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Report: Movie Snacks Surest Way to Fat-Guy Comedy Stardom, Death
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 5:50 AM on June 14, 2008
The body-ravaging horrors of movie-theatre concessions aren't especially breaking news to anyone whose pores ever oozed yellow grease for two days after dropping $15 on one of those beloved Regal "Family-Trough" snack specials. But when couched in riveting metrosexual terms by Dave Zinczenko and the crew at Men's Health, the grim numbers yield a far more haunting context: A large popcorn with butter = 1,283 calories and 78 grams of fat; large nachos with cheese = 1,101 calories and 59 grams of fat.
And then there are Whoppers, whose pleasures we've long conflated with sweet spheres of chocolate-covered humanity but which Zinczenko et. al. have scared us straight into avoiding for the rest of our natural lives:
Whoppers (5 oz. box) 676 calories 24 g fat (20.3 g saturated) 88 g sugars How many malt balls does it take to run up a day's worth of saturated fat? About 70, the number in a theatre-sized box of Whoppers. This candy's a long-standing classic, but so are fat-guy comedians. You want to join that jowly double bill?
The folks at Hershey's are beside themselves, meanwhile, rallying to the defensive with a new slate of pre-movie commercials featuring Fat-Guy Comedy All-Stars like Jeff Garlin, Horatio Sanz and Frank Caliendo — the latter of whose spot reportedly features the rotund impressionist as Zinczenko, taking ill-timed breaks from his mani-pedi to obsessively wolf down a few smooth, life-affirming Whoppers. "This is what being a man is all about," he moans between chews, jowly all the way. OK, we're convinced.
- 6 Worst Things to Eat at the Movies [Yahoo! Health]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
NoGrumpys
Posted 6:29 AM 14/6/08
ANDREW AT THE CINEMATECHQUE
Let me know when you are available.
I'd like to talk to you
NoGrumpys
NoGrumpys
Posted 6:27 AM 14/6/08
just wait til my line of dehydrated chewy strawberries and mangos coated in a sweet, spicey lemony chilie coating hits the American Cinametechque. A decedant snack that is good for you.
"Make your apple a day a Mango" tm
NoGrumpys
Mark Graham
Posted 6:22 AM 14/6/08
Team Sour Patch Kids! Although, unfortunately for me, my local movie theater recently dropped my beloved SPKs for Sour Patch Watermelons. What a crock!
Mark Graham
CourageousCoward
Posted 6:18 AM 14/6/08
Team "Sneaking my flask into the theater!"
CourageousCoward
heidiho
Posted 6:15 AM 14/6/08
Team Junior Mints!
heidiho
Losin_it
Posted 7:12 AM 14/6/08
So I guess this means I shouldn't eat Whoppers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Okay. Thanks for the heads up, Dave.
Or, you could put me with those who think an occasional indugence, such as a piece of candy, some fatty food, or (gasp!!!) a cigarette, isn't going to hurt me in any significant way...actually, a little pleasure, taken sparingly, of that sort enhances our lives.
Losin_it
spanktastic
Posted 8:23 AM 14/6/08
Who eats 70 whoppers at once anyway? Just a dab will do ya.
spanktastic
mallamace
Posted 8:33 AM 14/6/08
how about Tim Russert?
mallamace
TheStarterWife
Posted 9:17 AM 14/6/08
Team SHUT THE FUCK UP I CANNOT HEAR A THING ABOVE YOUR CHOMPING.
Aside of that, Team Flask wins.
TheStarterWife
gwendemarco
Posted 9:56 AM 14/6/08
"A large popcorn with butter = 1,283 calories and 78 grams of fat..."
Is that with or without high school boyfriend's penis?
gwendemarco
Losin_it
Posted 11:59 AM 14/6/08
@gwendemarco: With. But we won't know the full health benefit of penises until they print those nutritional/calorie labels on them.
Losin_it
regisgoat
Posted 10:40 PM 14/6/08
Small bag of Peanut M & Ms: 270 calories, $1 at the convenience store next to the theater. Or, as an alternative: small bag of Peanut M & Ms, 270 calories, $5 at the goddamn concession stand. Now you know why they devised a candy that doesn't melt in your pocket.
regisgoat