You know, sometimes there are stories - usually including, but not limited to, the British tabloid newspapers - that for all intents and purposes write themselves.

When you see a headline that reads "Kerry was a prostitute who sold her body for money: Katona devastated as mother writes shocking tell-all book", you can pretty much be certain this is one of those stories!

That sound you hear ever so faintly in the background is Kerry "Chipshop" Katona hurriedly ringing the repo man so she can recover every Mother's Day present she's ever sent to her mum.

Sue Katona has reportedly signed a six-figure deal for the book in which she will make several shocking claims - including that her daughter once worked as a prostitute and that the 27-year-old's husband Mark Croft tried to seduce her.

The autobiography is another blow for Kerry who has been rocked by allegations of Mark's alleged cheating and a custody battle with former husband Brian McFadden.

In the book Sue discusses her daughter's drug habit and accuses the mother of four of getting her hooked on cocaine.

She boasts about propositioning the former Atomic Kitten star's lovers and claims to have slept with one of her former boyfriends and admits she tried to sleep with Ex-Westlife star Brian.

What! Her mother tried to sleep with the Potato? Her mother was unsuccessfully seduced by her daughter's husband?? There are so many subtle levels of "wrong" in this story, it's almost too good to be true! Someone nominate the Katonas for Family Of The Year!

There's a midday movie in all this - starring Jennifer Coolidge as Mrs Katona and Lindsay Lohan as Kerry, and guest-starring Devon Sawa as Brian "Potato" McFadden. Someone see to it that it gets made, there's a good lad.

 

Tags: au | brian mcfadden | kerry katona | mommy dearest | tell alls