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Brad Pitt To Bleeding Paparazzo: 'If You Want War, You Will Get It'
Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:05 AM on July 26, 2008
In the latest Pap Said / Celeb Said scandal, the mystical forests of Brangelina's French estate turned into a bloody battleground where one ruthless pap and the Jolie-Pitts' head of security attacked each other with walkie-talkies and teeth. As the NY Daily News reports, freelance photographer Luc Goursolas was so determined to slip into the compound unnoticed that he spent five hours on foot, decked himself out in camouflaged clothing, only to come face-to-unhappy-face with the soccer team's unamused top guard. As Goursolas claims:
"I was pouring blood. I threw myself at them, put blood all over them, and told them that I had HIV so they would stop hitting me...The forest belongs to everyone."
But from the sound of it, Pitt disagreed so vehemently with this last statement that the actor underwent a Hulk-like transformation into Tyler Durden, and joined this fight club himself:
The scene, reminiscent of that infamous slapstick evening when a NY pap jumped on top of Lindsay Lohan's car and called it a hit-and-run, is similarly described in very different ways by Goursolas and Tony Webb, the guard at the centre of the action. But figuring out who to believe means figuring out whether or not Pitt really morphed into our favourite rippled muscle man role in his steadily dimming archive. Despite the pap's claim that the guards "hit him with a walkie-talkie, punched and kicked him, leaving a head wound that required three stitches," Webb and his Chosen Two-protecting soldiers are the only ones who left a local hospital with nostalgically-termed "doctor's notes" giving them four days off-duty. So as much as we enjoy the vision of Pitt storming out of his chateau shirtless, fists clenched, and telling the pap that "what you are doing is bad!", doctor's notes speak a bit louder than colorful words.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Huge Tracts of Land
Posted 10:38 AM 26/7/08
@Barbarella: It's true! He seems like such used goods nowadays. BRAD, WE THE UNITED WOMEN AND GAY MEN OF THE INNANETS SHUN YOU.
Huge Tracts of Land
Barbarella
Posted 10:30 AM 26/7/08
@Huge Tracts of Land: Because Brad ceased to be attractive the moment Angelina pussy whipped him into submission.
Barbarella
Huge Tracts of Land
Posted 10:10 AM 26/7/08
Hmm! I'm not seeing the same level of hot-abs-and-chest-distracted-ness in this thread as was witnessed in the many Bale posts of this week!
Huge Tracts of Land
Shumina
Posted 10:09 AM 26/7/08
The issue becomes escalated once one considers two men in camo gear sneaking around private property where young children are present. The guards caught them and did "guard things" to them. This played out exactly how it was supposed to. If the pap is expecting sympathy, he should consider the fact he can still walk as return on his investment, because if it were me and my family? Yeah, there'd be no "his side" to this story.
Shumina
moseskitty
Posted 9:54 AM 26/7/08
If the couple wasn't selling out their newborns to the highest bidder, this would not have happened.
moseskitty
raincoaster
Posted 9:46 AM 26/7/08
Eh, he's French. You're surprised he's whining?
raincoaster
nick_r
Posted 9:29 AM 26/7/08
Malibu is Gotham, and the paps are the Joker.
nick_r
shag_carpet_bomb
Posted 9:26 AM 26/7/08
3 stitches????? OMG, did they helicopter him to the ER?? They should have let Pax and Maddox at him with their dirt bkes and paintball guns.
shag_carpet_bomb
bichon
Posted 9:22 AM 26/7/08
The neighbors are starting a petition.
bichon
EuroDad
Posted 9:18 AM 26/7/08
@kookla:
probably better received than if it caught the pap beating himself off. the twins have been lookin' pretty good as of late, and i'm not talking about Viv & Knox.
EuroDad
kookla
Posted 8:56 AM 26/7/08
How ironic would it be if the surveillance camera showed the paparazzi beating himself up?
kookla
Xylo
Posted 8:49 AM 26/7/08
@EuroDad: Yeah. You're wearing camo gear, skulking around our house, where six teeny kids also live? You're gonna get a beating.
Xylo
EuroDad
Posted 8:34 AM 26/7/08
i read about this on another site this morning and i'm just flabbergasted that there is even a dialogue going on about the paps injuries; you were TRESPASSING you stupid fuck. next time maybe they'll shoot you to avoid the argument altogether.
btw, he was apparently accompanied by a videographer, also decked out in camo, as was all of their gear, to avoid detection.
EuroDad
Lapinot
Posted 8:12 PM 26/7/08
What a bloodythirsty lot you are.
Lapinot
avocats
Posted 2:31 AM 27/7/08
They should have shot on sight. And Jolie/Pitt are only "selling" the pix of the kids to thwart the bloodsucking paps.
avocats
Losin_it
Posted 4:44 AM 27/7/08
@avocats: Yikes. I don't like paps and their tactics, either. But no one has the right to seriously injure a treapasser just for that offense alone.
If someone walks on your front lawn, he is trespassing and doing a bad thing. But if the police nor the justice system don't have the right to break that person's legs, then surely the owner of the property doesn't, either. A property owner is committing a tort of his own when he injures a pap, and is very likely to pay a hefty settlement. If the injuries are in any way serious, and prevent that pap from making a living...well, few juries are going to refuse to go along.
Losin_it
Kevin O
Posted 11:57 AM 27/7/08
It all depends on where you live. In texas you can shoot the fuck out of anyone coming on your property and not be charged. In other states in the us you have less aggressive options, but in general if you come on my property in cammo gear with the intent to be a peeping tom, I could beat you with a baseball bat and not fear legal consequences.
In france, however, you are expected to fix invaders a nice meal, show them around the place in case they need any of your furniture,and assist them in determining the level of jewishness of your neighbors. Tradition you know.
Kevin O
rudolphdude
Posted 9:28 PM 27/7/08
@Losin_it: Can we go full cult status and have our own attornies.
I nominate you sir to be our cult lawyer!
Now, who is a publicist?
rudolphdude
jwick25
Posted 11:18 PM 27/7/08
Maybe Brad has been feeling the pressure to prove that he still has testicles. Personally, I think Angelina wears them hanging from a chain around her neck.
jwick25
Losin_it
Posted 1:06 AM 28/7/08
@Kevin O: I assume that a celebrity will know that the people coming on their property with big cameras around their necks are paps. (If they thought they were killers or terrorists, they might not be so brave as to confront them on their own.) Therefore, that also have no reasonable expectation that they are also burglars or murderers or rapists. So I don't see you having the right to kill or cripple someone on for the "crime" of being an intrusive pap....Texas or anywhere else. Even if it's not a crime, it's got to be the basis for a civil suit.
As we know, self defense is all good and necessary, but it can't be crazy. That's all. Taking a picture (or trespassing) just isn't a capital offense.
Losin_it
majikthise
Posted 5:37 AM 29/7/08
@Huge Tracts of Land: i was so busy drooling over the pic, i didn't get to your comment until much later. sorry to all you Bale-lovers, but i couldn't care less about him. Brad is and always will be the most beautiful man on earth.
majikthise