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'10,' 'Valley Girl' Lead Charge as Terrifying Remake Fever Grips Hollywood
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:20 AM on July 19, 2008
Because the week wasn't ruined enough with RoboCop news and word of Gene Simmons judging ad jingles, the End of Ideas caravan rolls on today with not one, not two but three whole fucking remake concepts for us to dread — none more irritating than Hyde Park's reimagining of Blake Edwards's classic 10. It's not that the Dudley Moore/Bo Derek comedy is untouchable, but at least Edwards doesn't have hold it down while the new producers rape it:
After a long campaign to get Edwards to entrust them, the producers have already met with agencies to package the romantic comedy. They hope to engage in a global search for a newcomer to play the new "10."
"Blake's timeless original encapsulated the fallacy of 'the grass is always greener' in relationships," said (Hyde Park chairman Ashok) Amritraj.
And someday some genius will pick up the same principal in a mockumentary of a fork-tongued producer who finds God after experimentating lazy shit like this — or, maybe even more appalling depending on whose hands it falls into, the musical remake of Valley Girl. The 1983 film no doubt shows its age these days, featuring a very young Nicolas Cage and a classic soundtrack that won't likely survive the Hairspray-ing the film will undergo at MGM — i.e., no Plimsouls cameos, folks. Sorry!
Finally comes Papillon, the 1973 Steve McQueen/Dustin Hoffman prison drama that we're probably most comfortable with seeing rebooted — preferably with Daniel Craig as the title character, on whose tale of escape from Devil's Island the film was based. If the producers, including Gladiator's Branko Lustig, dare to reuse Dalton Trumbo and Lorenzo Semple's screenplay, we might even bless this, but we know better: Stephen Sommers will probably be attached by Monday.
- MGM high on 'Valley Girl' comedy [Variety]
- Hyde Park to remake '10' [Variety]
- Producers team for 'Papillon' redo [Variety]
Tags: 10 | blake edwards' | bo derek | cage" | dudley moore | dustin hoffman | nicolas | papillon | steve mcqueen | the end of ideas | valley girl
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
NoGrumpys
Posted 6:54 AM 19/7/08
Sign me up for the Valley girl remake
I was there in 1983 I'll do it again
(cue Homer Simpson)ugggghhhhhh - EG Daily's BREASTS!!!!
NoGrumpys
WGARefugee
Posted 6:53 AM 19/7/08
I think the apocalypse officially began when Ridley Scott was announced as the director of the Monopoly movie.
WGARefugee
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 6:47 AM 19/7/08
Branko Lustig? That's a real person? Are you sure it's not a Sascha Cohen character?
Tiger_Tanaka
StevieQ
Posted 6:41 AM 19/7/08
@Oxycontinmoron: Yes, and perhaps Will Ferrell as Sheriff Buford, Mike Mysers and Big Enos, and Mini-Me as Little Enos?
StevieQ
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 6:40 AM 19/7/08
Valley Girl...musical...MGM...nooooooo....
Little Mintz Sunshine
MCU
Posted 6:36 AM 19/7/08
Ashok Amritraj? Good lord. I know the guy's been trying to fight his way toward respectability as of late, but still: isn't entrusting a comedy classic with him like entrusting your kitten with someone who, well, has a reputation for eating kittens?
MCU
harshmellow
Posted 6:31 AM 19/7/08
Ahh, Plimsouls. Since I no longer have my original tape*, I might just look and see if anyone put their stuff on CD...
*Yes, tape dammit!
harshmellow
Old No.7
Posted 6:31 AM 19/7/08
Hollywood has officially managed to suck its' own dick, and will never leave the house again.
Old No.7
Oxycontinmoron
Posted 6:28 AM 19/7/08
Personally, I'm looking forward to the remake of the "Smokey and the Bear" franchise with Ashton Kutscher and Selma Blair filling the Burt Reynolds and Sally Fields roles respectively.
Oxycontinmoron
Barbarella
Posted 7:32 AM 19/7/08
@StevieQ: Verne would be Boss Hogg.
Barbarella
Cam/ron
Posted 7:59 AM 19/7/08
Re: "10," the problem is that Hollywood now lacks a lovable and somewhat pitiful drunk like Dudley Moore.
Cam/ron
tonashideska
Posted 7:50 AM 19/7/08
Dream cast for 10 remake:
Jenny Hanley: Katherine Heigl
George Webber: Verne Troyer
Samantha Taylor: Angelina Jolie
tonashideska
raincoaster
Posted 8:05 AM 19/7/08
Actually, that Papillon remake sounds kinda fabulous, but ONLY if they can get Daniel Craig or Gerard Butler for it.
raincoaster
gwendemarco
Posted 8:43 AM 19/7/08
"After a long campaign to get Edwards to entrust them..."
Translation - secured financing enough to back filled Brink's truck into Malibu garage with promise that film won't actually premiere until he dies.
gwendemarco
Old No.7
Posted 9:04 AM 19/7/08
@Cam/ron: I volunteer.
Old No.7
jerebo
Posted 9:03 AM 19/7/08
How about Corey Haim?
jerebo
WGARefugee
Posted 8:54 AM 19/7/08
@Cam/ron: Two words: Russell Brand.
WGARefugee
Cam/ron
Posted 10:01 AM 19/7/08
Come to think of it, what was Moore's vice during his "Arthur" schtick? Martinis? Everclear? Pabst?
Cam/ron
Public Relations
Posted 5:53 PM 19/7/08
We personally liked 'Miss Columbia' who was the first runner up in this years Miss Universe Contest
Public Relations
gwendolyn
Posted 5:58 AM 20/7/08
Remake these three? Why not? After all, it's not like anyone in the prime moviegoing demographic has even HEARD of any of them. Gee, look at the huge box office the remake of 'Sabrina' garnered back in the '90's.
Hell, yeah. And while you're at it, there hasn't been a remake of 'Anna Cristie' or 'The Sheik' and they both just scream 'Box Office Record Breakers'.
gwendolyn