· Phew! For a second we were also worried Julianne Moore's young son would ask her what fellatio meant, and she'd have to go through the whole awkward rigamarole of telling him it's a character from Hamlet, and to ask his father for further details. [Late Show]
· Full House's Jodie Sweetin may have lost me to meth, but more importantly—how did she lose the baby weight?! [Dlisted]
· Ladies and gentlemen: Chace Crawford going down on a bottle of Bud. Yep, that's it. [Queerty]
· The guy who held up Sawyer and his wife at gunpoint in Hawaii was sentenced 13 to 30 years—unless he gets out first after Ben dislodges the Land-Mass-Disappearing Frozen Donkey Wheel of Doom and makes the prison disappear. [AP]
· X-Files: I Want To Believe just leaves us confused. Who's the guy with the stringy white hair in the trailer? Does Gillian Anderson's pregnancy figure in somehow? What's with the spotting on the poster? And finally, who greenlit this? [Yahoo Movies]

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So Liv Tyler just separated from her husband of five years and her Jolie-lipped father Steven Tyler just entered rehab for the 78th time, but in the most highly impressive of ways, the actress managed to avoid both lines of questioning during an interview with gay love lover Jay Leno by sweetly relaying stories of their incredibly "healthy" habits. After getting that boring "Oh My Gawd What Was It Like Having Your Dad Watch You Pole Dance At 16" story out of the way (nailed it, Jay!), Tyler paints a very Norman Rockwell-esque portrait of life at Casa Tyler as a child. Though we fear what the young Liv understood to be fatherly love was, in actuality, acid-tripping fatherly hallucinations involving trippy strings of floss. Watch and learn.

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The Australian Communications and Media Authority has found that Channel Nine breached regulatory safeguards when it broadcast a 60 Minutes feature last year on the suicide deaths of two Melbourne teenagers.

Are we even surprised? You can imagine the Nine/60 Minutes editorial brainstorm for that week, they would've looked at the newspaper reports and had ratings figures skyrocketing in their eyes, like money bags filling with gold coins in the eyes of Scrooge McDuck.

The authority found that the segment "contained a detailed description of the suicide method, and was not straightforward in its presentation of the facts".

"While the segment contained a warning, it did not precede the segment, as the code required," ACMA said in a statement.

ACMA said Nine had complied fully with the findings and had agreed to incorporate them into regular training for staff.

ACMA has also recommended that Nine put relevant help line numbers as part of reports and said it will be encouraging all broadcasters to do the same.

ACMA chairman Chris Chapman said reporting about suicide was complex for the media.

"While there are legitimate public interest reasons for covering certain incidents in news and current affairs programs, extreme care must be taken to ensure that stories of this nature do not inadvertently encourage vulnerable members of the community to imitate the behaviour," he said.

As ever, if any of our treasured Defamer family-members need a compassionate ear, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or SANE Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263).

Wow, who woulda thunk it? Apparently Amy Winehouse has been being really, really annoying at Blake's court proceedings (apparently she's also writing songs with some dude, but like that will amount to anything, if the past few months years are anything to go by).

The fit and active Blake has been in the clink for being alive attempting to pervert the course of justice, and assault.

Amy shouted to a judge "It's like Disneyland" during her husband's pre-trial hearing yesterday.

She made the remark after the prosecutor explained how the case against Blake Fielder-Civil might be delayed by juror holidays in the summer.

At another point the Back To Black star made a "yap, yap, yap" gesture as a lawyer spoke.

An usher had already ordered her to sit down and behave, after she stood up and made a big play of rummaging in her clothes.

The singer snapped back loudly: "I'm just tucking my skirt in" before slowly sitting.

Amy spent half an hour at Snaresbrook Crown Court, East London -- catching her husband's eye, blowing kisses and mouthing him messages.

We hardly think it would be an overstatement to suggest that California is currently gripped with a severe case of Gay Marriage Fever, a rare condition whose only cure is bearing witness to thousands of fabulously over-the-top, same-sex nuptials. On the heels of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi's joyful announcement that they'd finally make official their loving halfway home to hundreds of our city's homeless mongrels, comes this AP report via ABCNews.com—the same news outlet who sensitively proclaimed, "Stars' Gay Marriage Possible Career Suicide" shortly following the ruling—detailing the whirlwind romance of newly engaged Hikaru "George Takei" Sulu and his totally hunkycakes fiancé, Brad Altman:

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The UK press are particularly fond of giving publicity to the weddings of people twice or three times removed from celebrities ("It's Jamie Theakston's Babysitter's Cousin's Exclusive Wedding Photos, Only In OK!"), but in this instance I'll applaud them for it.

Leah Wood, daughter of Rolling Stones guitarist Ron, is getting married soon, and Ronnie has decided that the best thing to make his beloved daughter's wedding a success would be... some dwarves.

Wedding planners are looking for male and female "mischievous, giggling little imps" as short as 4ft. They will leap out of bushes to surprise guests with stunts such as stealing ladies' hats.

A wedding source said: "They're working on a theme based on the character of Puck -- the cheeky sprite from Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream.

"The idea is to have little people in costume popping up. It's going to be a fabulous do with no expense spared and the elves will make it even more fun."

(Points must also go to the Sun subs for coming up with the headline, "Rolling Gnomes".)

Really, I... there are no words. Do you think The Sun will offer it as a poster-sized art print? I'll take 50!

Browsing the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, we came across Steve Daly's survey of the modern spoiler, never more epidemic in the Internet age than on exterior shoots. And while some studios conceal their films' secrets by burning the entire set and even the movies themselves to smouldering rubble, we tip our cap to the more creatively minded subterfuge happening on sets from Indiana Jones 4 to Gossip Girl to Sex and the City. That's not going to stop us, though, from giving away everything that happens in Daly's piece after the jump.

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Another notable addition to the Diablo Files: Showtime has picked up The United States of Tara, ordering 12 episodes of the Steven Spielberg-produced comedy. If only there were some way to know what Diablo was thinking at this very moment—some live-feed into her brain that updates on the ones. Wait a second—there is! Sadly, however, she hasn't updated her Twitter account since Sunday, leaving us to approximate in 140 characters or less what her thoughts on this exciting development might be: "Salutations, Twit-hos! I'm now a TV show creator! That calls for raping a Krispy Kreme, methinks." [THR]

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Cindy Adams, the sole-surviving specimen of an age when Gossipsaurs ruled the Earth, has scored an interview with theatre impresario Eric Falkenstein. He's the man behind the all-star revival of All My Sons soon to hit Broadway, which stars John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, Patrick Wilson, and, most notably, Tom Cruise's billion-year war bride Katie Holmes. Falkenstein explains how their decision to go with Katie had everything to do with talent, not ticket-sales:

"As for Katie, director Simon McBurney, my casting director and I came up with a list of names. Katie's not really a celebrity type. She's done brilliant work in films like 'Pieces of April' and 'The Ice Storm.' And is perfect for the role.

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It has been many, many moons since Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt broke it off, but that doesn't mean that Gwyneth is immune to the jealousy that Angelina Jolie and her multi-national brood of infants inspires. In the new issue of Harper's Bazaar, Paltrow tells the mag that, "I may force myself to [get pregnant] one more time because the result is so worth it...And also my [late] dad said to me that his only regret in life was that he had only two children and he didn't have more." Though we doubt Coldplay frontman Chris Martin finds these loving words inspiring when it comes to slipping into the sheets with his hooker-heeled wife, Paltrow seems to feel the Apocalypse will officially begin if he doesn't. You see, she's just the best mother in the whole world (aside from Dina Lohan, that is), and "owes it to humanity" to produce another spawn. Also? Her late father was reincarnated as her hair,and chopping it off made her go "...aaah!" An explanation, after the jump:

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Because we at Defamer are fully committed to bringing together fans of seminal '80s teen comedies and Star Wars geeks in possession of both a Darth Vader mask and a burning need to get laid (of which there should be no shortage), we now pass on a personals ad, salvaged by a sharp-eyed Defamer reader before being snatched from the ether by an unseen hand and replaced with the dreaded "flagged for removal." It read:

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Everything is truly coming up roses for gay love in California this spring. The state's gay marriage ban was lifted, Ellen DeGeneres got down on one trousered knee, and tonight, everyone's favourite homophobic "comic" Jay Leno will put on his gayest face, prove just how much he adores boys who like boys, and attend an actual same-sex group marriage rally. As E! quotes the event's spokesperson, "He said that he is from Massachusetts and that the sky did not fall in their state when marriage equality became the law of the land there...He wants to impress upon everyone here in California that the sky will not fall here either." Yes, Jay. The sky will not fall on California, but we some interested parties certainly hope it falls right on top of you. More details on the event (get your fucking tickets NOW!) and the gay community's reaction, after the jump:

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Sharon Stone continues to field the fallout of having weighed in at Cannes with some highly controversial armchair-theorizing about what might have caused the devastating earthquake that snuffed nearly Chinese 70,000 lives, many of them children. (Crux of her argument: It was the act of a vigilante Buddha.) After being dropped by Dior as the face of their Chinese marketing campaign, the actress and outspoken vagtivist has now been disinvited from the Shanghai International Film Festival:

Festival spokeswoman Tang Bing said...film festival organisers sent Stone a letter protesting her remarks and demanding an apology.

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An insomniac browse last night at PeterBart.com revealed that the Variety editor's spirited studio defences have made a remarkably speedy, seamless transition to the blogosphere. Readers seem to be enjoying it as well, alleging stolen stories about DreamWorks on one hand and launching a fascist-tastic comment cascade following Bart's breaking! News! about production resuming on Valkyrie

Although the film has yet to be completed, several people I trust have seen Valkyrie and testify that it's a superb thriller. "Bryan Singer is back in form," says one source, referring to the Valkyrie director whose last film was Superman Returns.

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In light of the news that Ruler of the Universe Ryan Seacrest will soon be hosting a show on NBC called Momma's Boys, we're both delighted that the highlighted wunderkind has decided to ignore all the inevitable backlash, and disappointed that the show will be using mere mortals as contestants. Of all the male celebrities out there, Ryan is undoubtedly one of the most clear-cut examples of how we imagine our worst nightmare of a "Mother May I?" type to be, but he's certainly not alone. Below, we nominate a few of our own submissions to the casting call printed in Backstage this week for "candidates who should be ready to be humiliated," in celebrity form of course:

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Still shivering and coated in a fine, scarlet mist from a prestige boutique-label bloodbath that saw the shuttering of New Line's Picturehouse and Warner Independent, Hollywood woke up to yet further indie-arm carnage today. A press-release announced that Paramount Vantage would see its marketing, distribution and physical production departments folded into that of its wider-appeal studio host-body, Paramount Pictures:

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Our hats are off to the merciful executives who refuse to give up on The Moment of Truth—Fox VP of Satan-Delighting Alternative Programming Mike Darnell's sluggishly paced, polygraphic game show. Week in and week out, it drags itself into the dugout and attempts to deliver on the life-destroying promise it showed at Reality TV spring training, but rarely does it succeed. At best, as in last night's episode, we come away with the mild satisfaction of knowing that things will forever be uncomfortable between that week's featured nymphomaniac and the best friend she's doesn't think will ever have a professional recording career, but has often considered fucking.

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Seeing how much fun we had grilling John Cusack last week, we decided one impromptu, inquisitive turn deserves another. Then, through some minor miracle/apparent PR botch, we found ourselves sitting across from Werner Herzog talking about his new documentary about life in Antarctica, Encounters at the End of the World. We'll get to that as its release date approaches later this month, but for the moment, we're still wondering how hard our legs were just pulled as Herzog told us all about his mad vision for remaking continuing (or something) Abel Ferrara's 1992 cult classic Bad Lieutenant.

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· Celebrity nape-haver Matt Damon will play South African rugby star Francois Pienaar in Clint Eastwood's Human Factor. Accent time! [Variety]
· Chuck creator Josh Schwartz declares "computer geeks...the new doctors and cops of television," by which he means a clichéd profession conspired upon by lazy writers and unimaginative network executives to oversaturate the TV landscape. [Variety]
· SAG is churning out more and more waivers with indie producers, guaranteeing production won't be interrupted after June 30 should something go horribly wrong with the negotiations. It's a limbo agents are referring to as "Waiverland," named for the union spokesman who signs the interim agreements, Kenneth Waiverland. [Variety]
· Bruce Willis will star in Kane & Lynch, a lesser-beloved-videogame adaptation for Lionsgate. [THR]
· Brian DePalma goes to the serial-killer well once more with The Boston Stranglers, written by former Diff'rent Strokes and Head of the Class writer Alan Rosen. No word yet on whether or not they'll throw Dan "Arvid" Frischman a bone. [THR]

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On a day when feminism in Hollywood swings wildly between pure gender-pandering and impassioned scrotum-punching, we're hearing about one developing project that could potentially split the difference: I Spit on Your Grave, a remake of the notorious 1978 rape-revenge film that made so many friends upon its initial release ("Attending it was one of the most depressing experiences of my life," Roger Ebert wrote in his original review).

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Welcome to Hollywood, kid! Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky's meteoric trajectory from no-name Long Islander to Golden Globe-nominated movie star struck its inevitable litigation point Tuesday, when her former managers sued her and her mother for a cut of her earnings from the 2007 hit. Margaret Karaszek and Michael Ostrowski allege they're entitled to a "standard 20 percent cut for helping Blonsky land the role," reports Newsday, which adds that Blonksy nabbed the part of Tracy Turnblad six months after her contract expired with the partners. They say the Blonskys verbally re-upped for two years; a judge, meanwhile declined the Blonsky request to dismiss the case on the grounds that Karaszek and Ostrowski aren't entitled to anything without agent licenses. We give them one week to a settlement, which we predict Blonsky will obligingly pay off by working just one more summer at her old Cold Stone Creamery in Great Neck. [Newsday via People]

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We've tried anything and everything — flash cards, spreadsheets, mnemonic devices — to help us keep our Brittanys straight over the years. But bless her heart, Brittany Snow is breaking away from the Murphy/Robertson/Daniel pack with recent stand-out work in Hairspray, Prom Night and now something called On the Doll — "a story of the victims of child abuse, and the pain it visits upon their later lives." Among those pains: a full, NSFW minute of Snow pummeling the shit out of some hapless dude's balls, establishing the rising star once and for all in the canon of serious, gonad-smashing actresses of her era. Congratulations to her, and best wishes for a quick rebound from that whole Tinker Bell-firing thing. What? Fuck. Sorry, we swear we'll get them straight eventually. [On the Doll]

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Clearly taking its inspiration from Defamer's own Guess the Celebrity Nape—the scruff-scrutinizing contest that's sweeping the nation!—People.com unveiled their own contribution to the celebrity-parts-IDing trivia-game canon with Guess the Feet. It provides hours and hours of fun! (If you're Quentin Tarantino.)

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