RSS Feeds
Ali Lohan Mere Inches Away From Her Big Break In 'Worst Movie Ever Made' Remake!
Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:35 AM on June 21, 2008
Sometimes we feel the need to get down on our knees and bow down to Mother of the Century Dina Lohan. Not only did she produce the neverending carnival ride that is Lindsay Lohan, but she has managed to do the impossible: get Ali Lohan a job. Sure, Ali was supposed to be a rap star or white hip hop lyricist or something, but a gig is a gig. Proving that one should always be careful of what they wish for, Ali's desire to "be just like Lindsay" has manifested in the form of a potential starring role in the remake of a 1980s cult not-so-classic. But before congratulating the 15-year old by sending over a giant supply of cokepants and nail polish to Casa Lohan, we're forced to rain on this pitiful parade by informing you which movie Ali's Big Break will be in: the remake of Troll. Why this is quite possibly the worst idea in the history of ideas, after the jump.
Something about a Friday afternoon with temperatures in the mid-90s has effectively turned our brains to hot fudge sauce, so what better frozen delight to ladle that over than the mindless fun going down at 
What appears to be a very innocent, all-American clip of 
Congratulations go out today (we think) to Harvey and Bob Weinstein, whose 2008 Mogul Comeback Tour finds them diversifying yet again en route to reclaiming some kind of surly, deep-pocketed mojo. It all starts on television, apparently, where the brothers plan to renew their old Miramax TV experiment with 
Sources are telling us this afternoon that the executives at MTV have decided against returning to Las Vegas, the scene of the 2007 Video Music Awards, for the 2008 incarnation of the show. Instead, this year's VMAs will be broadcast live on September 7 from the Paramount Pictures Studio in Los Angeles. While one source told Defamer that it was a case of "been there, done that", a separate source told us that the "very chaotic" proceedings last year had something to do with the decision not to return to The Palms Hotel in Vegas (where, you'll recall, a clearly out-of-shape 
Though she may not be among the top five searches on 
As the various, cretinous cast members of The Hills took to David Letterman's couch in recent weeks, more than a few of us were left wondering how the entertainment landscape had so quickly devolved from the days when the effortlessly charming and talented likes of Teri Garr would grace his stage—the two trading bon mots and flirting shamelessly, with Paul Shaffer providing a suitably white-funkified musical backdrop to the fizzy proceedings. They say you can't capture lightning in a bottle twice (do they say that? Or are we mixing our metaphors? Where were we? Oh right, Dave and Teri), but you also can't deny chemistry, and it was on abundant display when the two were reunited last night. They're grayer now, and slower—Dave touchingly guided Teri, who is suffering from MS, to her chair—but you can't deny the spark is still there. As Letterman stuck to his, "Did you do it with Elvis?"-line of questioning, Garr shot down the long-standing rumours that the two had once engaged in naked-pretzel antics themselves. But after the jump, we'd invite you to compare and contrast a classic pairing from 1986, in which an amorous Dave opens with, "I'd like to get a can of Windex and go to work." Suddenly, his preoccupation with Elvis makes sense, in a vicarious-thrills-seeking way. It's good to be The King.
If you are one of the millions of Match Game fans who long to return to those halcyon days when life was a breezy '70s cocktail-party-cum-game show—a double-tiered ping pong match of witty innuendo deftly presided over by a comforting, avuncular presence—well, then TBS's proposed update might let you down. If, however, you'd like to see Sarah Silverman respond to the set-up, "Melodical Murray is a human musical instrument; he makes music by blowing his...blank," with the answer, "BIG BLACK COCK"—then maybe 
Like the heady mix of pride and elation that fills you as you witness your own flesh-and-blood pulling themselves up by their lonesomes to take their first wobbly steps across the living room floor, witnessing some of your favourite stars' first times on the red carpet—
On a weekend when the wholesome American Girl 
Seriously, there is such a thing as anti-comedy — the type of 
When not 
