Tuesday, July 8, 2008
This Is Probably The Greatest Song Of All Time
4:11PM Jess McGuire | It occurred to me this morning that I don’t share nearly enough of my borderline psychotic pop culture tastes with you, loyal readers. Sure, you probably picked up on the fact I was in the midst of an Icehouse ‘Electric Blue’ obsession back in February but is that enough? Surely I should be offering you delicious slices of spazztasical idiocy on a more regular basis? After all, I have been officially quoted in a proper grown up paper as saying “I love so much but maybe it is all about shit … Who knew?” so there’s no hiding it now.
Therefore, please breathe deeply, load the following video, and suck up the goodness that is Phil Collins’ ‘Don’t Lose My Number’.
This is not a guilty pleasure, mind you. I genuinely think the song is GENIUS. Melodramatic, totally eighties, and a killer tune to spin when you’re DJ-ing (well, anywhere but an Absolut 15 competition where you’re catering to the tastes of vodka swilling coolsies who will respond to your selection with an expression that can best be described as a mix of confusion and contempt, as DJ GIN + JUICE can assure you from experience).
All in all, I give it eighty thousand out of ten, and I suspect I will NEVER get over the tune’s cheesy brilliance. A live version of it has been my MySpazz profile song for about two months straight, and it’s not going anywhere. Is it wrong that I am now actually kind of sad I’ll never be able to hear it live in concert? It is? Okay. I can accept that.
PS: The official clip is quite long and ridiculous, but I’ve lovingly placed it for your perusal over the jump. More » 
Brace Yourselves: The Ticket Giveaway For The Angie Hart and Dave McCormack East Coast Tour Will Be Happening Tomorrow!
3:04PM Jess McGuire | So I vaguely hinted last week (and by “hinted”, I obviously mean “hit you over the head with a large block of wood with the words ‘ANGIE HART AND DAVE MCCORMACK ARE GOING ON TOUR AND WE HAVE TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY SOON’ carved into it”) that we had something special to offer the beloved readers of Defamer Australia this week which was somehow connected to the lead singers of Frente and Custard, and by jingoes, we’ll be following through on our promise of free passes to the shows.
However, I prefer to bundle these giveaways up with something resembling an interesting online experience, and this booty of gig goodness is no exception.
Thus, I am happy to inform you that I managed to locate my infamous special journalist hunting gear once more, and soon I will be popping online an EXTREMELY EXCLUSIVE (ie: slightly idiotic) interview with Angie Hart – in AUDIO FORM. Yes! Recorded this morning, you can listen to your editor playfully insult Australia’s favourite songbird! Hear the amazing asides and dumb jokes that should have been edited out for the sake of both our reputations, but weren’t! Because I’m lazy and quite dreadful when it comes to using editing software!
I do need to clean it up a little though, so it won’t be up until tomorrow (around midday). Accompanying it will be instructions on how you can win a double pass to a show near you over the next fortnight. And next week – no promises, but I can only try – I’ll attempt to get Dave and Angie to do a little something special just for the viewing pleasure of Defamer Australia readers.
“PORNO?” – You
Oh, behave.
“OMG AND WHERE WILL THE SHOWS BE HELD, ANYWAY? MAYBE I WANT TO BUY A TICKET JUST IN CASE I DON’T WIN ONE!” – You
You’re a switched on cat, and I respect that.
After the jump, a helpful guide to the tour (and some phone numbers if you’d like to order yerself a couple of tickets).
“BUT WAIT – CAN YOU TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR BRILLIANT AND PENETRATING (LOL) INTERVIEW WITH ANGIE HART IN ADVANCE?” – You
Okay. IF you have a recorder, and IF you can play the solo in Labour of Love, then Angie has agreed to welcome you on stage at the shows to play along with her and her handsome guitarist Sam Agostino. Top that!
“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – You
Dude, I know.
Now jump and check out the tour schedule, for fucks sake. More » 
What’s Fred Durst Up To These Days? We’re Glad You Asked…
2:55PM Jess McGuire | Thanks to a video posted on comedian Tom Green’s website shows, we can see that he’s taking care of himself and in peak physical condition.
And by that, we mean Billy Bob Thornton-esque. As Stereogum so eloquently puts it, “Why is he talking like Sling Blade?”
Much thanks to reader Marcus for the story tip off (send you own tips to, oddly enough, tips at defamer.com.au, why don’t you?) – Fred Durst rambling on in a strange accent is an oddly pleasing way to wile away a Tuesday afternoon. More » 
YouTube Clip Of The Day
2:21PM Jess McGuire | It’s Amateur Cock Rock Tuesday!
I believe at this point, I am supposed to do this -
\M/
Thanks for the suggestion, Elmo. More » 
Do YOU Have What It Takes To Bitch Alongside Napoleon?
12:29PM Clem Bastow | Napoleon Perdis, largely through his association with Australia’s Next Top Model, has become one of those “industry” types you either love to hate or hate to love; I find myself in between, except when he is fabulously sparring on the AusNTM final three contestants to slag each other off while in the chair (most memorably clapping his hands and shouting “I LOVE IT!” after getting Alice to lay into Steph in Cycle 3), then I just love to love him.
Anyway, his Napoleon Perdis Cosmetics line has become big news in the States, so it seems he’s taken advantage of his growing overlord celebrity status and whipped up an Apprentice-esque reality/doco show.
After an exhaustive search, Perdis has found a protege to run his business in the US – with every step filmed for a documentary reality series.
Get Your Face On has followed the extravagant and entrepreneurial life of the former Parramatta powder prince.
The series will introduce the Aussie dynamo, who waves his magic brush over 59 stand-alone stores and 800 outlets across the country, to US audiences.
Provided it involves making wannabe models up to look like Amsterdam hookers and then having them pose in the front window of your flagship store, I for one am excited to see what Napoleon and his bronzer brush bring to the world of reality television. More » 
‘Sunrise’, Sunset, ‘Sunrise’, Sunset: Seven And The Disappearing Weatherman
12:15PM Clem Bastow | Since I’ve started, you know, actually working during the days, I’ve long since lost touch with all my “friends” in breakfast television (you know, friends – you turn the TV on and it’s just like living with people, oh god, the abysmal loneliness etc etc), but I did always think that Sunrise’s weatherman David Brown seemed to have a good deal of authority to him that certain other weather presenters didn’t (probably because he’s an actual meteorologist).
However, it seems it’s no longer raining men at the Sunrise studio: Brown has suddenly disappeared from their broadcasts and website, apparently never to return.
At first explaining Brown’s absence as holiday leave, a spokeswoman later confirmed he would not return to the show.
“David was already presenting the 4.30pm national news weather report and also does the weather for Melbourne’s 6pm news,” she told media writer Marcus Casey.
“The long day has really got to him and he’s realised he’s got too much on his plate and is feeling burnt out.” Style-wise, Brown was chalk to Sunrise’s cheese, much more a straight man compared to Wright and her predecessor Grant Denyer.
Is it a personal decision? A Sydney vs Melbourne debate (Brown’s a Melbournian)? The most poignant/chilling part of the whole story was this sad little sentence right down the bottom:
Do you know where David Brown has gone?
Well, DO YOU??
David Brown: coming soon to the side of a milk carton near you! More » 
Ali Lohan Zit Crisis Exclusive!
11:30AM Seth | We’re thrilled to see that E! is perfectly prepared to throw their First Family of Reality under the bus if it means getting a pretty inspired sketch on the air. [Chelsea Lately] Nicole Kidman delivered a beautiful girl today named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Her birthing canal was then swiftly Botoxed back to its original state. [Reuters] When we heard the title, “Molly Ringwald on Molly Ringwald,” we figured we were in for some brat-packer-themed porn (à la Pretty in the Pink). Sadly, there is no Molly-on-Molly action to be had here, but cheap thrills abound nonetheless. [LAT] Speaking of John Hughes heroines: Ever wonder what happened to Curly Sue? Wonder no more! [MySpace via Too Much Awesome] Hey, kids! What time is it?! [ffffound.com] More »
Justin Long Informs Drew Barrymore He Wants To Start Seeing Different Operating Systems
10:50AM Seth | A grieving flack has emerged from Drew Barrymore and Justin Long’s Shiva-House of Love, mascara smeared, lapel torn, and offering a somber, “I can confirm the split but have no other comment,” before adding, “And if you’d like to come in to pay your respects and have a nice piece of kugel, you’re more than welcome.” Our deepest condolences to both families. More »
World’s Dozen Remaining TV Critics Gather For One Last Strike-Addled, Blog-Ruined Party
10:30AM Defamer Hollywood | As of today, our fantasy of an exotic lifestyle of TV criticism is officially over — beaten, bloodied and left for dead by Ray Richmond, who compares the debauched good old days of the Television Critics Association press tours to the nearly irrelevant confab starting tomorrow in Beverly Hills. It’s the first such event since July 2007, back before last winter’s conference was scuttled by the writers strike and mainstream media had begun shearing critics and culture writers from their ranks like slabs of fat. More »
