For all his scribbling on his hands about coffee beans and occasionally writing overly ponderous epic rock songs, Chris Martin seems to have remained charmingly daft through his steep descent into the upper echelons of "celebrity" (see: famous rock band, famous wife).

For evidence, look no further than his latest Rolling Stone interview, which for some reason makes me think of Martine McCutcheon running off her mouth at No. 10 Downing Street in Love Actually (which in turn makes me think of Martine McCutcheon vomiting in Mick Hucknall's glorious ginger dreadlocks, but that's another story):

He admits that growing up he worried about being gay.

"It was more like, 'Oh s***, what if?', because was brought up to think it was wrong," he told Rolling Stone.

"But then it struck me: who gives a s**t? And then it wasn't a problem.

"It sounds silly to say it now, but when you're a kid you think, 'I'm going to burn in hell for eternity if I like other guys or if I marry someone Jewish'."

But he eventually calmed down when he realized he was heterosexual.

"I was swayed by boobs," he says. "Let's face it, they're fantastic." Even so, it was not until he was 22 that he finally lost his virginity.

"There were religious issues and s**t like that," he says, adding: "Also confidence. I had a tricky time with girls.

"I got trapped in the friendship tip many, many times.

"I don't want to be the person that makes everyone laugh before they go off and bang. I want to be the guy that everybody bangs." He says that was the key driving force in his career course.

Actually scratch the Martine reference; he's more like that kid on the insurance ad who tells the story about a crocodile that came up and bit his guts out.

No wonder Gwyneth is so into yoga and meditation and macrobiotic rice milk, if this is the sort of chatterbox she has to put up with at home!

 

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