Thursday, July 17, 2008
Cadel Evans Just Can’t Get Enough Cuddly Lions
3:55PM Clem Bastow | So I probably lied a little bit when I said we wouldn’t run any more Tour de France news the other day, because Cadel Evans has gone and got his hands on the Yellow Jersey for another stage – rah rah, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Etc – and, as if by magic, there’s another hilarious shot of him emotionally hugging a stuffed lion:
Evidently it’s a sponsor thing, or maybe a mascot (you know, like Syd, Ollie and Dickhead from the Sydney Olympic Games), but I just want Cadel to keep winning, not so we can all dance in the streets about how Australians can be just as good as people from overseas, but because this has the potential to become the ‘Keep Up The Cats!’ of the second half of the year. More » 
Dolly Parton, Pope Benedict XVI, Coming Soon To Broadway!
3:49PM Clem Bastow | It seems Papal fever is still infecting the editors and photo editors of our country’s fine digital newspapers! They just can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet Catholicism!
Reader Daniel forwarded us The Age’s ‘Entertainment News’ e-newsletter, adding, “You know, when I think of Broadway musicals and Dolly Parton, my mind also goes immediately to the Pope.”
This is what he was referring to:
You know, people will say this is just the photo equivalent of a typo, but I think there’s something deeper happening here – I get it, Benedict looks just like Dolly!
Top work, The Age! Keep up the Catholic cats! More » 
Is Barbara Walters Macaulay Culkin’s ‘Constant’?
11:05AM Mark Graham | The answer is probably no, but that didn’t stop Seth Green from stumping Barbara Walters with what will surely go down as one of the slyest Lost resets you’ll ever see worked into a talk show appearance. Also? We sincerely hope that someone breaks out the webcam when Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets around to watching Party Monster. That would make for the mother of all YouTube reaction videos. [The View] Speaking of former child stars, looks like Family Ties replacement kid Brian Bonsall has fallen on some tough times. [People] The Daily Show, whose track record for promoting female talent makes Lorne Michaels look like Helen Gurley Brown, is about to lose what little amount of female talent they have on staff. Emmy winner Rachel Axler, the only female writer they had on staff, will be making her way to the greener pastures of network TV as a writer for that Office spin-off that isn’t really a spin-off. [Videogum] Character actor extraordinaire Larry Miller walks through some of his most memorable “Hey, It’s That Guy” roles with The Onion’s A/V Club. [A/V Club] I guess we can cross Claire Danes off the list of potential guest stars for the next season of Entourage. After all, we all know how much Johnny Drama hates top talls. [Best Week Ever] More »
Bonetastic: Channel Nine Eyes ‘Big Brother’
10:50AM Clem Bastow | This may well be the definitive Channel Nine-related news item of all time, in the context of Channel Nine having the annus horribilis to end all annuses horribilis: the network is considering picking up the dead-in-the-water Big Brother franchise!
Yes, in the television business equivalent of eating roadkill or taking a corpse to your school formal hoping to get lucky, Nine is eyeing the cancelled reality show as a possible revamp candidate for Nine’s 2009 line-up.
“It’s run its race in its present form,” Nine chief executive David Gyngell said yesterday, The Australian reports.
“I still think it has some life in it in another form. Channel Nine will be looking at it.”
The eight-year-old reality show ends on the Ten Network on Monday night.
Nine will hold talks with owners Endemol Southern Star about an overhaul.
“Big Brother was a very good show at its height and it is useful for the economic benefit it brings,” Mr Gyngell said.
He is the only network chief interested in picking up the format. The Seven Network and Foxtel declined.
See that, Gyngell? Declined – no one else wants it for a reason! It’s stale! Finished! Kaput! Irrelevant!
Actually, I think I’ve just hit the nail on the head – that makes it perfect for Channel Nine! Carry on, then.
More » 
Bret Michaels Set To Gift Third ‘Rock Of Love’ Soulmate With Future In MySpace Famewhoredom
10:25AM Molly Friedman | Sometimes we don’t know whether to thank VH1 for trying to “find true love” for washed up musicians or to strangle them for forcing us through yet another round of Bret Michaels: Rock Of Love (working title: Rock Of Love: Really, I’ll Do Anyone At This Point). Yes, that sad series partially responsible for rendering all glass ceilings unbreakable is back and, this time, well, no, he’s probably still not serious. Why so cynical? Well, his last “winner,” 99-year old Chicago anchor chick Ambre Lake, lasted just under a day. But she did get the chance to really pimp her MySpace profile with dirty pics, exclamation mark-happy updates on Bret’s CW appearances (!!!), and a heartfelt blog entry promising the “3rd time will be a charm!!!” Yes, spelling-challenged Ambre, we bet it will. You know, because this time, all the barely clothed contestants will be forced to live in…wait for it…the same tightly confined tour bus! If you don’t smell love in the air, you’ve been dipping in to too many of these “ladies”‘ stashes: More »
Who Knew? The Top 10 Unlikely Vocal Performances From Non-Singing Actors
10:00AM Seth | In light of Pierce Brosnan’s brave, warbling turn in Mamma Mia—as well as recent news that Kate Hudson would veer off the Bongo Romcom highway to explore the musical theatre side roads in Rob Marshall’s Nine—Defamer videologist Molly McAleer has compiled a countdown of 10 Classic Musical Crossover Performances. We’ve ordered these from least to most successful; some of these actors-who-sing are arguably better singers than they are actors, and have gone on to cut their own records. Some are clearly better actors than singers. And some should probably just give up both and become something sensible like a dental hygienist or insurance broker. We have no doubt you have your own strong opinions on notable omissions; feel free to post video in the comments. More »
‘Wear R Da Hot Student Babes 4 Me Lol?’: Warney’s Big Night Out
9:54AM Clem Bastow | Just when you thought Shane Warne’s slightly tragic days of womanising were over, and it was all about wearing amazing sunglasses and playing in celebrity poker tournaments and saving orphaned kittens stuck in trees and stuff, well, I guess you were wrong.
Evidently Mr Baked Beans has been out on the tiles in London – and at nothing less than a students’ hangout! Top work, Warnie!
The 38-year-old sportsman enjoyed a solo night out at the exclusive Mahiki club in London’s posh Mayfair – a popular haunt with young royals and Girls Aloud members.
Despite his infamous reputation as a wild ladies man, Warne left the club alone, possibly after realising he was nearly 20 years older than most of the clientele.
So far so disappointing, but the best part of this whole story is the second photo The Daily Mail have included in the story:The caption reads “Shane Warne ignores the pretty young females outside the club“, but I think the look on Shane’s face says something more like “Don’t look at their bums, don’t look at their bums, don’t look at their bums… Oh Jesus, I accidentally looked at her bosom… Okay, focus, focus, look at that interesting building across the street… Just keep moving…”
Shane Warne, Defamer Australia salutes you! And then asks you where you’ve been and who you’ve been out with at this time of the morning, and tells you your dinner is cold and sitting in the oven and you can sleep on the couch tonight. More » 
Free Spirited Isabel Commended For Relationship, Green Credentials
9:41AM Clem Bastow | It must be a day of “wowee, the big grownup overseas people think Australians are good, let’s all have another helping of strawberry icecream” sort of news, because it just won’t quit!
Confidential is excited to inform us that Isabel Lucas will be celebrated in an upcoming issue of US InStyle magazine, for being green and in a couple, or something.
I better stop before I tell the whole story myself:
[T]he recognition is more for being green than her talents on screen – Lucas and her boyfriend Adrian Grenier have made the mag’s cut alongside Blanchett and Andrew Upton in their top 10 most environmentally friendly star couples.
Described as “a match made in hippy heaven”, Lucas and Grenier are winning Hollywood popularity points for embracing the green theme.
Hooray! Another Australian has been okayed overseas, now we can celebrate, safe in the knowledge that we really are special! Tofutti Cuties for everyone! Hempalicious! Dunk me in vegan non-dairy creamer and call me the Soy Milkybar Kid!
…And that’s pretty much all I’ve got. More » 
Delta’s Postmodern US Talk Show Fantasy Continues
9:35AM Clem Bastow | It seems that her previous dead-end attempts to conquer the US market are but a thing of the past now that Delta is attacking the press rounds in the States with the sort of one-eyed determination (and hair style) that makes me think of Nicole Kidman in To Die For.
First odious gossip blogger Perez Hilton described Delta and Potato as “like Barbie and Ken” (and no, I’m not linking to him) and now she’s set to do the rounds on the talkshows. Sayeth Confidential:
Goodrem, hitting the airwaves in New York to promote the album, scored a guest spot on the high-rating talk show The View.
Luke Dennehy reports from New York that she will film her guest spot on the show tomorrow. The View is hosted by veteran American TV news queen Barbara Walters and features Whoopi Goldberg on the panel.
Goodrem is also pencilled in to appear on the powerful David Letterman Show.
Well, gee, go Delta, or something.
Am I the only person who is massively underwhelmed by Delta and doesn’t really care if she makes it stateside or not? Is that un-Australian? Do I not understand mateship? Should I eat more BBQ’d shrimps?? More » 
