Saturday, July 12, 2008
Hellos and Goodbyes
12:00PM Defamer Hollywood | Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno exploits took him from Israel to Arkansas; his Sherlock Holmes adventures to come may or may not include the missus. AFTRA ratified its new contract, but SAG didn’t let that spoil its appetite for destruction. Harvey Weinstein is now officially going door-to-door to finance his films. Psst! Buddy! Wanna buy a Tarantino? The TV Critics Association Press Tour is dead. Long live the TCA Press Tour! Lest major Dark Knight spoilers aren’t up your alley, there’s always Michael Bay’s unproduced Awesome Knight screenplay to hold you over another week. After a long string of compatibility issues, Drew Barrymore is on the market for a Mac huckster upgrade. This Week In Magazine Cover Hell: Blake Lively gets the blown-out Skeletor treatment, while the pasty youths of Twilight make EW safe for chest hair. Here’s the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely RRRAAALLLLPPPHHHHH Defamer’s readers joined Matthew McConaughey in welcoming a bouncing Bongo Romcom to the world. Meanwhile in France, stinky, salmon-devouring, “high-maintenance beetch” Angelina Jolie prepared her post-twinbirth conditioning regimen. Two words: Hula hoop. Pick your reality TV poison for 2009: America’s Greatest Dog or The Ashley Dupre Governor Boink Variety Hour. We wished a healthy recovery (literally) to the rat-friendly Newsroom Cafe, and bid a fond farewell to J-Lo’s slice of Pasadena paradise, Madre’s.
Kathy Griffin Orders A Lauren Conrad Hit On National TV
11:45AM Seth | Sorry to ladle on the Kathy Griffin today, but did she just tell Jay Leno she wants to shoot the cast of The Hills dead? So, basically, if any John Hinckley-type admirers out there are looking for some spectacular gesture of devotion, you’ve just received your marching orders. [Tonight Show] Lede of the Day: “Ronnie Wood has walked out on his wife and four children to live with a teenage cocktail waitress he met in an escort bar.” [Daily Mail] The real Jaws town of Amity had two beaches shut down after an unconfirmed Great White sighting. Then George Lucas appeared in a Speedo to ruin a beloved memory for everyone. [AP] Brett Ratner is bringing together the hottest Jewesses on Earth to pose in your 5769 Hebraic Hotties swimsuit calendar. [Page Six] Bleepers, start your engines: Joan Rivers will be competing in the second season of Celebrity Apprentice. [HuffPo] Hey: Unicorn-Aids! (Not what you’re thinking, sickies.) [Perpetualkid.com] More »
Oh Joyous Day! Celebrate Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson’s 4 Month Anniversary With Us
11:25AM Defamer Hollywood | While you’re celebrating another Friday with Irish car bombs, smokes, and An Actor’s Guide to Manorexia (or tequila, for those of you who aren’t Colin Farrell), perhaps you don’t realise we all have a much bigger reason to celebrate today – it’s Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s four month anniversary! As with all immature 15-year-olds, these two lovebirds are professing their love via text message. But words alone will never portray true love (suck it, Shakespeare), they need the stuff! So kick back with a bottle of Cuervo, and allow us to present our Top 10 Gift Ideas for this adorably new couple! More »
The Downtown Art Walk Review (In Which I Pretend I Know Fuck-all About Art)
11:10AM Defamer Hollywood | As an ex-New Yorker who is brand spanking new to L.A., the concept of downtown being a dead zone is quite strange. And having only driven through late at night (going the wrong way, on a one-way street, natch) I was curious to see what an L.A. downtown art walk would be like (held every second Thursday of the month from 12 to 9). Art Walks in Seattle’s Pioneer Square were fun, but were too often filled with “Look ma, I has knitted you a rainbow hat!”–a/k/a bad hippie art. And the Chelsea Art Walks in NYC were impenetrable and thick with snobbery and unintentional comedy: rich people wearing all black, posing seriously in front of pictures with their heads cocked just so to the sides. L.A.’s version proved to be far more pleasant and interesting–exhilarating even. Won’t you join along as I take you on a photographic tour? More »
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Has Exciting Arc Planned For Katherine Heigl In Which She Drops Dead
10:55AM Seth | The ongoing mutual loathfest between notoriously stroppy film and TV star Katherine Heigl and the producers of Grey’s Anatomy reaches a hateration crescendo with rumours that her character will have the plot equivalent of a soft hospital pillow (or maybe an actual one) pressed onto her face by showrunner Shonda Rhimes until all of her limbs stop flailing, at which point her lifeless corpse will be free to pursue whatever big screen pursuits it so pleases. From EOnline.com: More »
Miley Cyrus Already Referring To Herself In The Third Person
10:40AM Defamer Hollywood | At the tender age of 15, Miley Cyrus has already amassed more money in her ING savings account than most of us will ever see in our lifetimes. It seems that she’s also beginning to amass a bit of what we in the business like to call an a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e, too. Just ask gossip maven (and burgeoning longhaired hippie) Harvey Levin, who nearly spits out an entire mouthful of whatever he slurps out of that beloved plastic sippy-cup of his when one of his young, muscular and totally single lieutenants informs him that Hannah Montana herself no longer uses the first grammatical person in her speech. Moments of levity like these, dear readers, are brought to each and every week as part of Defamer’s Dirt Sandwich, which is back after a one week holiday hiatus. As always, the piece is packed with nothing but the freshest clips and is crafted with tender loving care by our own Molly McAleer. Take a bite, won’t you? WATCH VIDEO More »
Heisman Trophy Winner’s Fun Day At Six Flags Ruined By Souvenir Slur
10:00AM Seth | You really have to pity the career caricaturist. If your drawing hand isn’t already trembling at the thought of successfully capturing a USC legend/Saints Messiah, you always run the risk of making him look like the mascot for some racist snack packaging from the 1920s. More »
‘Where The Wild Things Are’ Gets New Release Date: Never
9:40AM Defamer Hollywood | We hoped you liked the clip “test footage” of Spike Jonze’s troubled adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, which made the rounds in February amid rumours of the $75 million film’s slow demise at Warner Bros. We’re reading now that that may be all you see for at least a few more years while Jonze tinkers and tweaks on Warners’ watch, prompting Alan Horn to offer an update today to his bloggy BFF Patrick Goldstein. More »
Tom Cruise and The Bizarre Gifts That Keep Giving (Giving His Friends The Creeps, That Is)
9:20AM Molly Friedman | What fun it must be to have a baby, get married, or turn one year older if you’re lucky enough to be chummy with Village People Fan Club president Tom Cruise. As a card-carrying member of Tom’s inner circle of disco-dancing Xenu-fearing tribe of pals, new mum Nicole Kidman had the joy of receiving one of Cruise’s trademark lavish gifts — as People reports, the birth of little Sunday Urban prompted Nicole’s ex-partner in bearded crime to send over a huge “high-end” gift basket filled to the brim with fancy baby must-haves. But after reviewing Tom’s history of gifting his nearest and dearest with incredibly bizarre and, at times, inappropriate items, we suspect his inclusion of “Giraffe baby blankets” might actually be a subtle swipe at Kidman’s tendency to resemble the long-necked drowsy animal. Cruise’s unnerving presents of the past to fellow Tom-ophiles like Dakota Fanning and Katie Holmes, after the jump.
