Jay Leno is going through a sexual identity crisis. After getting in trouble with the gays for Ryan Phillippe GayFaceGate, it seems as though all the apologies and gay wedding attendances have him worried his flyover state fan base may have lost faith in his man's man, Harley-riding rep. And in an effort to clean up that potential mess, he's resorted to eagerly provoking Justin Timberlake into pervy chatter about the improvisational humor-challenged song and dance boy's girlfriend Jessica Biel. To prove his macho prowess, he leaps suggestively into a tale about meeting Biel on a Jaywalk when she was just 15 or 16, and insists (twice, in fact) that all sorts of very heterosexual thoughts went flooding through his head. As uncomfortable as this clip makes us, Timberlake finds the entire ordeal a (quite literal) thigh-slapper. The pair's respective desperate attempts at humor and machismo, after the jump.

After hungrily leaning forward in his sweaty seat to probe Justin with those standard women's magazine questions ("Are you engaged?!" and "Is anyone pregnant?!"), Timberlake does his best to affect charm by avoiding the issues at hand and turning to his well-worn, though never well-received, stand-up act. He's "engaged" in the conversation! Get it? Yeah, unfortunately, we got it. But it's Jay's repeated allusion to meeting the prematurely sexy and underage Biel playing volleyball (insert wink and elbow nudge here) that has us picturing things we never want to ever, ever again. You see, Jay "would still be in jail" had he acted on whatever Dirty Old Man desires he assures both Timberlake and America he most definitely, cross-his-chick-loving-heart, felt at the time. We get it Jay, and no, we still don't want any part of it.

• THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO [NBC]

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