At any rate, I find the fact that Miley likes to kiss boys unsurprising. From those pictures, though, it looks like she needs someone to actually show her how it's done.
Losin_it
WGARefugee
Posted 8:14 AM 29/7/08
I'm with Oxcontinmoron. The League of Unwitting Content Providers has to draw the line somewhere.
WGARefugee
Oxycontinmoron
Posted 8:08 AM 29/7/08
To comment is to be complicit. Whoops!
Oxycontinmoron
Greasy Thumb Guzik
Posted 1:23 PM 29/7/08
And just how many cartons of cigs does she smoke to get that husky voice at 15?
Greasy Thumb Guzik