Why Jessica Simpson Remains Convinced She Is Happy, In Love, And Famous: She Thinks It's Still 1999
Posted by Molly Friedman at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2008
Jessica Simpson has officially perfected the art of turning every opportunity to promote whatever is currently going on in her "career" into a public display of desperation. Ever since that gruesome Chicken Or Fish fiasco, we cannot think of a single time the game day curse has appeared on television without making a complete arse of herself. And Jessica managed to continue the pity parade on The View today. Dodging all questions related to her shockingly successful new country single, Simpson instead spun the interview into an embarrassingly blatant attempt to announce to the world how totally in love she and long-suffering QB Tony Romo still are. See Simpson hard at work, and tell us if we're the only ones noticing a very eerie resemblance between the new Jessica and the bleached, gum-chewing, tear-drenched Britney Spears circa her "We're just country, y'all!" era.
After Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck attempt to assist the clueless singer/actress/professional pouter in promoting her record-breaking new single, Simpson jumps right in by noting that she first heard the song while riding home (from Church!) in Dallas with none other than Tony. Even the show's producers participated in the "Jessica Simpson Is So, So Happy! We Swear!" segment by immediately flashing to a shot of the couple looking just like every high school's Prom King and Queen posing for cheap glamour shots. Thankfully, Hasselbeck's always-impressive skill of insulting guests while disguising the low blow in complimentary clothing came through, as the co-host told Jessica that "country is where you should be." Yes, Elisabeth. If only it were another country, we'd agree with you even more.
- THE VIEW [ABC]

Jessica Simpson has officially perfected the art of turning every opportunity to promote whatever is currently going on in her "career" into a public display of desperation. Ever since that gruesome Chicken Or Fish fiasco, we cannot think of a single time the
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HandsomeBwonderful
Posted 8:07 AM 26/6/08
Here's hoping she can make that jump from desperate Pro-Active carnival barker to fake country star as effortless as her ability to delude herself that Romo still cares. She does look like Marisa Miller, though. Just not as talented.
HandsomeBwonderful
shag_carpet_bomb
Posted 7:42 AM 26/6/08
The quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys goes to church with his buddies and his girlfriend? Ahem.
shag_carpet_bomb
TurdBlossom
Posted 7:38 AM 26/6/08
Chicken-fried brains, y'all.
TurdBlossom
Caroline Meeber
Posted 7:20 AM 26/6/08
"Touring" at "state fairs." Ahem.
Caroline Meeber
Old No.7
Posted 7:18 AM 26/6/08
Papa Joe likes that look on your face.
Old No.7
rtisovec
Posted 8:45 AM 26/6/08
Is "eatin' lots of funnel cake" a euphemism for something?
rtisovec
jasonelias
Posted 10:21 AM 26/6/08
State fairs and funnel cake? And these are good things?
jasonelias
Trixie from Toronto
Posted 10:38 AM 26/6/08
I just can't help it ... I like her!
Trixie from Toronto
WGARefugee
Posted 10:32 AM 26/6/08
If I was with this girl, I'd have to have someone write a script for every day so she'd have something interesting to say. Compared to real sexual icons, who realize that every instant of public life is a performance, Simpson is a rank amateur. Back the studio days, they knew how to build an actress into a brand. Pappa Joe doesn't know what a brand is. And this is why I would like to marry Dita Von Teese.
WGARefugee
jasonelias
Posted 1:26 PM 26/6/08
@Trixie from Toronto: Despite her obvious issues, she's cute and likable. She's got a bad manager though...
jasonelias
CourageousCoward
Posted 2:41 AM 27/6/08
She's so dumb. (How dumb is she?)
She's so dumb even her boom mike is bleached blonde!
CourageousCoward
gwendolyn
Posted 4:07 AM 27/6/08
Whatever her deficiencies (and they are legion) her obsessive crush on Mr. Romo is something I can totally relate to.
For a while here in North Texas, an electronics store, whose name I forget, used Tony in a series of ads and if I heard one of those ads while in another room, I would make a mad dash, knocking chairs, cats, kid and anything else out of my way so I could make it to the TV in time to see him.
And I am well old enough to be his mother. And to know better.
Yes, I can't fault Ms. Simpson for that at all...
gwendolyn