So I probably lied a little bit when I said we wouldn't run any more Tour de France news the other day, because Cadel Evans has gone and got his hands on the Yellow Jersey for another stage - rah rah, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Etc - and, as if by magic, there's another hilarious shot of him emotionally hugging a stuffed lion:

Evidently it's a sponsor thing, or maybe a mascot (you know, like Syd, Ollie and Dickhead from the Sydney Olympic Games), but I just want Cadel to keep winning, not so we can all dance in the streets about how Australians can be just as good as people from overseas, but because this has the potential to become the 'Keep Up The Cats!' of the second half of the year.

It seems Papal fever is still infecting the editors and photo editors of our country's fine digital newspapers! They just can't get enough of that sweet, sweet Catholicism!

Reader Daniel forwarded us The Age's 'Entertainment News' e-newsletter, adding, "You know, when I think of Broadway musicals and Dolly Parton, my mind also goes immediately to the Pope."

This is what he was referring to:

You know, people will say this is just the photo equivalent of a typo, but I think there's something deeper happening here - I get it, Benedict looks just like Dolly!

Top work, The Age! Keep up the Catholic cats!

· The answer is probably no, but that didn't stop Seth Green from stumping Barbara Walters with what will surely go down as one of the slyest Lost resets you'll ever see worked into a talk show appearance. Also? We sincerely hope that someone breaks out the webcam when Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets around to watching Party Monster. That would make for the mother of all YouTube reaction videos. [The View]
· Speaking of former child stars, looks like Family Ties replacement kid Brian Bonsall has fallen on some tough times. [People]
· The Daily Show, whose track record for promoting female talent makes Lorne Michaels look like Helen Gurley Brown, is about to lose what little amount of female talent they have on staff. Emmy winner Rachel Axler, the only female writer they had on staff, will be making her way to the greener pastures of network TV as a writer for that Office spin-off that isn't really a spin-off. [Videogum]
· Character actor extraordinaire Larry Miller walks through some of his most memorable "Hey, It's That Guy" roles with The Onion's A/V Club. [A/V Club]
· I guess we can cross Claire Danes off the list of potential guest stars for the next season of Entourage. After all, we all know how much Johnny Drama hates top talls. [Best Week Ever]

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This may well be the definitive Channel Nine-related news item of all time, in the context of Channel Nine having the annus horribilis to end all annuses horribilis: the network is considering picking up the dead-in-the-water Big Brother franchise!

Yes, in the television business equivalent of eating roadkill or taking a corpse to your school formal hoping to get lucky, Nine is eyeing the cancelled reality show as a possible revamp candidate for Nine's 2009 line-up.

"It's run its race in its present form," Nine chief executive David Gyngell said yesterday, The Australian reports.

"I still think it has some life in it in another form. Channel Nine will be looking at it."

The eight-year-old reality show ends on the Ten Network on Monday night.

Nine will hold talks with owners Endemol Southern Star about an overhaul.

"Big Brother was a very good show at its height and it is useful for the economic benefit it brings," Mr Gyngell said.

He is the only network chief interested in picking up the format. The Seven Network and Foxtel declined.

See that, Gyngell? Declined - no one else wants it for a reason! It's stale! Finished! Kaput! Irrelevant!

Actually, I think I've just hit the nail on the head - that makes it perfect for Channel Nine! Carry on, then.

Sometimes we don't know whether to thank VH1 for trying to "find true love" for washed up musicians or to strangle them for forcing us through yet another round of Bret Michaels: Rock Of Love (working title: Rock Of Love: Really, I'll Do Anyone At This Point). Yes, that sad series partially responsible for rendering all glass ceilings unbreakable is back and, this time, well, no, he's probably still not serious. Why so cynical? Well, his last "winner," 99-year old Chicago anchor chick Ambre Lake, lasted just under a day. But she did get the chance to really pimp her MySpace profile with dirty pics, exclamation mark-happy updates on Bret's CW appearances (!!!), and a heartfelt blog entry promising the "3rd time will be a charm!!!" Yes, spelling-challenged Ambre, we bet it will. You know, because this time, all the barely clothed contestants will be forced to live in...wait for it...the same tightly confined tour bus! If you don't smell love in the air, you've been dipping in to too many of these "ladies"' stashes:

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In light of Pierce Brosnan's brave, warbling turn in Mamma Mia—as well as recent news that Kate Hudson would veer off the Bongo Romcom highway to explore the musical theatre side roads in Rob Marshall's Nine—Defamer videologist Molly McAleer has compiled a countdown of 10 Classic Musical Crossover Performances. We've ordered these from least to most successful; some of these actors-who-sing are arguably better singers than they are actors, and have gone on to cut their own records. Some are clearly better actors than singers. And some should probably just give up both and become something sensible like a dental hygienist or insurance broker. We have no doubt you have your own strong opinions on notable omissions; feel free to post video in the comments.

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Just when you thought Shane Warne's slightly tragic days of womanising were over, and it was all about wearing amazing sunglasses and playing in celebrity poker tournaments and saving orphaned kittens stuck in trees and stuff, well, I guess you were wrong.

Evidently Mr Baked Beans has been out on the tiles in London - and at nothing less than a students' hangout! Top work, Warnie!

The 38-year-old sportsman enjoyed a solo night out at the exclusive Mahiki club in London's posh Mayfair - a popular haunt with young royals and Girls Aloud members.

Despite his infamous reputation as a wild ladies man, Warne left the club alone, possibly after realising he was nearly 20 years older than most of the clientele.

So far so disappointing, but the best part of this whole story is the second photo The Daily Mail have included in the story:

The caption reads "Shane Warne ignores the pretty young females outside the club", but I think the look on Shane's face says something more like "Don't look at their bums, don't look at their bums, don't look at their bums... Oh Jesus, I accidentally looked at her bosom... Okay, focus, focus, look at that interesting building across the street... Just keep moving..."

Shane Warne, Defamer Australia salutes you! And then asks you where you've been and who you've been out with at this time of the morning, and tells you your dinner is cold and sitting in the oven and you can sleep on the couch tonight.

It must be a day of "wowee, the big grownup overseas people think Australians are good, let's all have another helping of strawberry icecream" sort of news, because it just won't quit!

Confidential is excited to inform us that Isabel Lucas will be celebrated in an upcoming issue of US InStyle magazine, for being green and in a couple, or something.

I better stop before I tell the whole story myself:

[T]he recognition is more for being green than her talents on screen - Lucas and her boyfriend Adrian Grenier have made the mag's cut alongside Blanchett and Andrew Upton in their top 10 most environmentally friendly star couples.

Described as "a match made in hippy heaven", Lucas and Grenier are winning Hollywood popularity points for embracing the green theme.

Hooray! Another Australian has been okayed overseas, now we can celebrate, safe in the knowledge that we really are special! Tofutti Cuties for everyone! Hempalicious! Dunk me in vegan non-dairy creamer and call me the Soy Milkybar Kid!

...And that's pretty much all I've got.

It seems that her previous dead-end attempts to conquer the US market are but a thing of the past now that Delta is attacking the press rounds in the States with the sort of one-eyed determination (and hair style) that makes me think of Nicole Kidman in To Die For.

First odious gossip blogger Perez Hilton described Delta and Potato as "like Barbie and Ken" (and no, I'm not linking to him) and now she's set to do the rounds on the talkshows. Sayeth Confidential:

Goodrem, hitting the airwaves in New York to promote the album, scored a guest spot on the high-rating talk show The View.

Luke Dennehy reports from New York that she will film her guest spot on the show tomorrow. The View is hosted by veteran American TV news queen Barbara Walters and features Whoopi Goldberg on the panel.

Goodrem is also pencilled in to appear on the powerful David Letterman Show.

Well, gee, go Delta, or something.

Am I the only person who is massively underwhelmed by Delta and doesn't really care if she makes it stateside or not? Is that un-Australian? Do I not understand mateship? Should I eat more BBQ'd shrimps??

If you are anything like us, when you first learned of Andy Dick's arrest outside Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta early this morning, your first reaction was this: "Buffalo Wild Wings?" followed shortly thereafter by, "Murrieta?" Thankfully, this KCAL report filed from the scene of the alleged teen-fondling crime fills in all the missing pieces. SEE! The depressing cookie-cutter suburban shopping centre parking lot! HEAR! The reporter describe Dick as "intoxicated" and having "urinated." THRILL! To the Buffalo Wild Wings patio furniture. We understand a portion of the proceeds from every order of a dozen garlic suicides sold tonight goes to the local Andy Dick Bike-By-Groping Victims' Network.

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It's hard to stifle the inevitable groans that rumble deep inside whenever a) an Australian is nominated for (and thus, doesn't win) an award overseas, or b) in this case, gets a dubious honour in some sort of top fifty things since the beginning of stuff, usually organised by a telco or a bread company.

In this case, congratulations to Kylie Minogue for "scraping in" the top ten of a poll of best pop singles ever, organised by... onepoll.com!

You know, onepoll.com! Those guys!

Kylie Minogue's hit - Can't Get You Out Of My Head - has been named in the top 10 pop songs of all time.

In a survey of 10,000 people, Queen song Bohemian Rhapsody - which twice made number one in the UK singles chart - beat tracks from Bryan Adams, Robbie Williams and John Lennon to take the prestigious top spot. Kylie's hit scraped in the list, coming in tenth place.

Commenting on the results, survey organiser John Sewell from onepoll.com said: "We got a worthy winner."

Hahaha, this is entertainment news? (And before you lot up the back say something snide, it's our "thing" to make news out of non-news, via the meta-ness of commenting on its inherent non-newsworthiness, so ner.)

Let's start an online poll at one of those "make a poll 4 ur MySpace!!" sites, and see if we can get it in the news.com.au entertainment section, shall we? Anyone got any ideas?

It turns out we may have attributed the day's Screenwriter Dream Come True to Justin Theroux too soon — we hadn't yet browsed the news that Steven Spielberg anointed Diablo Cody to adapt another one of his stories as a comedy for DreamWorks, and we hadn't heard Seth Rogen's indirect riposte to the idea that he and his colleagues should deign to working with... well, he just tells the story better:

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Half the stories on this sluggish midsummer news day seem to concern the same bad idea at CBS: Jingles, the Mark Burnett-produced product placement platform reality series squaring songwriters off against each other in the pursuit of... the perfect ad jingle. We can't make this up, folks, and even if we could we probably wouldn't want to — especially not the part in which the newsworthiest elements of the show are its judges: A kerfuffle-plagued, ex-Wal-Mart marketing guru and — seriously, we're too exhausted/sad/Dark Knighted-out to fuck with you — Gene Simmons:

Simmons will be joined by an "advisory panel"€ that include Madison Avenue gurus Linda Kaplan Thaler and Julie Roehm. But Simmons will be the final authority on the show who decides which contestants are eliminated each week.

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Isn't it strange how that rare affliction of being mystically "unable" to gain weight only strikes female celebrities? It seems poor Megan Fox has that very woe to deal with atop her many other personal struggles, like pretending her engagement to one-earring trendmaker Brian Austin Green is still on, and trying ever so desperately to let a director (any director!) just film her nude already. But the newly "scrawny" Fox has reportedly been chastised about her skinny frame by Transformers 2 director Michael Bay, who has demanded that the busty Jolie successor put on 10 pounds or find a new gig. While Megan's resorted to stuffing herself with cake every night in bed, we might suggest the Anne Hathaway Quick Speed Diet: apparently breaking up with a grade A loser leads to dropping 28 pounds in no time!

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· Baby Mama's supporting womb Amy Poehler is in "final negotiations" to star in the "don't-call-it-a-spinoff" The Office spinoff. Said Poehler, "The second I heard Aziz Ansari had already signed on, it really just became a matter of 'when do we start?'" [Variety]
· Most annoyingly overhyped project ever (and it's still just a script! Barely a glimmer of a storyboard in its amorous father Quentin Tarantino's eye) Inglorious Bastards is said to now be considering Leo DiCaprio to star, in addition to Brad Pitt. Also on their shortlist: Marlon Brando, Charlie Chaplin, and Jesus Christ. [Variety]
· Wait a second—Desperate Housewives is actually committing to the whole jump-ahead-five-years gimmick used in the season finale? We guess so, as all the kids on the show have been replaced by teenage actors. Maybe that's what Grey's Anatomy can do with Katherine Heigl: Set next season in 2118, where all your friends at Seattle Grace enjoys the benefits of a miraculous age-freezing pill, except Izzie, who didn't sign up for trials. (And died of natural causes at 86.) [THR]
· Lost writer Craig Rosenberg will make his feature directorial debut with The Panopticon, about "a medical salesman who receives a mysterious videotape from himself telling him the world will end and that he must stop it." [THR]
· Fox has ordered a presentation for Sincerely, Ted L. Nancy, a non-scripted comedy based on the popular disgruntled-consumer-fights-back Letters From A Nut books, an inferior retread of Don Novello's classic The Lazlo Letters. [THR]

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Like most celebrants of cinema's smoldering, dangerous geek-stud archetype, we've been following actor Justin Theroux's career arc for a while — mostly in front of the camera, obviously, where his roles in Mullholland Drive, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Six Feet Under and elsewhere yielded a batch of performances we presumed would catapult him to the A-list sooner or later. But now it's just getting ridiculous, as we're learning that Theroux just nabbed one of the most desirable writing gigs in Hollywood: Iron Man 2.

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Made to address rumours that Grey's Anatomy writers' room dartboard pinup-girl Katherine Heigl might not survive the coming season, ABC head Steve McPherson had this to say: ""She won an Emmy last year, she's a fantastically talented actress,' McPherson says. 'I think it's unfortunate when there's any kind of turmoil on that show. There's so many people who work so incredibly hard to make that show the No. 1 show in the country. I never like to see when any of them take it lightly. She's absolutely staying with the show. There's an unbelievable story line for her next season. Shonda Rhimes is excited about that, she actually crafted it.'" That's good news for Izzie Stevens fans, but doesn't entirely rule out the possibility that this personally crafted storyline won't involve the character being mauled beyond recognition by a freak deer attack while sleeping quietly at home. [James Hibberd's The Live Feed, Photo Credit: INF]

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After surviving months of Dark Knight hype, viral outreach and tastefully overblown praise for late co-star Heath Ledger, Defamer finally got its chance at a screening Tuesday to see what all the Bat-fuss was about. And as editor Seth Abramovitch and senior editor S.T. VanAirsdale discovered in their second installment of Defamer Instant Reviews, not everybody is ready to validate its Second Coming status quite yet. Is it good? Absolutely. Is it the best film of the summer? That's where things get complicated — on AIM, of course, because this watershed cultural moment deserves no less.
Follow the jump for their respective two cents — mostly spoiler-free for even the most casual followers of the film, and naturally among the finest criticism available anywhere online.

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Yesterday, we noted a Gawker item suggesting that Molly McNearney, who swiftly ascended the Jimmy Kimmel Live! ranks from lowly Chinese Theatre Chewbacca-wrangling assistant to that show's head writer, had been the woman who came between Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. A Defamer tipster who knows McNearny wrote us to say this couldn't be further from the truth:

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The Daily Mail, that notorious rag that deconstructs celebrity faces and performs detailed analyses of every miniscule wrinkle, inflated pout, and sagging rump, has finally turned its eagle eyes towards Sarah Jessica Parker. And unlike fellow plastic surgery obsessed sites, the tab has gone beyond simply accusing the SATC behemoth of getting nips and tucks, choosing instead to focus on the famously anti-surgical enhancement star's cute, albeit sizable, mole above her chin. You see, the British body part attack squad spotted a recent photo of SJP taken at last night's MLB All-Star Game and jumped to the thrilling conclusion that the actress has had her trademark imperfection — the one that inspired Rex Reed to spend an entire paragraph of his mean-spirited SATC review begging her to laser off — removed once and for all. But paired with Parker's decade-long (sometimes downright bitchy) assault on peers who dare halt the aging process with needles and knives, the photo in question does little to convince us Sarah Jessica is guilty of anything more than having enough money to hire a proper makeup artist:

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Andy Dick wears many hats: substance-friendly pansexualist, loving dad, and infrequent cannibal. We can add to that list chicken-wingery-parking-lot-felon, as the comedian was arrested at 2 a.m., found allegedly fondling a teenager in a van parked outside Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Murrieta. From TMZ:

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If there was any doubt that the Paramount Vantage you know and love or maybe just really like — the art-house darling responsible for An Inconvenient Truth, Babel, Margot at the Wedding, There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men (the latter two co-produced by Miramax) — was done for, please direct your sad eyes toward the front door. There you'll find Amy Israel, handing over her ID badge before fleeing her post as VP of production and acquisitions.

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Life is rough these days for Verne Troyer, the diminutive, sex-tape-making, back-tax-owing (allegedly), bomb-starring actor whose bout with the tabloids took an introspective turn Tuesday in an interview with E! Denying he had anything to do with the "unauthorized" release of his videotaped tongue-stabbing of ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider, a sober Troyer inventoried Shrider's motivations for supposedly dropping the tryst at TMZ's doorstep — and, in the process, both defused and started harrowing rumours we could have gone the rest of our lives without conjuring:

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