Bloody hell. Yesterday I promised you exclusive audio goodness, but I can't get the stupid audio clip thingos to work, and my head hurts, so there's gonna be a slight delay, I'm afraid. However, because I wanted to give you something to read, I have lovingly transcribed the conversation I had with Angie Hart yesterday on the cutting edge topic "Neighbours versus Home & Away". It is daft, and you can read it all after the jump.

And if you'd like to win tickets to any of the East Coast Dave McCormack (ex Custard)/ Angie Hart (ex Frente) shows, just send a funny video link - anything you like - to tips at defamer.com.au, and mention which show you'd like to win a double pass for. That's it!

DA: There's something I wanted to bring up with you. I wanted to talk to you about the fact... I watch Neighbours, yeah? When I first became your friend, I frolicked in your forums at your request...

Angie: (fearful sounding) Yeah...

DA: ... and ran amuck, and asked you a whole lot of questions, and one of the questions I asked in there was "Which do you prefer, Neighbours or Home & Away?"

Angie: Mmmm.

DA: Your answer at the time was that you preferred Home & Away because Frente had played on it - at the surf club. I believe when Shane and Angel met. Massive moment!

Angie: Yeah!

DA: And because of that you were one step above unheard of in the U.K, and that's why Home & Away is your favourite.

Angie: Yeah.

DA: Would you still say that considering that this year - three months ago... well, maybe a bit more... Toadie and Steph's incredibly unsuccessful nuptials were soundtracked by 'My Thief' from your latest album Grounded Bird, and I thought "That's nice, she'll always be remembered for providing the song for one unsuccessful Neighbours wedding."

Angie: But that's not all!

DA: Cut to last week, there's Carmella and Marco, him DYING after the tragic bushfires that have rocked Erinsborough - WHICH NEIGHBOUR LIT IT, I STILL DON'T KNOW! - and they get married to the tune of 'Kiwi' from your album Grounded Bird. Two weddings within a couple of months time on the same show all being soundtracked by you. Is every tragedy in Erinsborough going to have you in the background AND has this affected the way you, you know... Neighbours is still pretty big in the U.K, two songs... has this trumped a surf club appearance?

Angie: I wasn't aware at this stage that Home & Away had anything but tragedies on the show, so pretty slim pickings on when you're gonnna get a song played now that it sort of runs like an episode of Lost.

DA: Yeah.. (slowly realises Angie is talking about Home & Away) It's Neighbours! This is Neighbours, not Home & Away, Angie! Focus! You don't even know the difference between them!

Angie: No, I don't. (evil laugh) I thought you were talking about Home & Away the entire time.

DA: Nup, Neighbours.

Angie: Okay.

DA: (disappointed) Oh, Angie.

Angie: Well, that's a little twist to the plot. I feel a little tricked and betrayed... but actually... yeah, I just don't watch either of them (laughs)

DA: What if one of your songs happened to be on Boston Legal or Wife Swap?

Angie: Oh! Well, that's a whole 'nother thing, isn't it? I'm a big fan...

DA: Of Wife Swap.

Angie: Well, actually... Boston Legal. But I do like Wife Swap.

DA: Yeah, it's pretty good.

Angie: I'm done with that whole guilty pleasure thing. I watch it, and I love it.

DA: Oh good. I'm glad to hear that.

Angie: I've kind of side stepped your question as to whether I prefer Home & Away or Neighbours, but I think the answer is apparent since I don't really know which show you were talking about and you named some key characters, so...

DA: And the answer is? Neither.

Angie: Would my answer really hold up in court? I don't think so.

DA: You could lie! Just say "NEIGHBOURS!" really passionately, cos they're the ones at the moment who are bringing you in some bucks.

Angie: (admirable enthusiasm) Neighbours, really passionately! (normally) Yeah okay, how was that?

DA: Great, good... and also say - "big shout out to the soundtrack organiser at Neighbours!"

Angie: YO, SOUNDTRACK ORGANISER! Big shout out! Neighbours, really passionately! I'll say it again!

DA: And now say "Hola to the Grundy Massive!"

Angie: (laughs) I've got my hands in that funny configuration that looks as though I'm hugging myself, but it's a gang sign.

DA: You're very gangster.

And there you go. We've all learned absolutely nothing from that interview. May god have mercy on our souls.