Australia's Next Top Model 4 Round-Up: The Final Countdooowwwn

ANTM4.jpgOkay so the last few weeks of Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4 kind of sludged past in a blur. Is it just me, or did all the interesting/captivating/actually modelesque girls get sent packing way too early this year? In any case, Alex and Demelza are this year's Alice and Steph/Eboni and Jess/Gemma and Chloe, and you'll note I've aligned Alex with all the past winners because there's no way in sweet merciful heaven that Demelza should win - least of all because of her despicable work in bullying Alamela, but because she just doesn't have it. Which is not to say that Alex is exactly the next Racquel Zimmerman, either, but hell, desperate times call for desperate measures. Hop over the jump for a last minute stats examination.

ALEXANDRA GIRDWOOD

While there was much LOL-age when Alex first appeared on the show - napping under her Kafka book - I've gradually grown to love her and her odd little Terrance & Philip mouth. She understands fashion (sometimes a little too much; witness the psychedelic mum pants she's so fond of), knows how to pose, and let's face it, making super fatty muffins and cakes for the other girls to eat? As Napoleon Perdis would say, "I LOVE IT!" She might be a bit up herself when it comes to... well, everything, but it doesn't bother me.

Alex copped the series' second load of controversy - sorry, "tragedy" - when it was revealed she had collagen lip injections, but who cares? Naturally it's fine for the judges to call Alex's augmentation a "tragedy", but it's heaps ace for them to call Demelza "fat". Anyway, off to Finalist #2...


DEMELZA REVELY

...and on that note, the media is horrified that Demelza was told she was "bottom heavy" and to lose weight. What makes this situation a little more delicate than it would normally be is the fact that Demelza - for all her worryingly adult powers of Bitch™ - is only 16. You don't need me to tell you that 16 is too young to be dieting and training 10cm off your hips. BUT, perhaps Demelza should've taken this as a sign that modelling is not for her just yet? The truth is, a "Top Model" needs to be a certain size. It'd be a grand old world if she didn't, but that's the job description as it stands.

Plus, she's too young. Not necessarily in years - because there are plenty of late-teens models stalking the world's catwalks - but in terms of her maturity levels, which you need a microscope to identify.

Anyway, if there's one reason for Demelza not to win, it's her bullying tendencies. I very much hope the judges take this into consideration next Tuesday night, because if she wins, then Steph/Jess/Chloe win, too - and it's Australia's Next Top Model, not Australia's Next NQR Runner Up Accidentally Winning In A Fluke To End All Flukes.

Defamer Australia Post

9:30 AM on Wed Jun 25 2008
by Clem Bastow

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