The most important, non-hamster-related casting news of the summer trickled into Defamer's inbox today, with the modestly subject-lined "MOTHER OF ALL PRESS RELEASES" issuing a heads-up for anyone interested in auditioning for author Dessarae Bradford's adaptation of her book, Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy.

What? You haven't heard of it? Where have you been?

I AM TRUMPETING THE MOTHER OF ALL TALENT CASTING CALLS!!!!.

My movie is called :COLIN FARRELL : A DARK TWISTED PUPPY - THE MOVIE

I will be shooting this fall - WAKE UP THIS IS NOT A DREAM.

For those that haven't been updated, I have adapted my book "COLIN FARRELL: A DARK TWISTED PUPPY," into to a laugh a minute romantic comedy that will be shooting this fall 2008 and will be out next year FEB 2009. ...

What makes this movie unique is that all it takes for anyone 18 years or older to be in my movie is for them to join my fan club , and stay a current member for about two months and you are in my movie.

And all it takes to join Bradford's fan club, of course, is $20. (But the 1,000th member wins $5,000 and a speaking part, so don't rush!) It's a small price to pay for access to a breakthrough like A Dark Twisted Puppy, Bradford's tale of dealing with a "voided lonely soul" who, per her book-jacket copy, "shared his innermost fantasies with me, and also told the tales of his tawdry affairs with such female leading actresses as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Angeline Jolie, and Rosario Dawson to no end, leaving no graphic detail out."

We're not sure where the psychosis ends and the "laugh a minute romantic comedy" kicks in, but in any event, Bradford promises considerable media attention at the Kodak Theatre on July 28, likely accompanied by a process server and perhaps even a lawyer casting Farrell v. Bradford: The Civil Suit. That's one we'd pay at least $20 to see.

• 'Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy' [Dessarae Bradford]

Tags: colin farrell | defamer casting | dessarae bradford