Remember waaaay back in December last year we told you about the Doctor Who Christmas special, guest-starring Our Kylie?

Well, if you've been a well behaved Kylie/Who fan and not Hurt The Artists by downloading or sharing the episode already, the ep will screen this weekend in Australia:

The singer plays glamorous waitress Astrid Peth in the Titanic-themed episode, which will air on the ABC on Sunday.

It sees Minogue lock lips with the time travelling doctor, played by David Tennant, before a surprise ending. The former Neighbours soapie star has said she was nervous about playing the role, but ultimately fell in love with the character.

There you have it, nerds/dancing queens - put it in your diary for Sunday night, right after your role-playing meeting and just before your all-night megamix danceathon.

Sadly for all local fans of sub-editorial antics, Australia's subs don't tend to be as fond of punning headlines as their British peers do (The Sun's "I Be-Weave In A Thing Called Rug", after The Darkness' Justin Hawkins got a hair transplant, was particularly memorable).

Fortunately, the kind folk at News.com.au have this afternoon outdone themselves, and noted the need for further punning, in this image from their front page (whipped up to announce that the soil on Mars would be fit to grow asparagus):

It's almost too much - in one fell swoop they have a) summed up the story, b) made a hilarious pun, and c) made said pun actually involve the word "pun" within its hilariousness.

Bravo, News.com.au - an extra round of drinks for the photo editors is in order at tonight's 6-o'clock swill!

Shouldn't single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she's just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we're not jumping on the "Diaz Engaged!" bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol' gem there, it's proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors' validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump.

Read More »

"Maaaaate! Did you see how friggin' hilarious my man Sam Newman was last night on The Footy Show? Maaate, it was PURE GOLD! I was so stoked for him, the man is a champion; all those hysterical women and party poopers should just shut up and put up. But mate, give the man a Logie. Just get a load of him!"

Geddit? He's the devil! Because he's just such an incorrigible, yet ultimately lovable rogue!

Yes, Sam made a scythelike self-referential return to the stage of The Footy Show last night, and judging by his appearance, do you think we can assume he is totally repentant after his most recent antics?

The answer is clearly "YES!"

Is it just me, or is the Daily Telegraph's continued coverage of MTV VJ Ruby Rose's life and times starting to get more than a little creepy? Apparently they feel she's not newsworthy unless she's pashing hot chicks, so - oh! - here we go, another story about her.

It seems Ruby's sexuality has won her a film role - you know, not her acting ability or anything.

"She got the role because of her looks and her brave stance on her sexuality," filmmaker Ron Brown told Confidential.

Rose, who has been caught locking lips with The Veronicas' Jess Origliasso, is also set to seduce in the film.

She plays "hot chick" Ruby who tempts the main character Fleur and her boyfriend at a bar.

Man, they just can't resist bringing up that Veronicas liplock, can they? Do you think there are photos of the pash on the walls of the Tele dunnies so the editorial staff can go and "relax" and find some inspiration?

How stupid of me, though - lesbians are totally just hot chicks who are making out with totally hot chicks! Just like gay men are totally awesome at fashion, dancing, and bronzer application!

It's that time again, the week prior to the Australia's Next Top Model finale, in which both the final contestants work the media like nobody's business and suddenly look oddly different to "last week's" episode (in reality, there are a few months between the penultimate episode and the finale; witness Alice's fire-engine-red hair at last year's bash and Steph's having had a month or two with a personal trainer).

And in a move that will be no surprise to absolutely everyone who watched this Cycle, Demelza is bringing out the big guns and hitting Alex where it hurts - in the birth certificate!

"I guess I'd be a little more concerned if I was her," Reveley said.

"I mean, she's 21 now, so she's kind of running out of time to do this and to make it in this industry.

"There is a short shelf-life being a model and that's just the way it is.

"I'd feel worried if I was in her shoes."

Yeah, I'd be worried if I were Alex, too, Demelza - worried about what to say when I eventually stop in at Muffin Break on my way to my third Vogue shoot and you are behind the counter serving me.

That's right, I so went there - here beginneth Defamer Australia's campaigning for Alex to win it! Come on Tiny Mouth!

Ever since Lisa announced her engagement to Dean "Actually Quite Good On Neighbours" Geyer, things have been a little quiet on The Veronicas' front. Well, wonder no longer what's been happening in the world of Australia's Second Favourite Twins (After The Blakeneys)!

Evidently the girls have been busy as bees in the States, where they have filmed a guest appearance on... The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody!

No, I've never heard of it, either.

In the episode airing on pay TV's Disney Channel this Saturday, the pair are hired to replace Zack and Cody after one of the boys gets stage fright in front of a studio audience.

"The network loves these girls, they're cute, they're twins, they can sing and they are from England," the network's CEO says following a performance by The Veronicas.

"Australia," the pair shout back.

Well, let's not dismiss their efforts too soon - after all, Marilyn Monroe's first contribution to the celluloid realm was to paddle up in a canoe and say "hi!", and they left her on the cutting room floor.

Personally, I think there could be a good opening for the girls to appear as evil twins in one of those Japanese horror flicks; have them jumping out of a wardrobe or something.

Like clusters of onlookers awaiting the Vatican smoke signals that announce a new pope, all of Hollywood stirred abuzz today learning that George Clooney would finally weigh in with a letter addressing the conflict between SAG and AFTRA. And weigh in he... didn't, instead choosing a neutral stand essentially saying everyone's right and would they please just sit down and try hammering out something constructive for once? Seriously, folks:

Read More »

Porn: not just for Van Nuys anymore! At least, that's the conclusion offered by the New York Post, which today posited that the valley's favourite industry may be working its way westward — right into the gilded rooms of an unnamed Beverly Hills hotel. Teased The Post:

Read More »

After finally seeing Wall-E Tuesday night at the El Capitan, your easily susceptible guest blogger is comfortable calling it a colossal achievement — an assertion backed up by other reviews going live today, including Variety's and Roger Ebert's. However, not all is innocent in Pixar's mostly-silent masterpiece: Republican environmental policy takes some not-so-thinly veiled hits, thanks to the movie's pro-green message (when a corporate overlord played by Fred Willard encourages his underlings to "stay the course" in the face of catastrophic environmental disaster, you might expect him to add, "You're doing a heckuva job, Brown-E!"). Now, critics at the conservative New York Post are piling on, calling Wall-E "anti-fat."

Read More »

In a world where musical theatre devotees and sci-fi fans yearn for common ground, the trailer for Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog grabs you by the lapels and sings, "I am that rare beast of boogie-woogie/for fans of Buffy/and fans of Doogie." Penned during the writers strike (ssshh!), the three-part internet series (helmed by Buffy creator Joss Whedon) stars Neil Patrick Harris as timid villain Dr. Horrible, who's about as skilled at wooing cute girls as he is at defeating good guys — which is to say, not very. Two pressing questions: how will Whedon fare in a medium free of low ratings and premature Fox cancellations? And also, is Neil Patrick Harris doomed to play a blogger for the rest of his career?

Read More »

After a whirlwind month of snubbing her fame-enabling Grey's Anatomy writers, the entire Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and anyone unlucky enough to get a whiff of her second-hand smoke, Katherine Heigl is somehow still idolized and worshiped by her emasculated husband Joshua Kelley. As we noted yesterday, Heigl spent most of Kelley's weekend gig at Hotel Cafe shouting out requests for songs, songs which have all been recently altered to include the name Katie in place of any other girl's name. But most disturbingly, the "rocker" reportedly overshared the fact that he had "curled her hair" before the show. And just how important is it that Kelley spend his pre-show time grooming his pompous pony? So important that he's suffered third-degree burns and dehabilitated his ability to play the guitar, all in the name of love. The excruciating details, after the jump.

Read More »

Only a week after our careful study of the Olsen Twins' trademark Prune faces, clever little Mary-Kate Olsen pulled a fast one on us at last night's screening for her new film The Wackness: the minx bore actual teeth for photographers, pose after forced pose. And even though it looks like putting on a smile in public is taking every last bit of effort and strength MK's tiny body can muster, the acrobatically trained twin has admittedly perfect chompers. Why she's been holding back on us remains a mystery, but what doesn't is where Olsen would rank on yesterday's roundup of celebrity make-out partners. Her 64-year old Wackness co-star Ben Kingsley clued interested parties in on the talents Mary-Kate's de-pruned grin is capable of, after the jump.

Read More »

Don't believe for a second that David Letterman really broke any studio embargoes last night to tell you he loves The Dark Knight (he's not even the first to do so), but that doesn't mean the pseudo-spoilers contained herein are likely to compel you any less. In fact, the film Letterman describes may prove to be better than the finished product Warners has so ingloriously pimped for months now, right down to Batman's protective ears and the franchise-ending climax we've been hoping for. Of course, as far as we know Heath Ledger is still in the film, so maybe it's all devastatingly true. It's not like the cast hasn't been preparing us. [CBS]

Read More »

If, like many Americans, you have never laid eyes on the sadistic torture fest known as NBC's Celebrity Circus, please allow today's clip to be your first. Now that the show is finished cracking ribs and breaking celebrity forearms, its reason for being felt willfully out of reach until this clip brought it all home: what if, underneath it all, Celebrity Circus is just an elaborate parody of the typical reality competition? As you watch Brady Bunch alum Christopher Knight (dressed as a model for International Male) swing through the air to the tunes of the Black-Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started," finally facing a trio of judges cut from the usual "generic, dippy, and British" mold, allow your mind to ponder the thought: is it possible to spoof a show that's already a parody of itself?

Read More »

What has turned into one of the highest-rated Real World seasons in years has also proven to be the most debaucherous. In previous seasons, we've seen more than our fair share of alcoholics, sexists and good girls gone bad, but the current 20th season cast has every problem child type all living together in one (environmentally friendly!) abode. Just rounding the halfway mark, the show has already kicked out two roommates: charismatic online audition winner Greg was given the heave-ho weeks ago, and naive little bully Joey left for drug treatment after admitting he was a daily cocaine and ecstasy user. And finally, the bratty and conservative Sarah succumbed to the tried-and-true Good Girl Drenches Hollywood In Vomit And Venom plot line, brilliantly set to Jim Morrison's angst-ridden shouts and ending with an adorably retro Charles Barkley reference.

Read More »

We had third-row seats to see George Michael last night at The Forum, but we sold them off at the last minute when we heard he was mixing his old withering, little-known heckling act into the greatest-hits mix. The revelation instantly piqued our sympathy for the uninformed who couldn't possibly anticipate what was about to hit them — folks like Dr. Phil McGraw, for example, whom a tipster tells us got the very worst of the vocalist's assailments:

Read More »

There was a time — let's call it "January" — that Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn appeared to be a post-holiday gift granted to us by the benevolent Tabloid Gods: while Britney checked into the psych ward and spurned Dr. Phil's advances, Jamie Lynn pulled a Juno and got pregnant at age 16. Since then, though, the media firestorm surrounding the two has begun to burn out. Even Britney herself appears kind of over it; as Jamie Lynn prepared to give birth away from all the flashbulbs in McComb, Missouri, the slow pace of her natural delivery prompted Brit-Brit to snap her gum in annoyance:

Read More »

As we bide our time waiting for the inevitable $200 million feature adaptation of Captain N: The Game Master (Zac Efron, call your agent), Paramount has unveiled new details on its latest strip-mining of 80's nostalgia: G.I. Joe. Directed by failing-upward Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing), Joe is all set for a summer 2009 release, but that doesn't mean it's too soon to reveal three new teaser posters and a new, utterly superfluous subtitle: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. Sadly, none of the teaser posters show off the film's most curious bit of casting — Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander — though the film's new subtitle seems to hint that Cobra won't be donning his live-action costume until everyone's bullshit detectors receive a proper workout. Posters (and reactions) after the jump!

Read More »

As much as we bemoan the dearth of good roles for women, minorities and Coreys, things have really never been worse for gerbils. But a change may be in the offing as early as this weekend, when one lucky hamster has the chance to break the fluorescent-plastic ceiling en route to the A-list:

Read More »

In the annals of celebrity scandal, the question of whether a Saved By the Bell co-star fibbed about his chest hair would surely rank below most — but not to the aggrieved, vigilant readers of Star magazine. After Mario Lopez gave an interview with People where he testified — under oath, no doubt — that he has never had to manscape, Star dug out old photos of the Dancing with the Stars alum that tell a different tale. What started as an eagle-eyed catch by connoisseurs of celebrity skin quickly became full-on outrage as fans of Lopez flocked to the forum to castigate their former idol. Said Star:

Read More »

This was supposed to be the time of Scarlett Johansson's life — happily engaged with at least two eagerly anticipated new films ahead of her and, most thrilling of all, her official status as Busty Blond Obama Campaign Cog confirmed a few weeks back when she confessed an ongoing e-mail correspondence with her fifth father and Democratic presidential nominee-to-be. "You'd imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly travelling and constantly 'on' — how can he return these personal e-mails?" she asked Politico on June 8.

Read More »

With festival fatigue closing in on all sides and the Verne Troyer sex tape still searing our minds one pixel at a time, we really needed a laugh Wednesday night. A panel discussion seemed like it might do the trick: "Funny Women," gathering Jennifer Tilly, Janeane Garofalo, Alyson Hannigan and Illeana Douglas poolside at the W, where comedian/director David Steinberg peppered them with questions when not contributing random career asides of his own.

Read More »