Wednesday, July 23, 2008
It’s Unlikely Elton John’s Wish Would Be Granted In This Day And Age
3:14PM Jess McGuire | Post-9/11, aircraft passenger demands to see the pilot would probably be met with a nice pair of handcuffs, but “back in the day” Elton John was free to speak to whomever he damn well wanted, even if his urge to banter occurred midflight.
To honour this innocent cocaine-fuelled time in music – and continuing our celebration of Forgotten Pop Gems Of Yesteryear – let’s revel in the bouncy goodness that is Elton John’s ‘Take Me To The Pilot’. I can’t find an official clip to save my life, so here’s Reg performing it live in 1992.
More » 
Jordan And Peter Andre Prepare To Jive
2:07PM Jess McGuire | Peter Andre and his missus Katie ‘Jordan’ Price – officially the world’s most amazing couple (seriously, read Peter Andre’s autobiography and you’ll laugh your arse off/fall in love/smash your head against the nearest available brick wall) – are taking their riveting dynamic to “a whole new world“… the world of DANCE, MOTHERFUCKERS, DANCE.
Katie Price and Peter Andre are to star in the next season of Strictly Come Dancing.
The couple are reportedly in advanced talks with TV producers, who have been trying to sign them up since the ballroom-dancing show kicked off four years ago.
How I wish we were able to watch this program in Australia. Still, there’s always YouTube.
Also, let’s take a moment to marvel at the duo’s resilience.
It was revealed last week that Katie and Pete’s ITV2 chat show was axed, but they will return with Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter.
Brilliant. You get axed, you dust yourself off and come back with “The Next Chapter”. I approve heartily.
In conclusion, because it’s a tradition around these parts whenever I write about the Price-Andres…
(Via Seriously? OMG! WTF?) More » 
YouTube Clip Of The Day
1:49PM Jess McGuire | Today’s Clip Of The Day comes courtesy of Defamer Australia reader Phoebe, who sent me a very nice email and will now be invited to my next birthday party, should I ever have one again.
I am having a flashback to eating soggy Weetbix while watching cartoons before school. More » 
The Hot Grits – ‘Headlights’
12:46PM Jess McGuire | It seems inevitable that a little Kiwi culture should soak in as I frolic across the Tasman, and so I’d like to present to you a video clip from a Noo Zulland band known as The Hot Grits which I happened to stumble across whilst channel surfing last night.
I think it’s cute as hell, but apparently it’s been banned by TVNZ. The song sounds a little Los Lobos to me, and I enjoy it.
So there you go. More » 
‘Footy Show’ Surprised To Find That Acting Like Knobs Turns Off Viewers
12:34PM Clem Bastow | Could it be that after years of acting like complete twonks, The Footy Show are starting to feel the effects of their knobbishness where it hurts – in the ratings?
Evidently viewers are deserting the show, particularly in Sydney, where dismal ratings are adding to Nine’s already especially dire annus horribilis. Can anyone say “suck on it”?
The unexpected decline has been concentrated in the past three weeks, with the show struggling to top ABC1’s political debate program Q&A – and being beaten by it in key periods.
While producers are at a loss to explain the sudden desertion, the show’s founding executive producer believes the similar opinions of panel members Paul Vautin, Matthew Johns, Paul Harragon and Laurie Daley was turning the show “a little beige”.
“They’re very careful what they say about players and I understand why, but I don’t think that necessarily helps out television,” Gary Burns – now Nine’s Event TV executive producer – said.
[...]
The Footy Show’s Sydney audience fell to 186,000 viewers after Origin game three, a record low beaten last week when the audience plummeted to 166,000.
That’s down from an average 271,000 viewers in March.
Goodness, beaten by an ABC political chat show! Perhaps the whole “Ha ha, this (disabled) guy is totally blind drunk!” debacle was the straw that broke the camel’s back, ratings-wise?
Then again, that would suggest that NRL fans have a conscience.
So, er, in that case, top work, Tony Jones! More » David Jones: No Underage Models For You!
12:00PM Clem Bastow | After numerous “OMG TOO YOUNG” scandals in the modelling world over the past year (most recently Polish teenager – like, a fourteen year old teenager – “Jak” posing in a swimsuit in the bathtub), it seems David Jones are keen to cover their arses in advance of their Summer Collection parades. In other words, they’ve introduced an ‘18 and over‘ policy for their runway models.
“It is a really good thing, and terrific David Jones has gone on the front foot,” Kathy Ward from Sydney-based modelling agency Chic management said last night.
“It will be a disappointment to some of the girls because they are so keen and being on the catwalk for someone like David Jones is a fantastic experience,” she said.
“However it is a positive move and one that is good for the industry.”
Ms Ward said she would have to inform some of her models who had already auditioned for this season’s catwalk that they would no longer be eligible.
“I only found out myself yesterday and they will be let down.
“But it’s a good thing. The girls have to be mature and finish school and I see nothing negative in DJ’s move.”
Yes, it’s very sad for the poor little baby models and everything, but seriously? FINALLY! I for one am sick of children selling me adult clothes – at least 18 year olds are somewhat more equipped to shop in the grown-up section at DJs, which is what the Summer (and Winter) Collection parades are advertising! More » 
“I Am Not A Tattooed Drug Dealer” – Jake Wall Clarifies The Situation For Idiots
11:33AM Jess McGuire | Stupidly handsome (seriously, he makes me swoon and I should know better) celebrity boyfriend Jake Wall seems to have been bitten by the film bug after appearing in the flick Cedar Boys.
The former chippie and model will soon be seen as a hard-core crim after filming scenes in Maitland jail for the upcoming Cedar Boys flick last week.
A gritty low-budget thriller set in the western suburbs, the film is set to turn Wall’s public profile – as Hawkins’s other half – on its head.
“I really enjoyed playing that type of character, something totally opposite me,” Wall told The Daily Telegraph.
You mean you’re not a hard-core crim, Jake? Good lord. This makes your work on Cedar Boys sound dangerously close to acting.
In a refreshing display of honesty, Jake reveals he is well aware his dabbling in the world of showbiz would not have been possible were it not for the fact he is in a relationship with Jennifer Hawkins, the former Miss Universe who, due to Australia’s adorable ability to give even our most feminine of icons blokey nicknames, is occasionally referred to as Hawko.
“I don’t deny that a few of the opportunities that I’ve had wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t with Jennifer, but hopefully I have made the most of those opportunities.
“But it’s definitely not hard being her boyfriend. She’s supportive of whatever I do. And I’m supportive of what she’s doing, so it’s all good.”
Oh, go and make beautiful babies already, you two. You’re making me sick. More » 
CNN Weather Report Hijacked By Renegade Schrute
11:00AM Seth | Rainn Wilson fulfilled a lifelong fantasy Friday, and reported the weather on CNN. It’s about as thrilling as it sounds. [CNN via BWE.tv] Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo has been hanging around WeHo while he recovers from knee surgery, apparently with Scary Spice’s legs on loan until he’s back in tip-top shape. [Just Jared] Michael Bay isn’t trying to reinvent the kickass Transformers teaser wheel here, folks: Get your “Even Gianter Fucking Robots Are Coming” Transformers 2 T-shirts while they’re hot! [Slashfilm] Here’s how to hack a Chuck E. Cheese animatronic house band with terrible Usher music, to much YouTube acclaim. [detnews.com] Good news, lesbians! You can keep calling yourselves that. [BBC] We’d hate to leave you without photos of adult-contempo cretin James Blunt partying on some yacht with Coachella casualty Gary Dourdan and a bunch of randy birds. [Daily Mail] More »
As Miley Cyrus Prepares To Go Nude In New Role, Tween Rivals Challenge Her To A Strip-Off
10:35AM Molly Friedman | After many months spent posing topless in glossies, making out with girls, and staging her very own wet t-shirt photo shoots, Miley Cyrus is finally giving up on that whole innocent tween image perfected by Disney and is officially turning into Lindsay Lohan. As MSNBC reports, Cyrus is supposedly “really interested” in nabbing a role in Undiscovered Gyrl, a screen adaptation of an as-yet-unreleased novel written by Naomi Watts’ ex-fiancé. So what does the role of “Gyrl” entail? The plot of the novel revolves around an 18-year old blogger whose interests include alcohol abuse, sleeping around with as many men as possible, and reckless partying. Naturally, a part like this will require several nude scenes, meaning the 15-year old belly dancer and tween icon would finally get paid for revealing her naughty bits this time around, should she get the part. But stripping down and playing bad girls on-screen isn’t the only sign that Miley is Lindsay 2.0 — thanks to her newfound (nudity-based) fame, the underage millionaire has already launched a nasty war of words against her competition, morphing into a real-live Mean Girl overnight:
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Won’t Someone Think Of The (Theoretical) Children?
10:34AM Clem Bastow | Despite Her Blake Incarcerated remaining, well, incarcerated for the forseeable future (27 months, to be exact), apparently Amy Winehouse’s biological clock has started ticking (or it could be the egg timer she ate mid-crack-binge, thinking it was a delicious apple, but that’s anyone’s guess).
Not only that, but she wants FIVE children with her No Good™ husband. Now that’s a life goal if ever I heard one!
In an interview published today Miss Winehouse talked of the couple’s plans for a large family.
‘I want at least five kids,’ she said. ‘I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing dad.’ She said the couple wanted identical twins.
But Fielder-Civil will not be released until at least December after admitting beating up a pub landlord and attempting to pervert the course of justice.
Incidentally, when I first skimmed the headlines this morning, I misread that piece’s title as “Amy wants five children JAILED WITH Blake”.
Which, honestly, is probably just as likely to be true as the real headline is, when you think about it. After all, there was a time when Blake looked as though he feasted on the blood of virgins every full moon, so maybe it’s time for him to start again – and Amy just wants to give him the.gift that keeps on giving! More » 
