June 19, 2008

The Age's Photo Editors Have Not Forgotten What A Boom Year 1988 Was For Hilarious Buddy Comedies

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 1:57 PM on June 19, 2008

Having seemingly recovered from their brief foray into LOL[insert theme here] front page items, it appears TheAge.com.au are now concerning themselves with reviving the laff-worthy back catalogue of director Ivan Reitman, particularly when the story involves patently un-LOL-worthy second-comes-right-after-first Premier of Victoria, John Brumby.

Here's the latest evidence:

Twins.png

Hilarious, right? Because they don't look anything like each other, much like the humorous set-up involving Danny De Vito and Arnold Schwarzenegger playing twin brothers!

And look! They also managed to make witty reference to another Schwarzenegger movie, Total Recall, in a rib-tickling bit of sub-editorial nous! Please, TheAge.com.au, stop the laughs, I need to catch my breath!

(And so on. In any case, the story behind this piece of Photoshop genius is here.)

More Reasons To Like Sienna Miller

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 11:58 AM on June 19, 2008

Sienna Rhys.jpgHere at Defamer Australia, we like to keep tabs on which celebrities and industry "personalities" would likely be a great pal to have on a night out, just in case, you know, we ever end up breathing the same rarified air as the famous peeps.

One such addition to our small but perfectly formed exclusive list is Sienna Miller, who seems like she'd be a right laugh, and - in "exclusive" "revelations" given on the topic of the upcoming Richard Neville biopic, Hippie Hippie Shake - is a Home & Away fan. Streuth!

The suburban settings of Home and Away and Neighbours couldn't be further away from the provocative intellectual realm which allowed [Germaine] Greer, acclaimed writer Richard Neville and his then-girlfriend Louise Ferrier to find notoriety with their controversial satirical magazine Oz in swinging '60s and '70s London.

But Miller, cast as siren Ferrier in the movie of Neville's memoir, admits her diet of Australian culture is from a different genre.

"I grew up with Home and Away and Neighbours," Miller said. "I kind of had it (the accent) down from an early age".

This means I am one step closer to living out one of life's fantasies: drinking a six-pack of West Coast Coolers in front of Home & Away while having a pillow fight with Sienna Miller.

Dreams can come true, people!

'All Saints' Star Assaulted In Sydney

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 11:44 AM on June 19, 2008

virginiagay.jpgWhile All Saints is one of Defamer Australia's favourite topics of comedy, we were shocked to read that All Saints castmember, It Takes Two star and all 'round tops chick Virginia Gay had been assaulted in Sydney by two men thought to be responsible for the bashing death of a man not much later that same evening.

Police reports suggest Gay was lucky not to have also died from the blows dealt by the assailants.

It is understood that Ms Gay was attacked while walking back to her home after a late night stroll to the local shops to buy some groceries.

Fifteen minutes later, police believe, the men bashed and robbed a 30-year-old chef, Daniel Owen, who died as ambulance officers tried to save him.

Gay was attacked at 11.50pm on Saturday as she walked along Illawarra Road, Marrickville. It is understood she was admitted to a hospital casualty but was released the same night, nursing bruises but no broken bones.

The suspects are still at large and anyone with information is asked to phone Marrickville police on 9568 9299 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.

However, I was about to sign off on the story before this passage decided to make my blood boil:

There was no answer at Ms Gay's Summer Hill address when smh.com.au knocked on the door this morning but her mother reportedly answered the door to journalists earlier and said the actor would not speak about the attack.
Oh gee, you think, guys? She's just been violently assaulted by men who - according to the rest of their night's activities - could've killed her and she's spending some down time being looked after by her mum. Are you really surprised that she didn't want to talk to you?

Defamer Australia sends its most heartfelt well wishes to Virginia and will not be knocking on her door any time soon.

Ryan Phillippe Doing His Part To Prevent L.A. Real Estate Bubble From Popping

Posted by Seth at 11:15 AM on June 19, 2008

Crash-survivor Ryan Phillippe has recently invested in some real estate—a sprawling, 8,300 square-foot mansion in the Hollywood Hills, to be exact, which reportedly cost the actor $7,175,000. Some details from the LAT:

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How To Get The Olsen Twins Into Bed

Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:55 AM on June 19, 2008

After attending a New York movie screening with rumoured new boyfriend Justin Bartha last night, it appears that Ashley Olsen is about to finally make her new relationship public. And after years of tracking the Olsen Twins, we have to admit that we are more than a bit mystified by how these two ended up as a couple. The deliciously handsome actor, sort of memorable from National Treasure (for those of you bold enough to admit you've seen it), is about to become far more memorable after appearing opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones in next year's The Rebound. But more on our new crush this guy later. The question we can't quite answer yet has to do with both Olsens and their laundry list of former flings. Never failing to shock, both Mary Kate and Ashley have one of the most eccentric, baffling and WTF dating history between them. We examine each of their previous love interests in an attempt to figure out what exactly they find attractive, why they pick who they pick, and upon discovering quite the few lookers in the bunch, why these guys pick them, after the jump.

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Bad Math and Short Memories Spin Wacky 'Hulk' Hate-In

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 10:35 AM on June 19, 2008

Two percent doesn't sound like much of a quantity on its face, but it's apparently more than enough room for studio execs to rejoice after recent box-office scans reveal this year's grosses are slightly up from those of Summer 2007. Observers attribute part of the bump to "better-than-expected" openings for films like Kung-Fu Panda, Sex and the City, The Happening and The Incredible Hulk, with the latter film's $55 million opening rounding out Marvel Studios' blockbuster tandem with Iron Man.

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Rising Disney Star Eyes Miley Cyrus' Tweenybop Throne, Earns Spot On All-Time Best Teen Feuds List

Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:00 AM on June 19, 2008

After a bumpy spring protecting and investing their billion dollar baby Miley Cyrus, today brings news that there may be additional troubles brewing over at the Mouse House. 15-year old Selena Gomez, the rising star of the newest Disney series Wizards Of Waverly Place, whose elevator pitch was most likely "Gossip Girl Meets Harry Potter Meets Charmed But Like, Happy!," is reportedly usurping the scandal-plagued Cyrus' dimming star power. Quietly crowned "The Next Miley Cyrus" by various newsies, the Miley lookalike (minus gummy smile, plus premature Jolie-level hotness) plays Alex, whose painfully ironic mantra is "cast magic first, ask questions later." But the turbulence among competing teens trying to catch their big break by stepping over their peers left and right is a trend as old as the Mousketeers' first dimpled disciples. After the jump, we count down our top three favourite teen feuds of yesteryear.

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Hang On, Isn't Steve Carell's Career Actually Going Well?

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:53 AM on June 19, 2008

It was Christy from BB05, I believe, who coined the phrase "confliction", and I'm feeling much Big Brother-related confliction at this latest BB rumour: apparently Steve Carell may be entering the Big Brother House.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't BB intruder spots generally reserved for nonentities and those whose careers are either in or looking forward to a spell in the toilet?

The plot may or may not thicken:

"It is a rumour," a Ten spokesperson told Confidential yesterday. "It's unconfirmed.

"There's always a chance but it's just a rumour at this stage."

Rumours have been swirling for weeks a superstar guest would inject some serious ratings gunpowder into the current series of Big Brother.

Carell is the obvious pick given he and co-star Anne Hathaway will be on the Gold Coast this Sunday to promote their new film Get Smart.

"Serious ratings gunpowder"? What, so they're looking for something to blow the ratings to smithereens and leave it nothing but a pile of smoking, faintly bloody ash? Top work, Channel Ten!

'So, Next Time YOU Are Accused Of Gang-Banging The Entire Army, Try Lemon Detox!'

Australian Post Posted by Clem Bastow at 9:04 AM on June 19, 2008

tania_zaetta_l.jpgCelebrity has never been a stranger beast than it is today. Once upon a time you had to be a genuine movie star, recording artist or sports hero to sign an endorsement deal; now it seems even the weirdest transgressions and momentary infamies are all it takes to attach your name to a product.

Take Tania Zaetta, for example - you'll recall a month or so ago scurrilous rumours flew about accusing her of having slept her way around her visiting the troops in Afghanistan; upset by the allegations, she rebutted the claims furiously.

So, naturally her agent Max Markson has signed her up to be the spokesperson for a range of detox drinks!

Despite claiming last weekend that his client was "trying to get away from all the stress of the past few weeks", Zaetta's agent, Max Markson, yesterday released a media statement quoting her at length about the experience.

"The Lemon Detox drink has become a natural part of my life ... I have relied heavily on the program in the past few months during the stress brought on by the unsubstantiated claims surrounding my trip to Afghanistan and Iraq," Zaetta said in the statement.

"I found myself unable to eat after the allegations were made, so I used the Lemon Detox program to give me much-needed nutrients at a time when I needed it most."

This one goes in the same basket as John Wayne Bobbitt's porn career (because his dick was re-attached, geddit?!) and Johnny from BB01 in those ads for the socks with zips in them (because, I dunno, flamboyant friendly gay dudes don't have pockets? Geddit??).

House Of Puzzles Perfect Subject For Paranoiac Cryptologist J.J. Abrams To Spin Into Family Film

Posted by Seth at 8:00 AM on June 19, 2008

In a story from the NY Times that's almost too unbelievable to be true, a married couple of Wall Street investors—quite possibly the coolest eccentric rich parents currently living in America—had their Upper East Side residence custom retrofitted by a brilliant designer to hold more secret compartments, puzzles, games, and hidden treasures than Hogwarts Academy, all to delight their four young children. Beyond that, the apartment "even comes with its own book"— which Everything Is Illuminated author Jonathan Safran Foer was specially commissioned to compose—and its own soundtrack. Browsing the slide show tour is as mindblowing as it is mindbending, which, we suppose, makes it somehow fitting that Paramount has purchased the article for J.J. Abrams to adapt into a feature film:

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Shellshocked 'Letterman' Guest Steve Carell Sees Dead People

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 7:30 AM on June 19, 2008

Now that we've viewed Get Smart, we feel safe and more than a little sad to report that the sluggish advance word — i.e. "staggeringly bad" — overheard a few weeks ago wasn't too far from the truth. Worse yet, the contagion appeared to have reached Late Night with David Letterman on Tuesday, when the host noted a physical resemblance between star Steve Carell and the late Don Adams, the original Maxwell Smart whom Carell momentarily claimed to have met at this week's premiere. Honest mistake, apparently — he meant to say "Adams's widow"! Shortly after correcting Carell, Letterman proposed showing a clip; the star's deadpan gives way to a look of head-shaking terror we think he actually may have meant in earnest. Or perhaps it was just our post-Smart malaise messing with us. Judge for yourself after the jump, and let's all hope Carell has a less unnerving late-night act together by the time the inevitable Get Smart 2 comes around in a couple of years. [CBS]

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Gisele Bundchen Forgets Pants, Boyfriend in 'GQ' Interview

Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:30 AM on June 19, 2008

Rear end greasee Gisele Bundchen reveals what her astonishingly edible behind looks like without the assistance of Shiny Butt Masters in the new issue of GQ, but after spending the required hour drooling over the photos (many more, don't you worry, after the jump), also overshares on her clear indifference towards boyfriend/baby mama abandoner Tom Brady. Despite confessing that former paramour and constant Lakers (tear) game make-out partner Leonardo DiCaprio "broke [her] heart," it seems the tall, dark and handsome quarterback barely even caught Bundchen's eye after repeated introductions. And when pressed for more details on why exactly she's with the cheating jock, her reasoning sounds eerily similar to the way we'd describe our feelings towards a brother, ex-stalker, or (gulp) our dear ol' dad. The skin-baring photos, and evidence Gisele is just playing the friendship game with Brady, after the jump.

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AFI Recruits Storied Cineaste Jessica Alba To Deconstruct Film's Greatest Treasures

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:00 AM on June 19, 2008

Everybody loves lists, right? Especially those mystifying annual tallies compiled by the American Film Institute, which lumps together 100 films by style or some other vague calculation of merit upholding AFI's profile in cultural irrelevance. Its latest list mixes things up a little, however, featuring a who's who of talent ruminating on the 100 best "genre" films — from Westerns to sci-fi to mysteries, 10 at a time. But for every Clint Eastwood commentary about The Searchers or Roman Polanski insight about Chinatown, we've got Sean Astin chiming in about Judgment at Nuremberg and Jessica Alba weighing in on... well, we've assembled the greatest hits. Let it suffice to say that Annie Hall is closer than you might have thought to Alba's self-described, "stomach-turning" neurosis and that Cher is... yeah, she's the best. [AFI]

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Hollywood Asiamania Continues With 'Night Of 1000 Sheiks' On Paramount Lot

Posted by Seth at 5:30 AM on June 19, 2008

If this year were a Japanese monster movie, Hollywood would be Tokyo, and Asia would be the 30-story-high radioactive reptile devouring everything in its path. With the industry having already been bitten by the theme park monster—with announced plans for Paramount Movie Park Korea and Universal and Marvel attractions in Dubai—came today's news that one of our prettiest daughters, DreamWorks, had been paired off with India-based conglomerate Reliance ADA Group. A Defamer operative now informs us of a gala affair tomorrow night on the Paramount lot. The occasion? Kissing up to 1000 esteemed delegates from the United Arab Emirates:

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Britney Spears Suicide Alert! Hide All Umbrellas, Meds, And Morphine-Laced Lollipops!

Posted by Molly Friedman at 5:00 AM on June 19, 2008

Just when we thought Britney's 378th comeback attempt (you know, the real one) was on its final wobbly legs of materializing, a salacious cover story from Life & Style paints Britney as a suicidal and unstable girl (but not yet a woman). Using the headline "Britney's Suicide Drama," details are promised regarding the currently slimmed down doting mother who's finally perfected that weave nonsense after years of failing, along with her battles with repeated suicide attempts. As the weekly's source claims, "I spoke with her many times and I've gone to her house...She's on major medications...like a zombie now. She's a shell of her old self." But after getting past the enticing glossy cover, we found several holes in the exclamatory top story, a few of which we unveil after the jump:

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The Curious Case Of The Fake Defamer 'Bruno' Title That Ate The Internets

Posted by Seth at 4:35 AM on June 19, 2008

One of the on-the-job hazards of being a composite industry blog/nonsense repository is that occasionally, something we may have intended as a puckish, lightly satirical jab—a joke, if you will—is misinterpreted as fact. One memorable instance had The Australian soberly repeating our take on Mel Gibson's pitch for an ABC Holocaust movie, featuring a "Braveheart-style battle with thousands of Jewish and Nazi combatants rushing at each other across an open field." In that vein, while researching a post on the release date of Universal's upcoming Bruno movie, we were taken aback to find that our proposed mock-title for the summer 2009 release—Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt—had been picked up by a vast array of sources, including:

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Furious Art Dealer Meets Movie's 'Sex With Mother and Son' Claim Halfway

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:15 AM on June 19, 2008

We're on the record as having thoroughly enjoyed the pulpy, incest-tinged, true-crime biopic Savage Grace, starring Julianne Moore as Bakelite plastics matriarch and certified son-fucker Barbara Baekeland. Alas, one of Baekeland's lovers depicted in the film wants to make it clear that he didn't fuck anyone's son — especially Baekeland's — but that the whole "homosexual romp" thing? Yeah, that might be worth a lawsuit:

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Revisionist 'Robin Hood' Adds Sienna Miller to His Stash For the Poor

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:15 AM on June 19, 2008

Announced in April as approximately the 20th collaboration in development between Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott, Nottingham promises the duo's stylish, "revisionist" take on the Robin Hood legend — produced by Brian Grazer, natch, thus establishing the film as a sure-fire front-runner for the 2011 Oscars among people who keep track of these things. They're out there, and we hear them twittering a little louder this morning as Sienna Miller is officially so! thrilled! to be attached to portray Maid Marian:

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Hungover Matthew McConnaughey Still Searching For Missing Flip-Flop In Off-The-Richter Nicaraguan Surf

Posted by Seth at 2:35 AM on June 19, 2008

Approached by the NY Daily News for comment regarding eyewitness accounts of his recent, Tuaca-fuelled misadventures communing with Nicaraguan nightlife, Matthew McConnaughey proudly fessed up:

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'Bruno', Universal's $42 Mil Gay-Austrian Gamble, Gets His Release Date

Posted by Seth at 2:15 AM on June 19, 2008

We now know when to expect an answer to the "Bruno: Borat-level triumph or $42 million Universal folly?" question eating at Hollywood since first learning that the studio had shelled out that unconscionable sum for a feature-length prankumentary starring the heterosexually-threatening Sacha Baron Cohen character. From Variety:

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Steven Spielberg, DreamWorks Ready to Join Other Hollywood Players Outsourced to India

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 1:50 AM on June 19, 2008

Months of speculation over whom DreamWorks might be courting to help underwrite its ugly exit from Viacom ended late Tuesday when The Wall Street Journal reported that Reliance ADA Group, a massive Indian conglomerate, is close to sinking $500 million to $600 million into Steven Spielberg's breathless bid for autonomy. As presumed, the deal would expedite David Geffen's eventual departure from the DreamWorks fold and allow Spielberg to keep the DreamWorks name, if not the projects currently in development with Paramount/Viacom — alas, Transformers 2 stays behind. CEO and Spielberg right hand Stacey Snider would follow as well.

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