Thursday, July 3, 2008
The Farmer Wants A People Magazine Centrefold
1:05PM Jess McGuire | On Monday night I watched the greatest hour of Australian television broadcast in this country’s history – The Farmer Wants A Wife. Having missed the last series, I wasn’t really familiar with the show, but I somehow stumbled upon the premiere of the latest series and was hooked from the get go.
What’s the appeal, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. Rugged country boys, desperate city girls, charming scenery, amazing one liners… call me crazy, but it all clicked for me. I haven’t been this happy since I accidentally flicked through channels and found late night repeats of Playing It Straight a month or two ago.
And although I had thought the moment bachelor James asked a potential ladyfriend “So what’s your most favourite tucker then?” could be the highlight of the show’s time on our television screens this year, it emerges that one of the country lad lovin’ women appearing on the show once appeared in the hallowed pages of People magazine, as well as starring on a saucy website! Booyah!
Monique, one of farmer Nick Brown’s chosen five on Channel 9’s reality show The Farmer Wants A Wife, features on an X-rated pornographic website, MX is reporting today.
The pictures, taken this year, show the Melbourne resident wearing only runners and knee pads in a bicycle-themed montage.
A sexy tribute to BMX Bandits? I approve!
Monique, 21, who has a boyfriend, also featured in a shoot for adult magazine People three years ago.
Fremantle Media, which produces the reality program, said Monique listed her occupation as “student” on her application.
Wait, are they insinuating that posing for x-rated photos isn’t typical “student” behaviour? Hmmm. You learn something new every day.
Expect plenty of idiotic commentary on The Farmer Wants A Wife in the coming weeks… until I get bored.
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This Just In: Alan Jones Has Prostate Cancer
12:14PM Jess McGuire | Shock jock Alan Jones has just announced to the media that he has prostate cancer.
The talkback king said he would take time off work to undergo surgery, but he would return to his breakfast slot on Sydney radio station 2GB when he had recovered.
Jones said he had been diagnosed with the cancer after undergoing a biopsy and would require an operation in coming weeks. He would be off air for several weeks while recovering, he said.
“The prospect of full recovery is very significant,” he told media gathered at the Macquarie Radio studios in Sydney.
Elderly bigots across Sydney will no doubt be relieved to hear that. In all seriousness though – cancer sucks so I wish him all the best during this difficult time.
“Cancer sucks”. Wow. Eloquent, huh? Why the Cancer Council haven’t asked me to join their marketing team is beyond my comprehension. Still, you know what I mean. Get well soon, Alan, so I can happily go back to bashing my head against a wall when listening to you on air! More » ANTM Third-Placegetter Sam Would Like To Let Demelza Know That She Has Been Beaten To The ‘I Got A Modelling Campaign’ Crown
12:01PM Clem Bastow | Briefly in the last flurry of post-show Australia’s Next Top Model news, Melbourne girl and second runner-up Samantha Downie, who many were surprised to see booted in favour of Demelza, has already signed to Priscillas (i.e. the agency that takes on the winner) and booked her first campaign, presumably before Demelza has even had her post-party Berocca.
From the Herald Sun:
The Melbourne Uni student emerged yesterday as the dark horse of the contest after it was revealed model agent Priscilla Leighton Clarke signed her weeks before the program ended. Downie is the face of designer Gail Elliott’s brand, Little Joe.
Elliott, who befriended Cindy Crawford, knows what makes a top model.
“She told me I was her favourite, and not to worry about coming third because my career was going to go just as far,” Downie cooed.
Well, just as far as what – a hurried Vogue shoot, maybe a Just Jeans catalogue, and then a spot on Where Are They Now? in ten years time? Don’t sell yourself so short, Sam. More » 
Finally, A Superhero American For The Rest Of Us
11:35AM Seth | P. Diddy couldn’t be more excited about Hancock: the first legitimately mainstream black superhero! (Don’t point out the drunken loutishness—he’s happy as a motherfucker and we’d like him to stay that way.) [PaulScheer.com] “Angelina Jolie is way too thin to be an action hero!” says whoever ABCNews.com could find to offer a quote corroborating their Angelina Jolie-is-too-thin-to-be-an-action-hero story. [ABCNews.com] Take a tour of the insanely huge Brooklyn mansion Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are leaving, and the insanely expensive TriBeCa loft they’re moving into. [ONTD, The Real Estalker] Wesley Snipes can travel to London and Bangkok to shoot two movies while his Totally Insane Tax Avoidance Trial of the Century appeals are processed. [Yahoo/AP] Here’s photo evidence of Brett Ratner holding one of his five Big Penises. [VMan] More »Why Tom Cruise Is To Blame For Katie Holmes’ Box Office Failure On Broadway
11:05AM Molly Friedman | It didn’t take long for Katie Holmes to prove she cannot compare to Nicole Kidman when it comes to Broadway appeal. Months before she even sets foot on stage, Tom Cruise’s replacement wife is striking out at the box office, managing to sell only $1 million worth of advance tickets to her September theatrical effort in All My Sons. That may sound like a decent take in the world of steadily declining Broadway sales, but it doesn’t even come close to Kidman’s number, which was $4 million. So why the distant gap in interest between seeing Holmes hack through Arthur Miller and Kidman feign sex live? It’s not just a matter of full-frontal cartwheels… More »In Honour of The 4th of July, Megan Fox Wins Her Independence From Brian Austin Green
10:45AM Defamer Hollywood | I remember the first time I heard about Megan Fox. “Man, this chick has it all,” I thought to myself. She’s hot, not a terrible actress, uh… did I mention hot? In fact there was only one problem with her. Her fiancé was a douchebag. And not just any douchebag, but Brian Austin Green! The whole B.A.G. affair was such an affront to my sensibilities that it tainted Megan Fox as a whole. She couldn’t be that great if she was into a dude who not only devirginized Donna on 90210 but also released a terrible rap album entitled One Stop Carnival. But now that’s all changed, thanks to this little tidbit of information: Megan Fox has called off her engagement to Brian Austin Green! [cue Handel's Messiah, ring church bells, light fireworks] More »Jodhi Meares And The Mystery Of The Host Who Doesn’t Actually Want To Host
10:37AM Clem Bastow | Apart from the obvious outcry over Demelza “Bully” Reveley taking out the crown, the biggest hoo haa following the Australia’s Next Top Model Cycle 4 finalé has been about Jodhi Meares’ no show as the host of the finale.
It’s a bit of a moot point, as Charlotte Dawson proved (again) that she’s the better, funnier and more capable host, but really, if Meares is getting the mad bucks to be the face of Australia’s Next Top Model, surely she can take some Rescue Remedy and bring herself to face a live audience?
Apparently smarting from the backlash, Meares has had a rep talk to the press, because evidently she’s afraid of that, too.
“From the beginning Jodhi never agreed to do a live show of that scale,” Ali Hainsworth said.
“It needs to be put out in the open because to throw something like that on someone wasn’t entirely fair.”
Uhh, that may be the case, but a casual viewing of either Cycles 1 and 2 of AusNTM or, like, every single Cycle of America’s Next Top Model would reveal the obvious point that the grand final is always “a live show of that scale”.
Those friendly folk over at the Daily Telegraph have helpfully assembled a few YouTube highlights of Jodhi’s “work” at last year’s grand final.
And seeing as our “C’mon Tiny Mouth” campaign for Alex to win the gong didn’t go so well, we’ll be doing nothing similar to try to get Dawson the hosting slot full-time next year in case we jinx her, but let it be known that I reckon Charlotte Dawson is the bomb shit. More » Naomi Watts Is Kinda, Sort Of, Pretty Much Apparently Pregnant (Again)
10:21AM Clem Bastow | “Our” Naomi Watts is apparently expecting another child with her partner Liev Schreiber – I say “apparently” because the ever reliable Us Weekly has the “exclusive”, and any “exclusive” that doesn’t “exclusively” involve the words coming “exclusively” out of Naomi Watts’ mouth is to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt.
So, “exclusively”, here’s the word from the mag:
Us Weekly has the “exclusive”, saying Naomi Watts, 39, is four months pregnant. The couple’s first child, Alexander “Sasha” Pete, is 11 months old.
When she was pregnant last year with her first child, her partner, Schreiber, 40, didn’t confirm the news until he casually told Conan O’Brien, “Yes, I’m going to be a dad.”
Naomi’s rep told Us she doesn’t comment on her client’s personal life.
See? Your story is on shaky ground when even Confidential calls it an “exclusive” (i.e. with the sarcastic Clerks-esque inverted commas).
So, Defamer Australia tentatively congratulates the happy family, with the small print on the congratulations reading “These warm-hearted congratulations become null and void if Us Weekly’s exclusive turns out to be total rubbish”.
It’s only fair, really. More » 