Rejected by Barack Obama, Crestfallen Activist Scarlett Johansson Will Never E-Mail Again
This was supposed to be the time of Scarlett Johansson's life — happily engaged with at least two eagerly anticipated new films ahead of her and, most thrilling of all, her official status as Busty Blond Obama Campaign Cog confirmed a few weeks back when she confessed an ongoing e-mail correspondence with her fifth father and Democratic presidential nominee-to-be. "You'd imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly travelling and constantly 'on' — how can he return these personal e-mails?" she asked Politico on June 8.
Alas, as the Senator revealed this week, he can't — and he doesn't:
[S]peaking to reporters aboard his campaign plane, Obama said the actress doesn't have his personal e-mail address. "She sent one e-mail to Reggie, who forwarded it to me," Obama said, referring to his 26-year-old personal assistant, Reggie Love. "I write saying, 'Thank you Scarlett for doing what you do,' and suddenly we have this e-mail relationship."
Finally! The Rev. Jeremiah Wright's support group for exiled Obama confidants has the mascot it so desperately needs. Meanwhile, we hear a devastated Johansson is on damage control this morning, deleting "obamaforprez08@aol.com" from her address book and quietly racing to retrieve the racy photos of her phone-campaigning at home wearing nothing but an Obama T-shirt and a smile before her skeevy imposter penpal disseminates them online. Please ping us if you happen upon them.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
- Obama's E-Mails with Scarlett Johansson [The Trail]
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I did not. Have. E-mail. Relations with that woman. Miss Johansson.
The Standard Deviant
@Losin_it:
sweeeet.
T. L. Morgendorffer
@booksy:
Or, as the rest of the interview shows she is using the plural "emails" to mean that he returns personal emails in general. She has never stated she had an ongoing "relationship" email or otherwise. She stated that she wrote more than one email and was amazed he had responded to one. She has clearly been involved with his campaign for awhile and suggesting his staff or his wife had no knowledge of these facts is ridiculous.
This entire story is about as reliable as Obama being a radical, sleeper cell, terrorist Muslim in disguise. It makes for headlines and thats all it's good for.
T. L. Morgendorffer
@Countess of Querulousness: Sure, no problem...we'll take out Paris first.
Of course, there will be no kissing her....I have a fear of herpes and all.
Losin_it
@Countess of Querulousness: You'd imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly 'on' - how can he return these personal e-mails.
The "e-mails" portion implies that there was more than one and her full statements said that she has wrote more than one.
I would just imagine that this problably wouldn't go over to well with his wife.
I'm just preparing for his response,
"This is not the e-mail partner that I though I knew"
/Obama throwing another person under the bus
booksy
@Losin_it:
Well played. Um, but can we start with Paris instead? Please, I will give up feminists rants for 30 days if we can just adjust the list.
Countess of Querulousness
@Losin_it: Shhhhhh! Up to now, I had never revealed that!
Another Defamer Exclusive!
BowlingForDollars
Scarlett is a blonde. If she were male, she'd be blond. No "e". No tits... and probably no email relationships.
OldTowneTavern
@BowlingForDollars: Senator Muskie was so upset by his inability to respond to your heartfelt messages, he started crying in public, which cost him the nomination. I think that was the reason.
Losin_it
Whatever. She sure knows how to fill out a sweater.
doubletalk
Or maybe it's because she's talentless??
jackass penguin
"Why are we, once again, bashing another woman for doing nothing wrong "
It's all part of the ongoing Defamer plot to wipe out the female race. First, Scarlett Johansson, tomorrow, the world!
Losin_it
She never said she had an ongoing email relationship she stated she sent an email and he responded.
Why are we, once again, bashing another woman for doing nothing wrong? If she is beautiful we crush her. If she's talented we annihilate her. If she has the gall to accept an invite for a music project we're up in arms. And, god forbid, she wins and award or gets engaged to an attractive man.
That being said the political media needs to take a second an remind themselves that they are not in fucking junior high school!
Countess of Querulousness
I'm the only one who immediately noticed that Obama's assistant has the same name as Susan Sarandon's character in "The Client", right?
Right.
Dockertee
This happened to me back when I was a star. In 1972, I was corresponding with Edmund Muskie, via carrier pigeon, and he would never return my messages!
BowlingForDollars
Scarlett, I swear to God, you're already at the top of my list for that Waits album. If you fuck this up, too, you better go into hiding!
Desk_hack
maybe she's afraid she'll catch a virus...
encinoman