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Raffaello Follieri Arrested For Swindling God Out Of His Savings
Posted by Seth at 2:00 AM on June 25, 2008
It should have by all accounts been a joyous time in the Raffaello Follieri-Anne Hathaway household—she, starring in the #1 movie in America, he, setting up a variety of high-stakes shell-games around the globe and reaping their unsavory rewards. Could the pitter-patter of little Raffaello feet—fleecing daycare mates out of their snacks under the guise of a Third World milk-and-cookie drive—have been far behind? Of course, it wasn't meant to be. Raffaello was the target of a New York State Attorney General's Office investigation, and Hathaway—likely after an all-night handling team intervention that culminated in an exhausted junior P.R. agent shouting, "You've got to leave him, Anne! If not for you—for Prada 2!"—finally broke things off with him. Raffaello, Manhattan prosecutors announced today, has been arrested on wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering charges. Oh, and there's also that little white lie he told about being God's hedge fund manager. Oopsies!
Raffaello Follieri, who was awaiting an appearance in Manhattan federal court, is accused of falsely telling an investor that the Vatican had appointed him to manage its financial affairs.
He allegedly claimed that as a result of his Vatican connections, he and others could obtain properties of the Catholic church in the United States at a substantial discount to fair market value. [...]Hathaway's publicist, Stephen Huvane, has previously stressed that "The Devil Wears Prada" star is not part of any probes and is no longer a board member of the Follieri Foundation.
Details of Follieri's song-and-dance are still sketchy; some suggest he dazzled investors with a well-rehearsed spiel involving a prime coastal property he could unload for a steal, all due to what he referred to in hush-tones as the "Father Larabee's Petting Zoo of Molesty Horrors" incident. It now remains to be seen if Hathaway reputation can survive the Sins of the Oily and Crooked Ex-Boyfriend, and if she herself can survive any stray lightning bolts sent down to smite God-swindling confidence men.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
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WGARefugee
Posted 3:30 AM 25/6/08
This reminds me--I need some first class arm candy to help me find investors for my new NC-17 version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, featuring The Pope as Caractacus Potts. Ann if you're reading this, call me!
WGARefugee
TheQuestion
Posted 3:18 AM 25/6/08
@Old No.7: That's not ENTIRELY true - some of us would date her for her ass.
TheQuestion
Hart88
Posted 3:11 AM 25/6/08
CFO of the Vatican? I guess "Bill Gates' Personal Banker" was a little too obvious.
Hart88
Trixie from Toronto
Posted 3:06 AM 25/6/08
@DorothyZbornak: And if Liza can bounce back from her marriage to David Gest, and Star can bounce back from her marriage to Al Reynolds, Anne can do it!!
I wonder if Heather Matarazzo is celebrating?
Trixie from Toronto
heidiho
Posted 3:05 AM 25/6/08
Hmmm... sommmmmebody got tipped off!
heidiho
TurdBlossom
Posted 3:01 AM 25/6/08
Follieri's probing days are just getting started (if you know what I mean and I think that you do)
@Juancho: Brandon Davis by an oil stain.
TurdBlossom
goldfarb
Posted 2:45 AM 25/6/08
"...not part of any probes."
:)
goldfarb
Losin_it
Posted 2:44 AM 25/6/08
They had it all...just like Bogey and Bacall...
Losin_it
Old No.7
Posted 2:38 AM 25/6/08
Hey Anne, did you really believe he was the hedge-fund manager for the entire Catholic Church?
By the way, the moon isn't made of cheese, Santa Claus is really your parents, and guys only date you for your tits.
Old No.7
majikthise
Posted 2:34 AM 25/6/08
I love the way you are bagging on this douche . . . but the English major in me still feels compelled to point out that "smote" is the past-tense of "smite". You should have used smite in this case. Sorry . . .
majikthise
Juancho
Posted 2:31 AM 25/6/08
Who's greasier, this guy or Brandon Davis?
Juancho
wharfrat
Posted 2:25 AM 25/6/08
"It breaks my heart to sell my share in the Meefstake Mine---why, I'd rather part with my grandmother's paisley shawl."
wharfrat
DorothyZbornak
Posted 2:20 AM 25/6/08
Well, if Lisa-Marie Presley can bounce back from a marriage to Michael Jackson, I guess anything's possible.
Oh, wait...
DorothyZbornak
JimRockford
Posted 5:54 AM 25/6/08
This is all so Godfather III. Where's Al Neri when you need him?
JimRockford
el smrtmnky
Posted 5:01 AM 25/6/08
i went to see Get Smart this weekend, and there's a part when Carrell's Smart turns to Hathaways's 99 and says,"You've got a bad boyfriend." or something to that effect.
i snortled a bid loudly.
el smrtmnky
gwendemarco
Posted 7:12 AM 25/6/08
@gwendemarco: and Heather Locklear. Buying lottery ticket tonight.
gwendemarco
gwendemarco
Posted 6:59 AM 25/6/08
I never thought I'd have a better day than Anne Hathaway.
gwendemarco
mothrafairy
Posted 11:31 AM 25/6/08
How could Hathaway (or any woman, for that matter) schtup a man who'd admit to being really "tight" with the Vatican fellas?
That being said, I do hope Follieri's genuflection skills are in proper working order. He'll need them to negotiate a few...um..."real estate deals" in the slammer.
mothrafairy
Losin_it
Posted 9:25 AM 26/6/08
@mothrafairy: Yeah. You're right. No woman would ever go NEAR someone who had anything to do with the Catholic Church. The hundreds of millions of Catholics in the world notwithstanding.
Losin_it