'Hulk' Smaaaassssh 'Happening'! (And Other Box-Office Bloodshed For The Weekend Ahead)
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:15 AM on June 14, 2008

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to the latest surges and scourges among this weekend's new movies. After a fairly predictable go of things last week, we face a pair of high-profile releases that couldn't be further apart in their critical and commercial futures, a nifty and thoroughly unnerving art-house project (hint: wheelchair sex) and a surplus of worthwhile DVD debuts for the shut-ins among us. As always, our opinions are our own and, of course, exceedingly tasteful and accurate. We are always looking out for you!
WHAT'S NEW: Edward Norton still may not be doing much to promote The Incredible Hulk, but once all the behind-the-scenes drama died down and we actually got a chance to see the film, we realised, "Hey — this isn't so bad." Or rather, it is what it is: A loud blockbuster for 14-year-old boys, with top-to-bottom miscasting (with the exception of a pathologically brutal Tim Roth) exacerbated by action auteur Louis Leterrier's hamfisted touch. But! It is kind of spectacularly dumb, arresting summer viewing — we've heard it described as King Kong meets The Bourne Identity, which is just about perfect — and predictions of a $55-$60 million opening might even be understating things. It certainly won't get much competition from the paucity of what's around it this week, particularly...
THE BIG LOSER: The Happening has miserable word-of-mouth and an R-rating working against it, and while we can't add much beyond our previous dispatches and what our own Reviewer X mentioned here on Monday, we can say that we'll be pretty shocked if Manoj's Folly cracks $20 million by Sunday night. And that's probably a number Fox would be happy with, even if it means third or even fourth place overall behind Hulk, Kung Fu Panda and possibly Zohan. But this isn't Speed Racer — if this does hit $20 mil, expect a backlash to the backlash by the time we reconvene next week.
THE UNDERDOG: We alluded yesterday to the unhinged creepiness of Quid Pro Quo, a mystery/romance/mindfuck featuring Nick Stahl as a paraplegic radio journalist who, er... stumbles? Rolls? OK, happens upon a subculture of "wanna-be" disability fetishists. Among them: Vera Farmiga, who takes an immediate (and suspicious) liking to Stahl's baffled chair jockey even as their physical trajectories cross radically — hers en route to the paralysis she craves, his en route to walking again. The actors' heavy lifting saves writer-director Carlos Brooks's pretentious arse on more than one occasion, but conceptually, anyway, Quid wields the kind of strength and endurance M. Night Shyamalan only experiences these days from his hair product.
FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD releases include the terminal-cancer buddy bomb The Bucket List; the Hayden Christensen teleportation adventure Jumper; Michael Haneke's American remake of his torture opus Funny Games; Zak Penn's terrific poker-culture satire The Grand; and finally, by popular demand, What's Happening! The Complete Series.
So are you Team Hulk or Team Happening? Can Manoj shatter expectations and bring home the hit he so desperately needs? Did we miss a diamond or some other, less-precious gem in the rough? It's Father's Day weekend — what does your old man want to see?

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
NewsBlaze
Posted June 16, 2008 12:54 PM
I'm stunned!
Our two main movie critics panned The Happening, yet it beats out the Hulk as the weekend's number 1. The happening reviews had ten times the number of readers The Hulk reviews had. So maybe the people who went to see Happening don't read reviews, or don't believe reviews, or meybe they couldn't believe it could possibly be that bad. I get they're sorry now!
NewsBlaze
Posted June 16, 2008 1:05 PM
OOPS sorry about that, my cat jumped on the keyboard before I finished.
There was a spelling error "get" should have been "bet"
- and I wanted to add - the only reason it won is that is was shown in many more countries and many more theatres than Hulk.
DannielynSpears
Posted 3:35 AM 14/6/08
I suppose it'll make a ton of money, but I really don't sense any excitement for THE HULK in the air.
But then again, most of the boys I know were dying for the Sex and the City movie.
DannielynSpears
Shumina
Posted 2:54 AM 14/6/08
@Benovite: You sure you want to be influenced by plants while you're watching "The Happening"?
Shumina
Midge
Posted 2:53 AM 14/6/08
Unfortunately, I'm seeing The Happening tonight. Only because friends want to go and I never get a chance to see them. Now that's taking one for the team.
Midge
Benovite
Posted 2:50 AM 14/6/08
Fox needs to get the Starz marketing team for The Happening's second week adverts. I want to see it for the 'so bad it's good' factor, assuming that's the case.
Regardless, it will be when I'm stoned.
Benovite
CrankYank
Posted 2:44 AM 14/6/08
I think it's gonna be a green weekend (you know what I'm talking about, LA).
CrankYank
TurdBlossom
Posted 2:41 AM 14/6/08
Actually I'm looking forward to seeing the Incredible Hulk
Looks like it should be a lot of fun.
TurdBlossom
elanmilo
Posted 2:33 AM 14/6/08
I would rather stay home and watch re-runs of "Mr. Belvedere" than watch "The Hulk". Who in the world thought this needed to be made again? With Ed Norton? Seriously?
elanmilo
CourageousCoward
Posted 2:31 AM 14/6/08
Re: The Big Loser
I can't wait to hear the studio head's excuses on this one!
"We were up against an absolutely gorgeous weekend weather-wise. Nothing but blue sky and warm weather. How can we compete with that?!"
CourageousCoward
Spectacular Sam
Posted 4:22 AM 14/6/08
@elanmilo: Agreed.
Spectacular Sam
NoGrumpys
Posted 6:41 AM 14/6/08
@Midge:
I would recommend partaking of Plant Influences before being subjected to The Happening.
Especially the Brownies from the TLC dispensary on Lankershim- YUM! DUDE!
NoGrumpys
Shumina
Posted 7:54 AM 14/6/08
$20,000,000 for opening weekend for "The Happening".
Not happening.
Shumina
Rey
Posted 8:46 AM 14/6/08
@NoGrumpys: I'm kind of grumpy about your lack of discretion.
Rey
raincoaster
Posted 10:55 AM 14/6/08
What's Happening vs The Happening? No contest! Break out the bell bottoms and suede vests!
raincoaster
SugarByDesign
Posted 10:57 PM 14/6/08
Team Happening. No, wait! Team Hulk. No! Um, um.....decisions, decisions. I can't handle the dilema, I need a brownie.
SugarByDesign
Jack Szwergold
Posted 11:36 AM 18/6/08
Who is the genius who decided to release The Happening during THE SUMMER!!!!
Who in their right mind is excited to get out of the sun, and spend two hours of their life watching a mystery unfold around people killing themselves? Why do I need to see corpses when it's so nice out?
Feh!
Jack Szwergold