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Brett Ratner: Big Penis Enthusiast
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:45 AM on July 3, 2008
Brett Ratner gets a lot of shit here at Defamer. We've called him "annoying," "a hack," even... gasp... "a bad director." But one thing we won't do is say the guy doesn't appreciate fine literature. Why, according to Page Six, Ratner was the biggest star at an LA book signing the other night. Of course, that book was The Big Penis Book. And Taschen, the publisher, says it's "profusely illustrated with over 400 historic photos of spectacular male endowments."
Taschen goes on to proclaim that "a big penis is undeniably compelling. Big shoulders, big lapels, and big hair may come and go, but the big penis never goes out of fashion. With those possessing more than 8 inches (20 cm) making up less than 2% of the world's population, this rare accessory will always fascinate." And Brett was indeed fascinated. Gossip maven Richard Johnson (a very penis-y name, by the way) says "the Hollywood director showed up at LA venue Alpha and bought five copies, which he got signed by the cover model, porn star Chad Hunt."
But that's not all. Apparently, "the party was full of 'underwear-clad male waiters and porn stars;' and...'Brett was eating it up!'" So what does all this mean? Is Ratner suffering from penis envy? Or is he trying to option the book for some ill-conceived, giant-penis-based buddy comedy starring Willem Dafoe, Tommy Lee and the ghost of Milton Berle? Only time will tell.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
- Buying Big [NY Post]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
gwendolyn
Posted 5:51 AM 3/7/08
@NoGrumpys: "Bob is smiling, confident..."
gwendolyn
NoGrumpys
Posted 5:49 AM 3/7/08
Dr. Seuss already did this book - it was called "Hop on Pop"
I hear there is an ad for ENSYTE - "the natural male enhancement" at the end of the book
NoGrumpys
majikthise
Posted 5:32 AM 3/7/08
oh, and the ghost of Forrest Tucker!
majikthise
majikthise
Posted 5:30 AM 3/7/08
Don't forget James Woods in that cast . . .
majikthise
Old No.7
Posted 5:24 AM 3/7/08
@WGARefugee: I didn't like the residuals.
Old No.7
kookla
Posted 5:23 AM 3/7/08
Dick Johnson. Isn't that redundant?
BTW: I heard a rumor of Ratner's full frontal in a documentary and he most definitely must have been suffering from p-envy.
kookla
WGARefugee
Posted 5:20 AM 3/7/08
How many other male Defamer commenters besides myself were asked (beseeched, really) to appear in this book and turned it down. All of us? The editorial staff too? Ladies take note: English majors rule!
WGARefugee
CourageousCoward
Posted 5:13 AM 3/7/08
Wait...Lindsay Lohan was HIS beard?!
CourageousCoward
el smrtmnky
Posted 5:07 AM 3/7/08
all those Mimi videos have taken their toll. great. this means he'll be trolling Rim Job on Tusday and Big Fat Dick on Thursday for some cack. although, he's kinda a bearish so i'd say he'd do well with some of the chasers at Eagle.
el smrtmnky
Old No.7
Posted 5:05 AM 3/7/08
By the redness in the picture, he looks like he just got whipped in the face by a big penis.
Old No.7
gwendolyn
Posted 5:05 AM 3/7/08
For a middle-aged woman, I must brag on myself - Mr. Ratner caused my gaydar to literally atomize the first time I saw the notorious photo (in Defamer) of him humping a starlet/cocktail server/production assistant from behind at a party.
I had to order another one from Brookstone...
Anyway, I am not surprised in the least.
gwendolyn
bodreeyard
Posted 5:04 AM 3/7/08
Should we have a hyphen between "big" and "penis" to clarify matters? I'm confused as to whether Ratner is a big enthusiast of penises (presumably in all sizes) or an enthusiast of big penises. Ambiguity makes both the little and the big head hurt.
bodreeyard
TurdBlossom
Posted 4:54 AM 3/7/08
Hmmmm. A very interesting turn of events non?
TurdBlossom
CatherineTrammell
Posted 6:01 AM 3/7/08
To be fair, when Brett Ratner got the invite to the "Big Penis Book" party, he thought he thought it was for his biography.
CatherineTrammell
EuroDad
Posted 5:58 AM 3/7/08
@WGARefugee:
i was all ready to go until i heard that the centerfold was already taken
EuroDad
I'm Waitin' for Dolemite
Posted 8:19 AM 3/7/08
@majikthise: and somewhat amazingly enough Tony Randall (I've seen art photos from the late 40s)
He's at least be able to make the book.
I'm Waitin' for Dolemite
BoHan
Posted 11:37 AM 3/7/08
@Oxycontinmoron: I'm thinking when Lindsay showed up at Ratner's place she just wanted to get introduced to some hot lesbians.
BoHan
BoHan
Posted 11:35 AM 3/7/08
@WGARefugee: If it werent' for that fucking actor's strike, I'd be the front cover, although I forget which side I'm on.
BoHan
WGARefugee
Posted 1:46 PM 3/7/08
@majikthise: Mary, mother of god, you're right--but check out what he told Mamie Van D about George f*cking Raft!
Incroyable!
WGARefugee
I'm Waitin' for Dolemite
Posted 11:50 PM 3/7/08
[en.wikipedia.org]
"In the early 1930s Tallulah Bankhead nearly died following a 5-hour hysterectomy for an advanced case of gonorrhea she claimed she got from Raft. Only 70 pounds when she was able to leave the hospital, she stoically said to her doctor, "Don't think this has taught me a lesson!"
I'm Waitin' for Dolemite
gwendolyn
Posted 12:34 AM 4/7/08
@WGARefugee: Mamie Van Doren wrote that?!? Damn, she's not a bad writer at all. But I thought George Raft was gay.
I also thought it was Gary Cooper who gave Ms. Bankhead the incredibly bad case of gonorrhea.
I love history...
gwendolyn
WGARefugee
Posted 4:32 AM 5/7/08
@gwendolyn: I read a tell-all by John Gilmore a few years ago that dished on McQueen, James Dean, Bardot and many others. The book wasn't great but one of the things I learned from it is that getting acquainted with their agent, Lou Pearlman-style, was a required rite of passage for most male stars in the fifties and sixties, including McQueen and Dean. According to the author, McQueen's career as a womanizing heel was his way of dealing with it.
WGARefugee
charles_barrett
Posted 11:41 AM 7/7/08
@WGARefugee: Count me in... I wanted both front-end AND back-end profit sharing deals (based on GROSS, not suckers-only NET), as well as all-media post-release residuals... based on a sliding-scale determined by individual endowment statistics. The fuckers wouldn't meet my terms, so I walked (in a somewhat crab-like manner)...
charles_barrett