It was no surprise that in the wake of her former lawyer speaking out and stating he made up her defence about the dicey baggage handlers (cheers, Triple J's Hack!) Australia's most famous boogie board enthusiast Schapelle Corby suffered a case of the sadpants.

Tragically, not even a perfectly timed pedicure could cheer her up.

Australian drug trafficker Schapelle Corby has suffered a relapse after venturing out of her hospital ward to go to a beauty salon yesterday, doctors say.

Corby, who is serving 20 years for drug smuggling, is being treated at a Bali hospital for depression but yesterday left her ward under the watch of armed guards to have her hair done and get a pedicure.

The visit caused a media storm and Corby tried to hide her face as she left the salon, once she realised a swarm of reporters was waiting outside.

Sanglah Hospital doctor Lely Setyawati today said Corby's condition had deteriorated after her outing "... because it's been blown up, she's been chased by many people, she's been afraid".

"The effect is ... her condition is back to zero."

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Setyawati said doctors had been preparing to send Corby back to Kerobokan prison, but said that would now be delayed.

"We were preparing her to strengthen her so that she would be able to face her punishment, but now we need a longer time," she said

Perhaps an additional facial and some aromatherapy would help matters?

She said she did not know in advance that Corby planned to visit the salon yesterday, but it would have been a positive experience for her.

WELL YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT SO.

Poor Schapelle :(

Accompanying this interesting article regarding recent accusations directed toward Coldplay that the mega-selling British band ripped off the song 'Viva La Vida' from a group called Creaky Boards is the following YouTube clip created by the disgruntled frontman of the aforementioned ensemble.

Impressive mo, but what are your thoughts when it comes to the plagiarism complaint?

Congratulations to all involved at the news.com.au front page who came up with this most excellent headline to announce the tale of Mark Philippoussis' surfing mishap at Bell's Beach (his board was snapped by a freak wave and he had to seek refuge in a cave, apparently - it's true, I am trying not to laugh as I picture that):

You should all be very proud of yourselves.

As should "Damo of Summer Bay", from the comments on said story, who sums up the general reaction to the tale with the witty and incisive: "I bet the Scud's girlfriend knew exactly how to treat those bruises and cuts for the Scud. She probably got all kitted up in her nurses uniform when they got home. Yeah Scud Yeah!"

Yeah, Scud, yeah, indeed.

You've probably heard that the ATO has been chasing Paul Hogan over alleged tax liabilities over the past few months; well, now they've gotten the IRS onboard to attempt to back Hoges into a corner and make him lie down by using the Ridgy Didge hand signal waved in front of his face.

If, like me, "tax time" involves crying whilst sitting in the middle of a mountain of scrunched up receipts, most of the jargon will be just that, but all you really need to know is that Hogan plans to fight back. Presumably with a large hunting knife.

Hogan is the most high-profile target of the $300 million Operation Wickenby investigation into tax fraud and evasion, set up three years ago. Details of several offshore trusts and companies holding $40 million in proceeds from films such as Crocodile Dundee were leaked to the media in 2005, but no action has been taken against Hogan, his artistic collaborator John Cornell or their financial adviser, Tony Stewart, all of whom have denied any wrongdoing.

It is not known why the IRS, acting on behalf of the Australian tax office, issued the summonses in May to City National Bank, HSBC and the Union Bank of California demanding 9 1/2 years' worth of "account opening documents, signature cards, monthly statements, copies of canceled checks (front and back), deposit slips and all other deposit or withdrawal documents for all transactions that exceed $50,000".

Hogan's Australian-based lawyer said yesterday his client regarded the actions by the ATO as an unlawful attempt to obtain irrelevant material.

Thus endeth Defamer Australia's serious journalism portion of the day's proceedings.

Well, now that we've got that out of the way, all things considered, I think now is as good a time as any to enjoy this re-cut version of the Crocodile Dundee trailer:

Read More »

From the "surprising absolutely no one except Drew Barrymore's character in 50 First Dates" file comes the latest Amy Winehouse "news": Amy apparently took drugs while she was at rehab.

And I say "news", because, well, did anyone really think she'd make it through rehab without getting a fix? If so, LOL at you!

She said: 'I've never been to rehab - I mean, done it properly. I'm young, and I'm in love, and I get my nuts off sometimes.'

'To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young. I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb.'

Wow, that was so incredibly surprising, it was like M. Night Shyamalan got together with David Copperfield and organised a surprise birthday for me, and then told me I'd won the Lottery and have cancer!

Incidentally, if you would prefer to read a piece by someone who hasn't spent the last year suffering Amy Winehouse-related déjà vu Amy Winehouse-related déjà vu, Claire Hoffman's Rolling Stone piece, Up All Night With Amy Winehouse, is compelling reading.

· Happy Fourth of July everyone! Here's some Midwest Americana goodness, deep-fried and skewered, the way it's served up best. [YouTube]
· Bozo is dead. Long live Bozo! [AP]
· "I'm Coyote Shivers: Rapist, kidnapper, and ex-husband of NCIS star Pauley Perrette. And this is my show." [starcrazytruestory]
· These are men who look like Zach Braff. Some more than others. [menwholooklikezachbraff.blogspot.com]
· Bert and Ernie get krunked up in this bitch. [YouTube]

Read More »

If you've looked at the Internet at all this past week, you've probably gleaned that there's something going on with Madonna, Guy Ritchie, A-Rod and, most recently, Lenny Kravitz. A lot has happened in a very short time and, quite possibly, many of you haven't been able to keep up. But don't feel ashamed, that's what we're here for! Just read our handy dandy guide to the action after the jump and you'll have plenty to talk about at your 4th of July BBQ.

Read More »

It's always great when a new star or starlet joins the cast of a show like Home & Away or, in this case, Neighbours, because the PR department gets them to do a load of totally pointless interviews, and we reap all the benefits.

So it is with new Ramsay Street regular Margot Robbie (apparently pictured chilling out in the Crawfords' bathrooms), who says that being on the soap made her more self-conscious. Or something like that:

"I used to read magazines and think, 'Why would those girls turn anorexic?' Sure, they would have a bit of pressure, but I didn't think it could be too bad," Robbie said.

"But you don't understand what it's like on the outside. You are under heaps of pressure and when you get cast, everyone is stick-thin and you think, 'I need to be like that'.

"When you look at movies the lead girl is always gorgeous and thin. There is a stereotype that you need to look a certain way and when you get in the business you really feel the pressure."

Yes, and when you look at Neighbours the girls are always gorgeous and thin, and the boys are Toadfish Rebecchi and Paul Robinson.

Hang on, something's amiss here!

The spectre of a sacking (and horrible nightmares featuring Charlotte Dawson beating her to an Astra Award before setting fire to her dress, leaving her waking up sweating and in tears) looms larger and larger in Jodhi Meares' mind today, no doubt, as it has been suggested that her Australia's Next Top Model finalé no-show was not the first in her career.

Confidential can reveal that the former bikini babe forced producers of Sky News Business Channel program In Business to find replacement talent after she pulled out of an appearance slated to run during Australian Fashion Week in May.

Meares, who sold her swimwear label Tigerlily to surfwear company Billabong in December, was to have been the celebrity guest interview during the half hour program before she pulled out, citing sickness.

Well, to be honest, that sounds a bit like Confidential is clutching at straws, BUT, I question whether Meares has ever been that great a host of the model franchise, live finale or no live finale. She frequently reads from notes at elimination, often seems uncomfortable, fights with the other judges in a petulant manner, and plays favourites (Steph H, Demelza) to the nth degree.

So, we'll say it again: CHARLOTTE. DAWSON.

We'd be remiss if we let the day slip by without offering some fond birthday wishes to not-quite-born-on-the-Fourth-of-July Tom Cruise, who turns 46-intense-years-old today. In his honour, we offer a revisiting of one of his most memorable, if uncharacteristic, screen turns, as a masquerade-orgy-seeking physician in Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. In this trailer (homemade or Euro-cut, we're not sure), Cruise nakedly seduces his then-wife and naked-co-star, Naked Kidman. Happy birthday, Tom!

Read More »

At the rate the Harry Potter movies have been getting scarier and more grown-up, I admit I have been wondering what they'll be like by the end of the series - more violence? Extreme horror? SEX?? - and, indeed, what classification they'll cop.

So, thank goodness for Daniel Radcliffe, who has revealed that the next installment will be just like... Trainspotting?!

The 18-year-old actor, who has played teen wizard Harry in all five of the films, insists the sixth instalment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, will have drug metaphors and sexual references similar to the 1996 film about Scottish heroin addicts.

"There is a fair amount of sexual energy and there are some drug parallels. We have a couple of Trainspotting moments," Radcliffe told Empire magazine.

Yes, that's very good, Daniel *pats him on the head*

Not having read any of the books beyond a cursory glance at Wikipedia, I can speak with no authority as to whether this is an appropriate treatment of Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince. But what I will say is WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!? Thanks.

When Kate "Sally Fletcher" Ritchie left the cast of Home & Away after what seemed like five million years (approximately), it looked as though that was it for the former child actress; radio was her new frontier and all the Summer Bay fans best suck it up!

Well, perhaps said suckage can be put on hold - Ritchie is rumoured to be returning to the world of television, to appear in the remake of The Young Doctors, which has perplexingly dropped the "The":

Described as "Grey's Anatomy meets The Secret Life of Us", the series is currently in development with production company Fremantle Media and Channel 9, but is not likely to be seen on screens until next year.

While an official approach is yet to have been made to Ritchie's agent, both Fremantle and Nine are eager to swoop on the viewer favourite after she ended her 20-year association with Seven soap Home and Away.

"The program is still in very early days of scripting and character development, but we think Kate is fantastic and would love to have her on the network at some stage," a Nine spokeswoman told Confidential.

Yes, you read that right - "Grey's Anatomy meets Secret Life Of Us".

You know, I can - for some reason - handle the whole remake fever when it comes to multiplex fare, but there's something about television remakes that is scraping the bottom of the "scraping the bottom of the barrel" barrel.

But if this is the new trend then I'd like to suggest that someone remakes Chances.

It's no secret that Sharon Stone is batshit crazy. But while most people laugh and make snarky comments (like us), the folks at PETA have decided to actually do something about it. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals organisation is offering Ms. Stone one free brain scan in an effort to improve her compassion. And compassion is something that she has been lacking lately. Not only did she suggest that those terrible earthquakes in China were the result of bad karma for how they treat Tibet, she also frequently wears fur. See how PETA thinks they can help her after the jump.

Read More »

When fighting a highly publicized custody battle with the modelling industry's reigning Good Girl Next Door, it's probably not the smartest move to give Al Goldstein and Larry Flynt a run for their money as dirtiest old man. But that's just what pervy adulterer Peter Cook did yesterday while testifying against original Uptown Girl Christie Brinkley. Providing us with a handy preview of Rob Lowe's inevitable court date fighting for his straight-laced honour, the hottie architect let loose a series of confessions involving adorably vintage tales of web cam masturbation, office sex, and hush money hidden behind paintings. Read on for the sordid admissions that caused Cook to reach for a hankie and cry jurors a river.

Read More »

America's Got Talent last night featured the truly unique talents of a one Miss Busty Heart—a beloved mainstay on the stripper circuit for decades now, according to her must-visit website—whose act consists of slamming the two bean-bag chairs hanging from her chest onto a variety of rigid objects, thusly inflicting unspeakable damage. In doing so, she managed to shock the studio audience—including Jerry Springer, who you'd figure would have seen an act like this by now. It was all fun and games until she insisted on outdoing herself with a grand finale the judges wouldn't soon forget; unfortunately, she had never tested the "railroad spike through a cinder block" trick before, resulting in an instant gusher that coated the horrified studio audience in a fine misting of 22-year-old silicone filler.

Read More »

Formerly a featured member of the Rapid Downsize club currently bowing down to newly slim star Colin Farrell, Matt Damon has notably chunked up for his role in the true story of an FBI whistleblower in Steven Soderbergh's The Informant. And despite the part's fun-filled requirements that he stop going to the gym and live on sweet potato pancakes with crème fraîche, Damon is reportedly feeling more than a bit self-conscious about his new frame. While Ben Affleck has taken the opportunity to relive his glory days as a funny sidekick, lashing out at Damon by nailing one-liners like "the man has to buy two seats on an airplane!", chubby Matt is fearing the month of November, when People announces his successor as "Sexiest Man Alive."

Read More »

In what will easily go down as the Most Insane Legal Filing of the Long Weekend, a male employee at The Rachael Ray Show has named producer CBS and several other staffers in a legal filing seeking $1.5 million in damages for anorexia discrimination. From TMZ:

Read More »

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is the highest paid writer/producer in Hollywood and, as of today, he's also one of the most THC-free. Recently, MacFarlane announced that he will no longer be smoking marijuana because it makes him too paranoid. "One of the last times I was stoned, I was convinced that I would die unless I kept moving my body. So I sat there, baked, waving my arms around like a crazy person," he explains.

Read More »

It's no secret that Bravo is a gay friendly network. They've got Kathy Griffin, Project Runway (at least for a little while longer) and shows about people getting their hair did. And who could forget about their great big sexy bear, Mr. Tom Colicchio? But if you happened to tune into Bravo on Monday night, you may have bore witness to an historic milestone: The first ever gay personal lubricant ad to appear on television! Check out the video after the jump.

Read More »

· In a defection sure to cause at least one WMA partner to disembowel their assistant, then themselves, with the nearest People's Choice Award, Ellen Page has left the agency for Endeavor's Ariesque embrace. All-purpose power-lesbian Kelly Bush will continue to oversee management and publicity duties. [Variety]
· Apparently there's a shortage of prestige material so far for the 2008 Oscar race, but that could change just as soon as the Academy drastically alters the rules to give Camp Rock full eligibility in all categories. [Variety]

Read More »

When a girl's starting to doubt her sex appeal, after a foray into acting that has thus far earned her parts as a back brace-wearing nerd and the part of "Smoking Girl" in something called Whore, there is no better way to regain confidence and prove just how fine you are than nailing a gay actor (allegedly). And that's just the challenge Rumer Willis set up for herself during a recent night out. According to the NY Post, the rising starlet and failed auditonee of Lindsay Lohan's lesbian love lottery spotted boy band groupie Chace Crawford at a birthday party and tried every boy toy magnet trick she could think of in an extensively planned and bitterly fought campaign to pull off the rarely accomplished task of getting him to switch teams.

Read More »

Read More »

As your mind has likely already checked out for the long weekend, and is far away gnawing on a corndog and oohing and aahing the dazzling detonations dancing across your TV screen courtesy of XBox 360's Fireworks Tycoon, we thought we'd tax it as little as possible today. Perfect solution: A&E's Corey Vs. Corey, an online game in which the original bromance partners—now mortal enemies—fight each other in a sort of Mortal-Flameout Kombat.

Read More »

Where is Jennifer Aniston? We've been asking ourselves that question for what feels like three whole days now. And we're apparently not the only ones. At a gig in Milwaukee last night, boyfriend John Mayer was pouring his heart into those Grammy-winning sobfests he calls a repertoire when the usual "I want your body!" and "Are you sure you're not gay!" yelps from fans turned from coos to catty. Reports People, "Several fans were overheard yelling 'Where's Jennifer?' and 'Bring Jen Out!' in between songs." Though Mayer got his revenge by boring the crowd to tears with a volatile hate rant against the Internet and all its "vulgar" ways, we couldn't help wondering how long the oh-so-serious musician will allow yet another tabloid-y romance interfere with his craft. Or is his craft only sustainable with the help of all these tabloid-y romances?

Read More »

It occurred to us here at Defamer HQ that The Love Guru—by all accounts, the most execrable film sediment to coat our cultural shores in eons—marks something of an Unfunniness Benchmark for its dwarfhandling star, Mike Myers. Which got us a-thinking: Was he ever funny? What if we could map the relative comedic trajectory of his collected oeuvre over time and space, in a scientifically controlled environment?

Read More »

America isn't the only one having a birthday this week. Last night, Lindsay Lohan — everyone's favourite freckle-faced, raspy-voiced, psychologically-damaged, naked-picture-taking, gossip-column-filling, potential-half-sister-having, secretly-lesbian actress — turned 22 years old. It's truly mind boggling to imagine she's that young. Lohan's got so many miles of bad road behind her that I pegged her for at least 35. But no, 22— only one year past the legal drinking age which she's certainly never adhered to. So, how did Linds celebrate this momentous occasion? By throwing an 80's-prom-themed bash at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel, of course. Check in after the jump for more party deets than you can shake a stick at.

Read More »