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Jennifer Aniston And Cameron Diaz Exchange Sloppy Seconds
Posted by Molly Friedman at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2008
Just when Hollywood has seemingly runs out of ideas, it appears that the city of Los Angeles has also run out of dateable men. Two of Tinseltown's most eligible bachelorettes, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, have searched far and wide for the right arm candy, only to wind up scraping the bottom of the boy barrel. And their respective plights have gotten so dismal that the "sex-obsessed" blonde and "clingy" brunette are now swapping leftovers. As we already know far too well, Aniston has been gritting her teeth through this summer's most mysterious celebrity relationship with John Mayer, one of Diaz's former flings. And rumours earlier this month linking Diaz to a certain cokehead model have gained credibility after the actress was photographed out and about with the pretty-but-pretty-dumb Paul Sculfor. But the tale turns even more tragic: yet another sorry excuse for a man has nailed both A-listers, and managed to walk away the winner:
As Us informs us today, the former nose candy aficionado who was rumoured to spend Nelson Mandela fundraisers traipsing in and out of bathroom stalls with Kate Moss, is the current bedmate du jour of boy-crazy Cameron (who thinks "sex is the best" like OMG!). The supposedly clean Sculfor spent a few weeks slowly chipping away at Aniston's already damaged little heart after everything went sour with Vince Vaughn.
As for Diaz, the supposedly matured John Mayer spent a few weeks wiping away her post-Timberlake tears most likely in an effort to obtain as much rebound sex as possible. But back in 2003, good old Vince was the one wiping away another set of Diaz tears, this time caused by detox dieter Jared Leto.
Vince Vaughn, you charming devil, you. Now we understand why you turned down that threesome with Owen Wilson. Because when it comes to schtupping celebrity blonde singletons over the age of 30 in Hollywood, you are so money! You don't need his help after all.
[Photo credits: Wireimage, Splash]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
raincoaster
Posted 12:04 PM 24/6/08
HE doesn't appear to need any help whatsoever, and that is and alway shall be a mystery to me.
raincoaster
WGARefugee
Posted 11:52 AM 24/6/08
I think the tragedy here is that these two women have just enough going for them that they would have to be magically and masterfully combined to create the queen bee these drones seek. And so the drones flit from one to another, seeking a goddess that only exists in their imaginations, driven by instinct to complete a mission that can never be fulfilled. Next week on animal planet, Sea Urchin orgies.
WGARefugee
gwendemarco
Posted 12:54 PM 24/6/08
$12 million a movie and they date the same sort of dopes as hairstylists and secretaries in Columbus do. On the grading curve of life, doesn't that make them bigger losers?
gwendemarco
inkydinkydo
Posted 1:47 PM 24/6/08
They need to start dating construction workers. Architects. Landscapers. As long as they're not on HGTV, although that one blond dude is smokin'.
Maybe a dude ranch wrangler cowboy. A Marine. An unemployed accountant. A professional bass fisherman.
Seriously, ladies. There IS life outside of show business.
inkydinkydo
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 1:58 PM 24/6/08
I'm thinking the "boy barrel" is more like a petri dish.
Tiger_Tanaka
WGARefugee
Posted 3:11 PM 24/6/08
@inkydinkydo: This is a good idea. I'm thinking "Famewhore Rehab" in which Jenn and Cam-cam have to slowly wean themselves of their addiction by sleeping with less and less famous people. No one is pronounced cured until they have passed the ultimate test. Which would be me.
WGARefugee
Old No.7
Posted 1:21 AM 25/6/08
Jared Leto dated Paris Hilton before any of them.
Watch out for those little blisters, people.
Old No.7
TheQuestion
Posted 12:52 AM 25/6/08
@WGARefugee: I'm considering the possibilities of a woman with Cameron's ass and sex drive and Jennifer's breasts. The mind abso-freakin'-lutely BOGGLES!
TheQuestion
DorothyZbornak
Posted 1:58 AM 25/6/08
Am I the only one here who wishes they'd dump all the skeevy guys and just date each other? They'd be perfect together!
DorothyZbornak
kookla
Posted 3:16 AM 25/6/08
I bet they all get a group discount on Valtrex.
kookla